Not the Same
by Asimi
Summary: SasuSaku. Complete. When it came to emotions, Sasuke was usually clueless, and this time was no exception.
1. Not the Same

_Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, because if I did, you would be watching stick figures poke each other. _

**So basically I'm in love with SasuSaku, in case you didn't pick that up based upon the theme of this fic. XD**

**But anyway, I was reading a lot of other fantabulous SasuSaku related fics and decided to try my hand at writing one. This is really my first attempt at any big SasuSaku fanfiction…the rest of my collection is just drabbles and oneshots. So read, review, and enjoy! I always like to know what my readers think…my apologies if this chapter is a bit slow—promise it'll pick up soon enough.**

**If, that is, I decide to continue it. I have a terribly bad habit of leaving things unfinished for weeks, I'm afraid... -.-; XD**

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**_Chapter One: Not The Same _**

She had been forced to come; he could tell by the way she stood back from everyone else, the way her arms hung motionlessly at her sides, the way she refused to even look at him. The most she had given him since he arrived here was a quiet "Ohayo, Sasuke." He didn't blame her, however. He didn't deserve her attention, as much as it surprised him that he wasn't receiving it.

The anger that he was greeted with didn't appall him in the least. They all had a right to be resentful towards him, all for different reasons. His punishment had already been executed: he was not permitted to be outside Konoha for an entire year, instead focusing his energies on completing simple, D-ranked missions within the walls of the village for the meanwhile. Any small misconduct on his part now would result in a far more severe penalty later.

So, in short, the anger that everyone emanated didn't surprise him at all. He was a traitor, a revenge-bent fool in the eyes of most. Naruto held a grudge, Kakashi hadn't spoken more than a few words, and Sakura…she had been silent this entire time. Those two words of greeting she had uttered softly had been the only ones to slip past her rosy lips since he had regained consciousness.

That in itself didn't shock him, either. He remained silent as well, nodding as Naruto explained what had been happening since he had been gone to signify that he understood, when he sensed her eyes upon him. He blinked, shifting his gaze in her direction, his onyx eyes locking onto her jade ones. No emotions seeped past his impassive features, as always, but her eyes told him everything. She was angry, she was hurt, and she was confused. Completely and utterly confused. Her brows were knitted together in frustration as they regarded each other, one of her white teeth biting onto her lower lip. His stony countenance only seemed to irritate her more. He glanced back at Naruto, who was still in the process of explaining the current events in Konohagakure.

It was then that she surprised him, with a solid slap to the face that he didn't even have the time to detect, let alone block. By the time he had turned to look at her in shock, she was already slamming the door behind her retreating back.

This was definitely not the same, crying Haruno Sakura he had left on that bench all those years ago.

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It had been a long time since he had last walked these streets. He took his time, not really paying attention to where he was going, contemplating silently as he stalked the empty paths of Konoha. For the first time in his life, he felt secure. Perhaps not as fulfilled as he would have liked, and most definitely not as content, but he did feel secure.

His goal was accomplished; Orochimaru was long gone, as well—and yet…he still did not feel fully satisfied.

He smirked twistedly to himself. Kakashi had been right. He had become so focused on revenge that, now it was out of the way, he had no idea what to do with himself. He ate, he slept, he trained, he took walks…and that was all. Life had been simple these past few days.

Glancing at the sky, he assumed that it was about to rain, the telltale rumble of thunder in the distance only confirming his suspicions. A few people were bustling around the streets by now, but not so many that it made him uncomfortable. It was still fairly early…only ninja and a few early-bird villagers were awake by this hour. Besides, if he lucked out, it would start to rain soon and all of them would just flee back inside, anyway.

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His wish granted, it soon began to drizzle, causing all those in the streets to quickly duck under a roof for shelter. He, instead, merely walked along in the light rain, eventually stopping under a tree to shield himself as it began to pour, shoulders and hair only slightly damp. Closing his obsidian orbs, he listened as the thunder occasionally rumbled from afar, the droplets of rain pounding against everything in sight. He sighed, sliding down to sit at the base of the trunk as he opened his eyes, staring up at the steadily dripping, green canopy above him.

He had always liked the rain. It created one of the few opportunities where he could find an excuse not to train, to just sit and think without the worry of everyday responsibilities. With a sigh, he closed his eyes again, only to have them snap back open as he sensed a presence approaching.

He scanned the street to find a sopping wet Sakura walking in the direction of his tree. He shifted slightly, his brows creased in mild confusion. He noted that she had an umbrella in hand, but was blatantly ignoring its purpose, instead allowing it to hang limply from her right hand as she focused her emerald eyes on the sky. Even from here, he could count the rivulets of water as they rolled gently down her neck and onto her clothing, which was thoroughly stuck to her body. When she finally reached his tree, she slowed and eventually stopped, eyes still focused on the clouds above. She refused to meet his eyes yet again, staring upwards as the rain continued to pound her body. Silence stretched between the two.

"You're going to catch a cold if you stay out there in the rain," he muttered eventually, turning his attention back to the water drops that were collecting on the leaves above him. She dropped her head after a moment, staring ahead, a thoughtful look on her face; a small, sad smile flickered across her lips.

"I've endured far worse than a cold, Sasuke," she said quietly. She had dropped the familiar _kun_ suffix from the end of his name, he noted. As much as he tried not to care, her impassive behavior stung him, to an extent. Not that he would ever let her know, of course.

The silence stretched between them again, Sakura's attention once again fixated on the clouds above. After a moment, her lips parted slightly, the quiet dissipating with her words.

"I'm not going to apologize for slapping you, you know," she said quietly. He turned to peer uncertainly at her, a frown gracing his handsome features. She turned to look at him, her mouth set in a stern line, beryl eyes betraying her frustration with him. "You deserved it—and then some." And with that, she was around the corner and out of sight before he even had the chance to blink.

After a while he smirked, closing his eyes.

"Aa," he murmured, though he knew she was already far out of earshot. "I know."

Yes…this was most definitely _not _the same girl he had left on that bench all those years ago.

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**So I hope you liked the first chapter enough to give me some wonderful reviews…I love those. Oodles. :D Teehee.**

**Even if you didn't like it, constructive criticism is always welcomed. I'd love to know what you think I could do better in the future! Thanks a bunch. :)**

_**Ja ne!  
Dani-chan**_


	2. Changes

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, because if I did, you would be watching stick figures poke each** **other.**

**Wow…I did a decent job of getting it up soon-esque, right?**

…**Right? T-T**

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**_Chapter Two: Changes_**

The next day saw Sakura walking towards the Hokage tower with an armful of heavy medical texts held out before her, breath slightly abnormal due to their weight. Her fingers straining to keep their hold on the slippery leather bindings, she was forced to slow her pace time and time again to shift the books in her arms, trying to wrap her fingers around their spines in a more comfortable way.

"Hehe…here, Sakura-chan," said a familiar, cheery voice as she stopped for the umpteenth time. A pair of strong, male hands lifted more than half of the load from her straining arms, relieving the cramped muscles of her delicate fingers.

" Ah, arigatou, Naruto," replied Sakura, giving him a sheepish smile. He returned the gesture with one of his classic grins, chuckling.

"So what're all these books for?" he asked after a moment, nodding towards the heavy texts they were carrying towards the large, red building that towered over Konoha.

"Tsunade-shishou asked me to pick them up for her," said Sakura, readjusting her handhold on her smaller stack of books.

"What for? Increase your stamina?" he chuckled. Sakura laughed along with him as they climbed the stairs along the side of the building.

For a while they walked in silence until they reached the top of the stairs, where Naruto allowed her to slip through the doorway first. One of the few things that had changed about Naruto since their encounter with Sasuke two years ago was his courtesy; he had become slightly more chivalrous since that time. That wasn't to say that he had become quiet and devoid of bad etiquette—not in the least. He was still loud, obnoxious Naruto. Just with a few more good manners than before.

"Sakura-chan?" he asked as he slipped through the doorway after her, quickly falling in step beside her once more.

"Yes?" she replied, turning her sea-foam eyes upon him.

"Do you have anything to do after this?" he asked casually—looking at the ceiling—as he always did when helping her with a task. She smiled, opening the door to Tsunade's office and taking the books from his hands.

"Yes, I'll go to Ichiraku with you, Naruto," she giggled.

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Sasuke walked down the half-empty streets of Konoha later that evening, the sun no more than a tinge of pink-orange on the horizon. The rest of the sky was a purple-gray color, giving the village a rather surreal look—only the yellow glow from the shops he passed breaking up the abstract lighting effect.

He shoved his hands into his pockets—a longtime habit of his—dark eyes glinting strangely in the odd light of evening, raven locks swaying slightly in the breeze. He took a deep breath, deciding that he should probably head home for something to eat, when the familiar sound of laughter met his ears. He slowed to a stop, listening.

There it was again.

He recognized the laugh; he just couldn't place the owner. Curious, he strode around the corner, the ramen stand Naruto was so fond of coming into view. And then he stopped once more, brow crinkling slightly in mild confusion.

There sat Naruto, grinning that stupid grin of his. But was surprised him was the fact that Sakura was sitting next to him. The laughter had belonged to her.

His head cocked slightly to one side, confusion growing as he watched them. When they were younger, Sakura would rather be seen anywhere than with Naruto in that ramen stand. And now there they sat, acting as though they were the best of friends, both enjoying each other's company thoroughly. It saddened him a bit, as much as he was loath to admit it. He felt as though he had been gone far longer than he really had—both of them had changed so much over the years. He was certain he had fared no better, but the changes were so much more acute in these two than in him—in his perspective, at least.

Naruto was still as childish as ever, that was for sure; but he had gained a certain aura of maturity that so long ago had seemed far beyond his reach. He was no longer a foolish boy with dreams of becoming the Hokage of Konohagakure. He was a full-fledged shinobi.

Even so, that didn't stop Naruto from being Naruto. He was still a dumb blonde, as far as Sasuke was concerned. But Sakura…Sakura had turned into someone he could barely recognize, if not for the startling pink hair and enchanting emerald eyes.

She was still Sakura in the sense that she looked the same, smelled the same; but he could tell just from the way she acted that she had seen things that she probably shouldn't have at her age and had wisdom far beyond her years. It wasn't just that, however; she was…different. He couldn't place what about her it was, but she carried herself differently. She wasn't a foolish girl whose entire existence revolved around him any longer. She was a woman: a proud kunoichi whose life was devoted to her village and every last person in it.

As he thought, Naruto turned back to his ramen and Sakura chortled once more. She turned to look out at the street, and their eyes locked for a brief moment. It was enough to make Sasuke continue walking right past the stand without so much as a backward glance.

It wasn't the sudden eye contact that had made him flee. It was the way all the laughter died out of her eyes as she looked at him, the way her smile had ceased to exist once she realized he was there. The fact that he was no longer someone she could bring herself to smile at stung him more than anything else he had encountered since his return to the village. He had expected her to be hurt, and others to be angry; he had expected punishment, hatred, even envy. But in the end…he had expected her forgiveness. He let a smirk of twisted humor play across his features.

What a fool he was.

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"Don't let the teme bother you, Sakura-chan," said Naruto, shaking Sakura out of her thoughts. She turned her eyes away from the direction in which the one in question had disappeared, regarding Naruto for a moment before giving him a half-hearted smile that faded as fast as it came.

"Yeah," she said quietly, turning back to her food.

"If you don't want to see him, I'll gladly tie him up in a closet somewhere for you," he teased. Sakura couldn't help but laugh; not at the idea of Sasuke tied up in a closet, but the prospect of Naruto actually trying to tie him up in the first place. Naruto chuckled with her, and she appreciated it. He had been the one person keeping her sane during those first years of Sasuke's absence, and there was no way for her to ever repay him or show him how much gratitude she really had.

So almost every night they sat here together, teasing each other and relieving the stress of their everyday lives; he was her comic relief after a long day, and she was the one person willing to sit and listen to him for more than ten minutes. To Sakura, he had become a greater friend than Ino had ever been. He always knew just what to say to make her smile, even if she had tears streaming down her face.

Naruto had become someone who she would defend with all that she had, no matter what the cost. She had already lost one important man in her life; she wasn't about to let Naruto go, as well.

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Sasuke was sitting under his tree again, eyes closed in thought.

He had woken up to a foreign village. This was Konoha, that was one thing still the same. But the inhabitants all seemed like new people entirely. He had trouble recognizing most of the people he had grown up with, having to stare for a few minutes to determine just who he was looking at instead of just glancing and knowing. He heaved a sigh.

It was to be expected. Konohagakure had not been his home for five long years—change was inevitable. He sighed again.

"I take it you sit here a lot, then?" asked a familiar voice quietly.

His head shot up to find Sakura standing just a yard or so away, hands clasped behind her back as she looked at him inquisitively. His shoulders relaxed slightly, though he still regarded her with a slight tenseness, disturbed that she had managed to get so close without his noticing.

"Mind if I sit with you?" she asked, though she was already walking past him and lowering herself onto the grass a comfortable distance from him. She lapsed into silence once more, gazing up at the stars. He observed her out of the corner of his eye for a moment before doing the same, the night sky reflected in his obsidian orbs.

After a while her head lowered and she gazed at her hands, resting in her lap, brows knitted together in thought. He switched his gaze back to the midnight blue abyss above them, leaving her to her contemplations as he waited for her to speak the words he suspected she was trying to form in her mind.

A moment later and his suspicions were confirmed as her lips parted, mouth open with words unsaid for a few seconds before she actually spoke.

"Why did you stay here?" she asked him. Her voice was no more than a whisper, but his sharp ears had no trouble catching the words. His eyes remained on the stars above, however, even as his brain worked overtime to figure out just what she was asking. Why had he stayed with Orochimaru? No, that was too obvious. She was asking him why he had remained in Konoha once he awoke in the hospital bed.

"Would you rather I stayed in Sound?" he replied quietly after a moment. She shook her head slowly, eyes returning to the sky above.

"If I asked you right now," she began softly after a moment, speaking slowly and deliberately, "what your goal in life was, what would you say?"

He turned his head slightly in her direction, a small frown upon his lips as he regarded her. When she did not meet his gaze, he faced forward again, brow furrowed as he stared ahead, thinking.

She had hit the nail on the head with her inquiry, that was for sure. What was his goal? His lifelong dream, however twisted it was, had been accomplished. And now he didn't know what to strive for at all. He was a being without purpose; there was nothing for him to move towards any longer.

"I don't know," he replied after a moment, a bite to his tone. She smiled, albeit a small one, slowly getting to her feet.

"And to think that so long ago," she murmured quietly, her back to him as she began to walk away, "revenge seemed like the most fulfilling thing in the world."

Ouch.

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**Read and review, pwease. :D Reviews make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. :)**

**Ja ne!  
_Dani-chan_**


	3. Making Progress

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, because if I did, you would be watching stick figures poke each other.**

**I'm trying my hardest to get one chapter out each weekend, but with school starting up again and all, it might be a bit difficult some weeks. So far I've managed, but don't eat me if a chapter gets up a bit late. **

**To all my wonderful reviewers, thank you. I appreciate all of your support and criticisms. To answer a few questions/comments:  
****Right now, I'm not sure if other characters/pairings will come into this. For now, just because of the direction this fic is headed in, I'm leaning towards no. But we'll see, I suppose.  
****I'm sorry, but rescuing my readers from man-eating confetti falls out of my jurisdiction. Sowwie. XD  
****THANK YOU for showing me how to allow anonymous reviews. I honestly would have never figured it out on my own, because I'm just that dense sometimes. XD  
****I appreciate all the people who added this story to their favorites/alerts list. I know my fics aren't the best out there, and I'll take all the support I can get. :)**

**Don't forget to review! I like reviews…reviews are nice…**

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**_Chapter Three: Making Progress_**  
Sakura awoke far earlier than she would have liked the next morning, and lay in her bed for a good five minutes, glaring intensely at the curtains she had forgotten to draw across the window the previous night. After a while, however, she sighed and swung her legs out of bed, proceeding to ready herself for another day. 

It wasn't until she grabbed her shuriken holster that she remembered that Tsunade had given her the day off. She sighed, disappointed, placing her ninja gear back inside her closet and sliding the hitai-ate from her head. She didn't enjoy her off-days as much as she used to; now that everyone was older, almost all of her friends were on missions when she was at home. She let another sigh slip past her lips, deciding to go for a walk to pass the time.

It was a pleasantly warm day, a soft breeze playing with her pink tresses as it swept past. She took a deep breath of the crisp spring air, a soft smile tugging at the corners of her lips. Walking past a cherry tree in full bloom, she slowed her pace to admire its beauty, the blossoms swaying delicately on their branches. It was then that she noticed the raven perched near the top of the tree, midnight blue feathers a startling contrast to the soft pink of the cherry blossoms. A flash of onyx eyes danced through her mind, and she walked on, smile turned to frown as she gazed at the street below her.

No matter how hard she tried or how much wanted to, she couldn't get him out of her head. He was and always would be a part of her, as much as she would like to say that she no longer cared for him. And as much as she tried to resent him, to convince herself that she sought to bring him home only because he had become a threat to Konoha, she couldn't. She was angry with him, yes; she was confused by him, yes—but resentment? Hatred? Loathing?

She just couldn't bring herself to even whisper the words 'I hate him.'

Because she didn't.

And then came the question that always surfaced in her mind:

_Do I still love him?_

And she didn't know. As much as she had adamantly believed that she loved him with all that she had those five years ago, she had absolutely no idea whether or not she still harbored such strong feelings for him anymore.

She sighed, kicking a rock; a full-blown scowl replaced her frown by this time.

There wasn't a day that went by where she didn't wonder what would have happened if he would have stayed in Konoha. And every time she thought about it, she came up with a different answer. There were tragedies where he died, fantasies where they lived happily-ever-after, and scenarios where all remained the same. None of her conclusions ever seemed very realistic, however. None of them seemed very 'Sasuke.'

He perplexed her—utterly and completely. And there was nothing she could do about it.

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Sasuke observed the changes in her facial expression with carefully concealed curiosity. He noted the way her mouth creased softly at the sides when she was in deep thought, the way she bit her lip when she was frustrated. He was intrigued that someone could express so much with just a twitch of the lips, a tense of the jaw. He could read her every emotion, plain as day. But they changed so rapidly that it was difficult to keep track—and that was what captivated him.

He found himself immensely interested in what she was thinking about, though he could probably take an accurate guess. He was the only one recently who had been able to wipe the smile from her face with no more than a sideways glance.

Against himself, he found that he was wondering if she hated him. It stung him like that slap he had received to think about Sakura—the one person he had expected instantaneous forgiveness from—resenting him. It seemed like just yesterday she had been proclaiming her undying love for him, and now she couldn't even look him in the eye. His brow furrowed as he watched her near the tree they had sat beneath last night; she stopped, her face wiped clean of expression like a freshly erased chalkboard. Her eyes traveled up and down the height of the tree before, tentatively, she approached it, sitting down at its base and closing her eyes.

Her shoulders heaved in a heavy sigh, and the only other movements he could discern came from her steady breathing. A small smirk played across his features.

So she didn't hate him, after all.

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That night Sakura and Naruto sat in Ichiraku again, troubles forgotten as soon as they sat down inside. It wasn't long before Naruto was wolfing down his usual portions of ramen, Sakura trying her best to concentrate on eating her own food and not his childish antics.

Sai had decided to join them a little later, though he declined all offers of food.

"Doesn't that defeat the whole purpose of coming here?" snapped Naruto around Sakura, who had seated herself between them, trying her best to prevent what she knew was inevitable whenever these two got within earshot of each other. Sai just smiled, knowing that it would anger Naruto more than any insults he threw.

"Che!" breathed Naruto. "You bastard!"

"Whatever you say, dickless," muttered Sai, leaning lax against the counter.

"Bastard!" shouted Naruto, jumping up and pointing an accusing finger at Sai, who was blatantly ignoring the blonde by this point.

Sakura rolled her eyes, turning around to watch the two argue back and forth. Naruto was the one doing most of the yelling, as per usual, and Sai's impassive attitude only angered him more. She bit the inside of her mouth as she remembered the days of Team 7 with a pang in her chest.

Almost on cue, Sasuke strode by, this time not even sparing her a glance. She frowned, mentally berating herself for the disappointment she felt at his disregard. She had promised herself long ago that she wouldn't do this anymore, that she wouldn't strive for his attention like a starving dog would a bone. And yet here she was, unknowingly wishing for just a sideways glance, even though she knew that once he looked her way what she saw in his eyes would all but make her day.

"I have to go," she said robotically, leaving her money on the counter and fleeing from the ramen stand before Naruto had the time to utter a word. Hell, she had left before even _she_ knew that she intended to; but what was done was done, and there was no turning back now. She walked swiftly down the street until she could just make him out under the tree, and slowed her pace.

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"Walk with me," she said as she approached. Sasuke looked up at her uncertainly as she continued to stride past him, not sure what to do. After a moment, though, he tentatively stood and started after her. It only took him one or two good strides to catch up, remaining a step or so behind her as he shoved his hands into his pockets. He had never been one to walk so familiarly beside others.

Their pace was slow; he could tell she really wasn't paying attention to where they were going. Not that he minded, of course. It wasn't as if he had anywhere else to be or anything better to be doing. So he watched the night sky as they walked, as he often did with whatever spare time he had on evenings such as this.

She stopped suddenly, and so did he, looking at her uncertainly once more.

"Why?" was the only whispered word that escaped her. He blinked, brow crinkling in mild confusion. "Why did you leave?" He studied her back carefully, unsure where the sudden question had come from. As a matter of fact, if he had known that she was going to ask him such things, he would never have followed her in the first place.

"Isn't that obvious?" he asked evenly, onyx eyes still observing her.

"It was stupid of you," came the reply. Sasuke was taken aback, he had to admit; Sakura had never been so straightforward with him, let alone gone so far as to insult him. "You gave up your friends and jeopardized the safety of the village just to ensure your brother's death. It was stupid of you." His eyes narrowed at the mention of his brother.

"He killed my family," he shot back, a bite to the edge of his voice.

"But you didn't have to leave," she replied, voice remarkably calm.

"So I was just supposed to forget about it and pretend everything was fine?" he snapped, growing angry.

"He deserved to die," she said, unfazed, as she looked up at the sky. "But you killed him for all the wrong reasons."

And here he was, thinking she was starting to understand. He glowered at her back; she just didn't get it, did she?

"Are you trying to justify his actions?" he growled.

"There's a difference between justice and revenge," she replied, ignoring the question as she turned around to look at him. "For one thing, justice doesn't consume your life."

He continued to glare at her, the serene expression on her face only serving to fuel his anger.

"Look at yourself, Sasuke," she said. "You don't even know what to do with yourself anymore." Her eyes softened a bit with her statement, but his glower did not lessen in intensity at all.

"You have no right to berate me for something you cannot possibly understand," he seethed. She blinked. "You didn't have to come home to find your bloodied parents dead at the feet of the person you used to idolize." She looked down, a soft, sad smile playing on her lips.

"No," she said slowly after a moment. "I suppose I don't. But you know as well as I do that you're revenge probably wound up hurting you more than helping you in the end." The eye contact was back, her beryl orbs once again peering straight through him, as if she knew all of his inner turmoil.

"Tch," he scoffed, looking away as he fisted his hands in his pockets, a scowl on his face. "You really are annoying."

She laughed slightly.

"Guess I haven't changed so much, then," she said softly, looking up at the night sky.

And here again came the feeling that she had morphed into an unrecognizable someone. The girl standing before him was not Sakura. Or, at least, not Sakura in the sense that he didn't know her new persona. She was older, more experienced, mature, smarter. She had changed in every fathomable way, and the person before him was a complete stranger in comparison to the pink-haired thirteen-year-old he had left in Konoha so long ago.

Then came that overwhelming feeling of regret, ready to swallow him whole. Had he really made the right decision in leaving? Sure, his goal had been accomplished, but what price did he have to pay? He had given up everything he had once come to love, all to ensure the death of one man. He really was a fool. And she was right; he had no idea what to do with himself anymore. There was nothing for him to strive for any longer—he had no purpose.

"It _was_ stupid of me," he said quietly after a long moment, walking past her. She stared after him uncertainly until he rounded the corner and was lost from sight. A soft smile found its way to her lips after a moment.

She was making progress.

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**Ja ne!  
****_Dani-chan_**


	4. Almost

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, because if I did, you would be watching stick figures poke each other. **

**Okay, so perhaps promising you guys one chapter a week was a bit ambitious for me, considering the fact that October is quite possibly the busiest month of the year for my family (we have like…80 bajillion birthdays going on, and a Halloween party to boot) and that school started up again fairly recently. I haven't had much time to write lately, because I've been busy working my ass off to get the house clean…we have family coming out tomorrow. So maybe I'll extend my deadlines to one chapter every two weeks. ((is butchered to death)) Yes, yes, I know…I'm trying… ;-;**

**And I would just like to give a HUGEMONGOUS thank you to all of my reviewers. You have no idea how excited I get when I get new reviews. It's insane. I'm like a giddy little schoolgirl, no joke. I run around the house like a bloody leprechaun.**

**Special Thanks:  
****graviola, Ms. Uchiha, FaitaGirl, animevivverz, Sabrielle, Zelha, nejitenlee13, Sya0ran, icygirl2, Psyche-Wing, Marisa, liandrin, Sasuke's Agony, Aurora Slytherin, hushhushyou, curiousbrain**

**Don't forget to review, and one day you, too, might be on the Special Thanks list. Isn't that exciting? I'll bet it makes you wanna just hop off and review right now. After you read the chapter, of course.**

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**_Chapter Four: Almost_**

Though he had heard from Naruto that Sakura had 'monstrous strength' due to Tsunade's tutelage, Sasuke found it difficult to believe that someone with such a seemingly frail stature could ever "make craters with her little finger."

He guessed it was just Naruto's way of trying to scare him into leaving her alone, but he couldn't be sure. Around three years ago, when they had met for the first time since he had left, she had not used any techniques on him. As far as he knew, she still had the skills of a genin.

But if her skills were so lacking, then why was she going on an A-ranked mission to Suna?

He watched as Sakura, and a team of other people he only vaguely recognized (including that black-haired ninja that had been his replacement), walked out of the gates from his spot high in a tree. A woman whispered something about ANBU; her companions nodded vigorously, murmuring about a medic in hushed tones.

Sakura was a medic now, wasn't she?

He shook his head, disbelieving. He could bring himself to admit that she was a skilled medic; maybe she even had her so-called 'monstrous strength.' But to say that she was of ANBU-skill level? It took a lot to become an ANBU—a lot more than a quick brain and brute strength.

All that aside, he was curious as to why Naruto wasn't sent with her. Normally it was the new and improved Team 7, right? Sakura, Naruto, his replacement, and Kakashi?

"Che."

He didn't know why it irked him so much that they hung around with his black-haired alternate. Five years he had been gone—it was to be expected that they found a space-filler. Sasuke sighed, watching as the group that had been sent off disappeared over the horizon, before hopping from his tree branch and making his way toward home; there was no reason to stay up waiting tonight.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Sasuke found it amusing, in a twisted way, that he was still having nightmares.

He walked down the streets of Konoha, eyes closed to the world as he tilted his face up towards the sky. The nightmares were like a part of him, now; he was used to them being there, waiting for him when he turned out the light. Tonight, however, they had been particularly severe.

He sighed, opening his eyes and glaring at the sky above. Sasuke was used to the nightmares, those didn't surprise him in the least. But he had hoped against hope that they would at least give him a break now that Itachi was dead.

If anything, they had gotten worse.

He scowled, slamming his fist into the fence nearby and shutting his eyes tightly. Whoever brought him back here…whoever saved his life…

…he wished they would have just left him in that pool of mingling blood.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Sakura found it irritatingly ironic that it was this cold. They were in the middle of a desert—wasn't it supposed to be unbearably hot and dry?

But instead, here she sat, huddled in a blanket, body as close to the fire as she could get without singing her shoes. Another shiver caused her to pull the blanket closer to her flesh.

"How much longer until we arrive?" asked Sai's voice from her right.

"Only a few hours' run," replied Temari. During her frequent visits to Konoha, she often returned to Suna with a group of Konoha ninja leaving for a mission. Inner Sakura was glaring fiercely at her, currently, as she was the only one not huddled close to the fire. She sat back, instead, blanket draped loosely around her shoulders as shelter from the light breeze stirring the sand upon which they sat, looking remarkably comfortable and warm.

Sakura sighed, staring into the fire. She hoped Naruto was doing all right. The only reason why he wasn't on this mission with herself, Sai, Temari, and Yamato was because he would be taking the jounin exam during the next few days. She had taken it just last year and passed with flying colors, but she was surprised when Naruto was hesitant, and even more so when he waited a whole year before entering. She smiled slightly—he was probably trying to get higher scores.

That was the sort of thing Naruto would do, just to tease her about it.

The smile faded from her lips as her thoughts traveled to Sasuke; she wondered what he was doing about now. Sleeping, probably, was her first guess. Though she didn't have much time to ponder the subject as Sai tapped her on the shoulder, telling her it was time to go. She stood, stretching as she shed the blanket from her form, letting the desert chill hit her with full force. She might as well enjoy it while she could…this was an assassination mission. Her body would be slick with adrenaline and physical exertion soon enough.

xXxXxXxXxXx

"Shouldn't you be sleeping?" Naruto asked, stopping and scratching his head confusedly. Sasuke did not stir, eyes closed to the world.

"Aa," he replied. The blonde's brow crinkled slightly.

"Does that mean you can't sleep, or you don't want to?" he asked. Sasuke remained silent for a moment, contemplating his answer.

"Both," he said quietly. Naruto leaned against the wall behind him, looking at the raven-haired prodigy across the narrow street.

"What do you mean _both_?" asked the orange-clad boy.

"I can't sleep, and I don't want to," replied Sasuke dryly; his statement only seemed to confuse Naruto more.

"What are you, an insomniac?" asked Naruto, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips. He was afraid to let out a full-fledged grin in front of Sasuke, anymore. He had been different since his return, and whatever change had taken place only served to shatter all of Naruto's past understanding of the boy before him. Sasuke had come back colder than he had been when he left, and the unsettling change almost frightened the blonde boy who had once considered him a best friend.

Sasuke shrugged, hoping that Naruto would take the hint and leave.

He didn't.

"Why can't you sleep that makes you not want to?" asked the azure-eyed boy, shifting his position on the fence behind him. Annoyance crept into Sasuke's tone as he looked over at Naruto.

"Why aren't _you_ sleeping, Naruto?" he asked shortly. The blonde reached into his pocket, holding up a scroll.

"Jounin exam," he replied, giving Sasuke a small, sheepish grin. "I have to go back tomorrow, though."

"Hn," Sasuke replied after a moment, turning away and closing his eyes once more. So that was why he hadn't been sent on the mission with Sakura.

Naruto scrutinized the boy before him with confused interest, uncertain as to what else he could say. After a while, though, he pushed away from the wooden surface behind him, lacing his fingers behind his head and walking away.

"Welcome back, Sasuke-teme," he said quietly after a moment, knowing that Sasuke's sharp ears would easily pick up the sound of his soft voice.

xXxXxXxXxXx

"Damn it, Sai," she whispered, voice shaking, her face illuminated in the greenish glow of the healing chakra she was emitting from her hands. He tried to smile, but found himself coughing up blood instead.

"If you would've watched yourself," he began hoarsely, coughing again, "then I wouldn't have this hole in my chest."

"Shut up!" she commanded loudly, if only to keep her voice from rattling so much. She shook the tears away from her sea-foam eyes, pressing her palms into the wound with more force. Her clothing and hands were spattered with his blood, and she could feel the red liquid seeping into the earth beneath her knees. Sakura's gaze was frantic as she increased the chakra flow into his wound, trying desperately to mend the damage done; he had lost a lot of blood already. Yamato and Temari were off, somewhere, still attempting to complete the mission.

Which left Sakura, alone, with a dying Sai.

She tried her best to calm herself, observing the wound through the viridian glow as well as she could, attempting to slip her mind into its hardened medic's suit. If she didn't calm down soon, she could wind up making a mistake that would cost Sai his life. Taking a deep, shaky breath, she surveyed the wound, willing herself not to look at his face, if only to keep her from remembering that it was a teammate lying before her, a hole in his chest. She shifted her hands slightly to get a better view in the dim light, and had to keep herself from crying out in relief.

It had missed the heart.

Her own slowed its wild pace a touch, emerald eyes losing their frenzied glow.

"Hang in there, Sai," she murmured, watching with a trained eye as the tissue and muscle began to sew itself together, the blood flow stemming slightly.

xXxXxXxXxXx

They looked like they had been through hell and back.

She was out of breath, and her clothes were ragged and torn and stained with blood that was not her own. Sasuke could tell that she was having difficultly helping his replacement walk, for he seemed incapable of taking even one decent step without leaving heavily on her tired shoulders.

"Weak bastard."

The pair were back early, it would seem. The other two they had left with were nowhere in sight, and he was positive they hadn't been killed, otherwise Sakura certainly would have been, as well.

He watched as she stepped through the gates, a jounin nearby offering to carry the boy for her. He cocked his head in confusion, eyes narrowing in distaste, as she declined his offer, trudging along with tiresome slowness towards the hospital. She looked ready to collapse, yet still she held her arm firmly around his waist as she helped him down the street. The ink-haired boy said something to her, the corners of his mouth down-turned with concern, but she shook her head, giving him a small smile.

Something stirred in Sasuke, bearing an awful similarity to the jealousy he used to feel toward his brother.

xXxXxXxXxXx

It was a long time before Sakura finally emerged from the hospital, wiping her cheek with the back of her hand, succeeding in spreading a small fleck of not quite dry blood. Her feet seemed to drag themselves along the road, eyes filled with a tired sadness as she stared ahead, unseeing. She was lost in thought, oblivious to the blood still staining her clothes, flesh, and hair.

She took a deep, shaky breath, biting her lip and willing the tears to go away.

He had almost died.

No matter how much she told herself that it was over and to stop worrying, she couldn't help it. She had worked on many patients in the hospital, even some critical cases with Tsunade. She had lost a patient or two before, and she was trained to stay calm and collected during the treatment, as not to make a mistake. She had never slipped-up. She had never actually caused someone to lose their life.

But it was a whole new playing ground for her, to have someone so close to you slipping away like the sand in an hourglass glued to the floor.

If that blade had not missed his heart, she was certain he would have been dead before she even had the chance to begin healing him. It was an incredible feat that she had even managed to steady her hands enough to press them over his wound.

If it had been Naruto with that hole in his chest, or Kakashi-sensei, she didn't think she would have even been able to think straight. It was a mistake to send her on missions to serve as a medic for people she was so close to, so afraid of losing.

"Guess I'm still too weak for this sort of thing, ne?"

She sniffed, opening her watery eyes and shaking the tears away from her pale and bloody cheeks, a new determination in her beryl orbs.

"I'll get better…I promise."

xXxXxXxXxXx

He didn't know how he wound up walking past that vile stand every night, as if expecting her to be there, though he knew she wouldn't be tonight. Sasuke had watched her walk into the hospital earlier that evening, to visit his replacement, Naruto nowhere in sight. Again came that familiar feeling, but he pushed it away. Why should they care about him? He had left them both without even a simple goodbye. They had a new teammate to look after, now—a teammate that hadn't left them for a risky chance at revenge.

And he still wasn't sure why it got under his skin so much; he had lived a full five years in near-complete solitude, he should be used to the lack of friends and kind words by now. He heaved a sigh, shoving his hands deep into his pockets and stalking off in the direction of his tree.

xXxXxXxXxXx

She didn't even say anything today, taking her seat beside him; she kept the distance between them a comfortable one, afraid she might scare him off again by sitting much closer than a foot or so away. Why he kept coming back here to wait every night, she did not know. She wasn't even sure why she came here to sit with him, aside from the fact that she slept easier at night knowing that she was working her hardest to make a spot for herself somewhere in his mind once more. She certainly didn't come for the conversation—the silence between them was always present, though not awkward.

"Shouldn't you be at the hospital?" he asked quietly after a long time, not bothering to open his eyes. Sakura almost jumped at his words. She looked over at him uncertainly before returning her gaze to the sky above.

"He needs rest," came the soft reply. She could scarcely raise her voice higher than that; the shake had not left her throat since last night. Beside her, Sasuke opened his onyx orbs at last, regarding her carefully from the corner of his vision. He could sense there was more than that keeping her away from the hospital tonight, but did not press her, surveying the leaves above as they swayed in the light breeze.

Sakura was afraid to speak. If a whisper had so much as a slight tremble to it, Sasuke would pick up on it. Would he call her weak? Annoying, perhaps? Frightened at the prospect of losing their late-night talks, she kept her mouth shut, just glad to have someone to sit beside tonight.

xXxXxXxXxXx

"What happened?"

He could easily sense her surprise at his question, if not from the way she jumped slightly, then from the way she turned her head uncertainly in his direction, eyes searching his face. For what, he did not know, but he didn't think she would find it.

After a moment, she slowly turned away, staring across the narrow street blankly, jade eyes scrutinizing the fence on the other side from beneath a crinkled brow. Taking a shaky breath, she laughed softly, looking up at the sky.

"Not much," she said, her voice trembling ever so slightly. "Sai almost died."

It was his turn to search her face uncertainly, though perhaps he accomplished it without as much blatant obviousness. Once he was sure she wasn't joking, his gaze, too, returned to the black abyss above them. So Sai was his replacement.

"But he didn't," Sasuke replied dryly after a moment. "Don't agonize over it."

She looked at him as if she couldn't quite believe that he had said such a thing.

"I'm guessing you healed him," he said it as more of a statement than a question, standing. Her head moved in a barely perceivable nod, nonetheless, and he shoved his hands in his pockets, beginning to walk away. "Then be satisfied."

xXxXxXxXxXx

She continued to stare after him until he was long gone, lips parted slightly in a mixture of confusion and disbelief, before she shook herself back into reality, pushing herself off the ground and walking in the opposite direction, headed for home. She sniffed, a small smile dancing across her rosy lips.

"Arigatou, Sasuke."

xXxXxXxXxXxxXxXxXxXxXxxXxXxXxXxXx

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_Dani-chan_**


	5. First For Everything

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, because if I did, you would be watching stick figures poke each other. **

**I'm not entirely certain that I like the ending to this chapter, so tell me what you think. It's 3:17AM, currently, so I have no clue as to whether or not I did a good job on the last three pages of this. Or maybe I write extremely well this late at night, who knows. XD**

**THANK YOU to all of my reviewers. I love you dearly. You keep me going when I have no clue what else to write…so thank you times a bajillion.**

**Special Thanks:  
****icygirl2, Kineticfairy, Slytherin Kunoichi, graviola, hushhushyou, animevivverz, Sakura Uchhia, liandrin, Zelha, Soporific, Sasuke's Agony, mentally unstable X3, Kuro Chocobo, Chikata, curiousbrain, Kimyuri, little miss pissed off, FaitaGirl, Psyche-Wing, Marisa, Sya0ran, nejitenlee13, Sabrielle, Denied Love, emmamoonpotter**

**Wow…it got substantially bigger this time, I think. XP Teehee.**

**Acknowledgements:  
**TO PRACTICALLY _EVERYONE_ THAT REVIEWED CHAPTER FOUR**: There will not be any SaiSaku or SasuSaiSaku in here at all, hate to disappoint. I have this condition where anything related to SaiSaku kinda makes me cringe and/or twtch violently. :D  
**graviola**: Lmao…I don't even know where to start with you. You think too much! XD OF COURSE you're in the Special Thanks list. All of your reviews make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. :) And there's no Uchihacest in here, not in the least. Uchihacest makes me cringe. More than SaiSaku. By a lot.  
**Soporific**: As far as where I'm going with this, I'm going to be honest. I really have no fucking idea. XD I just sort of…sat down and wrote the first chapter because I couldn't get the idea out of my head, and then…they just kept coming. This fic is basically all instinctive…I sit down and write a new chapter every one to two weeks and hope I'm not failing at this whole 'writing' think too miserably. XD**

xXxXxXxXxXxxXxXxXxXxXxxXxXxXxXxXx

**_Chapter Five: First For Everything_**

It was the third time that night he had stalked silently past her house, hands shoved in his pockets, a small frown adorning his features. She found herself unable to sleep; apparently, he couldn't either.

Another yawn slipped past her lips as she sat by the window, watching as he rounded the corner and was lost from sight. It was beyond her why he came to this portion of Konoha, because he lived a good distance away. When she had been a little girl, she would have told herself it was to see her—but she wasn't a little girl anymore. She doubted from the distant expression on his face that he even knew he was this far away from his home.

Her eyes flickered over the horizon, which had steadily turned to a light purple as she sat there, subconsciously watching for him. Old habits die hard, she supposed, standing and readying herself for another day.

As she often did when she rose earlier than normal, she slipped out the door and started walking. When she headed in the direction in which he had disappeared, she told herself it was to keep her normal route from getting old.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Sasuke wasn't normally one to watch the sunrise, let alone lie flat on his back in the grass. He supposed there was a first for everything, though.

A light breeze rustled the grass blades upon which he lay before quiet settled once more. He wondered briefly why he had never bothered to explore this particular hill before; vaguely he realized he never had a reason to. Sighing, he rested his hands behind his head, shifting his position slightly. The horizon now had a thin line of light pink traced across it, and for some reason it reminded him of the scent of cherry blossoms. His small frown was back, now, as he scanned the sky with coal-black orbs, listening to the calming sound of shifting leaves. This place was far different from Sound.

"I never took you for one to watch the sunrise," said a quiet voice from behind him. He didn't bother to look; he had sensed her approach long before she arrived.

He was mildly surprised when she lay down beside him, however, lacing her fingers on top of her stomach.

"It's peaceful over here," she said softly, as if afraid to disturb the quiet.

"Aa," he replied, voice just as soft.

The silence settled between them again, both watching the sky, lost in thought.

How she knew where to find him, he did not know. She was normally asleep for at least a few more hours; that's how it had been five years ago, at least. Subconsciously, he was glad for the company. For the second night in a row, his nightmares had been so terrible as to send him running from his apartment and into the cool night air. It was ironic, he thought, that however much he had pushed her away all those years ago, she was now the only person he allowed so close. As a matter of fact, if not for her he would have no respite from his now dull, empty life.

Funny, how things turn out sometimes.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Sakura closed her eyes against the pale light of morning, lack of sleep finally coaxing her beryl eyes shut.

"Why do you two even bother with me?"

His voice was still soft, a hint of curiosity seeping into his tone; she turned her head in his direction, a pale golden color bleeding into the sky above them.

"If we didn't, who would?" she asked quietly, a small, knowing smile gracing her features. Her response was silence, as she expected. Turning her head away, she observed the horizon once more, the soft beauty of morning reflected in her sparkling emerald orbs.

Again she found herself wondering why he didn't push her away as he had so many times before. It was so normal, even after all this time, that it felt strange to not have him constantly putting more distance between herself and his person. He had changed incomprehensibly over the years; the boy she had once claimed to love was either gone or buried in some far, unreachable corner of his heart. She sighed quietly, small frown etched upon her face. That repulsive question surfaced in her mind yet again.

_Do I still love him?_

No matter how many times she told herself that the answer was no and pushed the matter away, she still lost sleep over it. She had worked hard at keeping a tight rein on her emotions since he had left, and now that he was back they were scattering out of control like a bag of spilled marbles. She took another deep breath, sitting up and wrapping her arms around her knees as she watched the sun finally seep over the horizon, spilling crimson streaks of gold into the sky.

xXxXxXxXxXx

"Who found me?" he asked quietly, brow furrowed slightly in thought as the sun rose. She visibly stiffened at the question, seemingly deep in thought before his voice disturbed her.

"Naruto," came the soft response, barely audible. "He said it was easy to smell all the blood."

It seemed only fitting that Naruto had been the one to bring him back. After all the blonde's efforts, Sasuke couldn't help but wonder if he had gotten just what he wanted. Sure, Naruto had whisked him back to Konoha, as planned, but whether or not the azure-eyed shinobi had retrieved the person he was expecting was another matter entirely. He had changed, perhaps more so than his former teammates. Where once he was a revenge-bent boy, determined to reach his goals no matter what the cost, he now was an empty shell. Devoid of all emotions, even loathing, he had nothing to strive for. No goals to accomplish. Breath, warm blood, and a steady heartbeat were the only signs of life coming from his person.

He was no more than a ghost of what he had once been.

xXxXxXxXxXx

The sun had almost completely risen now, she noted; Sakura slowly pulled herself to her feet, giving one last glance to the red-orange sphere sitting atop the horizon before walking past him and up the hill.

"His exams should be finished by now," she called softly from the other side. She realized he wouldn't come to congratulate Naruto; she knew better than to expect that much from him. But she couldn't help but hope that it helped him feel more like a part of the team again to know what was going on.

Deep down, she knew that it really did.

xXxXxXxXxXx

"Is it even possible to eat that much?" muttered Sai from her right as Naruto gulped down what would be his sixteenth bowl of ramen. Sakura giggled, shaking her head knowingly. He was a jounin as of today—for once she wouldn't berate him for eating so much of his favorite food.

"Ne, Sakura-chan," said Naruto suddenly after a moment, lifting his head to look at her curiously. She blinked confusedly, cocking her head to the side slightly.

"Nani?" she asked.

"I think Sasuke-teme is getting impatient," he replied with a small grin. "That's the second time he's walked by."

The small smile that had been present since they had first sat down in Ichiraku slipped from her face for a spilt second, but she worked hard to get it plastered back up. She shook her head.

"This is more important," she said quietly, turning back to her food, though she had no intention of finishing her bowl any longer. She had seen him walk by the first time out of the corner of her eye, but had decided against running after him tonight; it was more important to sit with Naruto today. When he had gone past the stand for the second time, she thought she had been imagining things; that curious glance he had thrown her way had been made-up.

But Naruto had just confirmed her doubts.

"No," said Naruto with a small, sad smile as he fiddled with his chopsticks. "It really isn't." She studied him for a moment, uncertain, before standing and capturing him in a quick embrace.

"Congratulations, Naruto," she said softly, leaving her money on the table.

xXxXxXxXxXx

He watched curiously as she approached, viridian eyes glued to the stars. She took her seat silently, and he waited for her to speak, shifting his gaze to the constellations above them.

"He made it," she said softly after a moment. They were always quiet, as if afraid to scare the other off.

"Aa," he replied after a moment; a man of little words, as always.

The now-familiar silence settled around them again, though neither minded much; the quiet was as routine as their meeting spot.

Again, Sasuke got to wondering why he walked past that repulsive stand every night before coming to sit under this tree. He had told himself it was habitual, that every time he walked past it was because he didn't know any other way to get to this particular secluded street. He didn't stalk by with his hands in his pockets, eyes searching, to get a glimpse of shockingly pink hair or striking jade eyes. He walked past because it was the only way to reach his tree.

But if that was true, then why had he walked past twice?

He shifted his position slightly, brow furrowed as he switched his attention to the ever-shifting leaves above his head. Grudgingly, he realized that he was quickly running out of excuses for himself.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Sakura sighed, brow crinkling slightly as she, too, directed her sea-foam eyes at the rustling leaves, swaying in the warm breeze. She really should be with Naruto right now, not sitting here under this tree, cheer turned to pensiveness. Time and time again, against her will or not, he managed to coax her away from the blonde with no more than a swift glance in her direction. Again, she realized that she was swiftly reverting back to her old habits of tagging after him; perhaps this time she was a bit more malcontented to do so, though the fact gave her little consolation.

Why she continued to follow him after all the years of heartache and pain he had given her, she did not know. But she couldn't help but hope that she was, slowly but surely, working to soften his demeanor and melt the ice around his heart, if only a little bit. For so many years he had seemed so untouchable, like a cornered wolf ready to pounce. And now here he was, and where she hoped he would remain for some time, sitting beside her, as he had done almost every night since his return.

Another thing she didn't know: how they wound up under this damned tree every night. She supposed it was their unofficial meeting place; she stole comfort in the fact that he would wait for her every night, and she hoped against hope that he got some form of relief in the fact that at least one person in Konoha was still trying to reach for him. It still didn't explain why they had chosen this tree, why the spot didn't change each night. Sasuke would probably claim it was for the sake of convenience; that it would be cumbersome to change it when they both knew perfectly well where this tree was. She would go with something more far-fetched and romantic, saying the tree simply reminded each of them of the other, or some such nonsense that she knew was untrue. Sakura had to resist the urge to laugh at her musings, settling with a small smile instead.

It was soon gone, however, as her thoughts moved on to other matters.

She knew the reason why she came; as much as she didn't want to admit it, she was again striving for his attention, for any way to make herself a fixed part of his life. But why he came was still a mystery to her. Before she had brushed it off as coincidence when he walked past each night and just happened to glance up, catch her eye, and walk on. That he was just being polite when he didn't snap at her to leave him alone as she sat down beside him.

But the fact that he had walked past Ichiraku twice tonight only served to throw every excuse, every idea of why, exactly, he sat here with her each night, out the window. In the back of her mind something was shouting that he needed these late-night talks of theirs as much as she needed oxygen. She shook the thought away, however; Sasuke wasn't needy. Sasuke wasn't like her. Sasuke didn't need someone to talk to each night, if only to escape from every-day life for just a little longer.

That something in the back of her mind asked why he didn't walk away each night, then, as he used to all those years ago.

xXxXxXxXxXx

He decided that he sat here each night with her because of the nightmares.

Sasuke wasn't afraid of much—he had seen too much too soon and the end result was that he was frightened of virtually nothing.

Except the nightmares.

They were his worst enemy, ever-present, a constant reminder of the night he came home to his family slaughtered, the night his entire world was shattered.

And it really wasn't fair to her, for him to use her as an excuse to stay up, as a shield against a foe he could not defeat. Some far corner of his mind was asking what the point was, because he would just walk around the village aimlessly anyway, once she had departed.

He was, indeed, fast running out of excuses for himself.

He cursed his sharp mind for being so quick to pick up on things.

xXxXxXxXxXx

This place was awfully close to that bench, she realized with a start. Just over that fence she was now sitting across from, to the left, then down the only road: the road that led away from Konoha. The road that led to that place; the place where her thirteen-year-old existence had come to a complete standstill. Where Team 7, Team Kakashi, had ceased to exist, and where she had woken up, neck sore from a pressure point being hit, without even a simple goodbye.

Her thoughts drifted to something she had not thought about in a long, long time, but had robbed her of sleep for years after his departure.

"What did you mean?" she asked softly, only just realizing that her cheeks were wet with silent tears. She could feel his confused gaze upon her, onyx orbs searching her face. "When you thanked me."

She closed her eyes, willing the tears to stop. She wasn't getting much of a reward for her efforts; they only seemed to slow on their steady path down her face. She was thankful when his eyes left her face, probably scrutinizing the fence as he did when she asked him a particularly vexing question.

He knew what she was referring to, that much she was sure of. Whether or not he knew the answer was another matter entirely. It had been quite some time; it would only make sense if he didn't remember what, exactly, he had meant when he had thanked her that night. But that didn't matter to her, at the moment. She would sit here all night waiting for him to answer, if she had to. There was nothing better to do, and she wanted—needed—to know, if only to get a decent night's sleep tonight.

What she didn't expect was for his lips to lightly brush hers, breaking her from her reverie. Her eyes snapped open, but he was already walking down the road. A hand flew to her slightly open mouth, fingers gingerly touching her lips, beryl orbs wide in disbelief.

"For caring," he called softly, not bothering to turn in her direction.

It wasn't a particularly cold night, so she really had no clue why there were chills running down her spine.

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**I still don't know if I like this chapter, especially the end. Again, it's late. We'll see how I feel in the morning, I guess. XD**

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**Ja ne!  
****_Dani-chan_**


	6. Do I?

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, because if I did, you would be watching stick figures poke each other. **

**I'm actually fairly happy with the way this chapter turned out, but you'll have to tell me what you think. :P**

**And I use semicolons entirely too much; I think so, anyway.**

**ANYWAY. Chapters will probably be a bit more delayed for the next nine weeks, I'm afraid. I was on break this past week, and on Monday school's starting up again. Oh, joy. I can't wait.**

**OH! I almost forgot! COMPLEMENTARY UNICORNS FOR ALL:D**

**Special Thanks:  
****Sakura Uchhia, Soporific, YoungSasuke, Brandy Camel, Confuzzled239, kyubiluver, kazumi kyoshira, hushhushyou, Crystal Koneko, Slytherin Kunoichi, Hanyue-Chan, icygirl2, graviola, Zelha, Kineticfairy, runwithskizzers, animevivverz, liandrin, Soporific, Sasuke's Agony, mentally unstable X3, Kuro Chocobo, Chikata, curiousbrain, Kimyuri, little miss pissed off, FaitaGirl, Psyche-Wing, Marisa, Sya0ran, nejitenlee13, Sabrielle, Denied Love, emmamoonpotter**

**ESPECIALLY:  
**graviola**, because your reviews always make me smile the most. And choke on my coffee. But whatev. XD  
**Soporific**, because I appreciate your input always. It's always nice to get critiques with compliments. :)**

**Acknowledgements:  
**Soporific**: Ahaha…thank you much. I appreciate the constructive criticism; I wasn't sure if I was fond of the end of that chapter, and I'm still not. And I love long reviews…they make me feel all warm and fuzzily inside. XD  
**graviola**: I'm sorry you didn't want your unicorn…I'll take it, though. I mean, come on…it's like a horse! But improved! Hehe…anyway. I was beginning to think I was alone in the whole anti-Uchihacest thing, too. Good to know I'm not a loner. XD  
**Zelha**: I'm afraid I can't give you a dragon instead of a unicorn, but I'm sure you can work something out with the folks at your friendly neighborhood black market if you try hard enough. :P  
**runwithskizzers**: Luckily for you, the unicorns can change to whatever color you want. :P They come in white, though…pink is a bit too over the top on the girliness scale…**

**I appreciate all your reviews like MAD. You seriously have no idea how happy it makes me when I get a new review. So keep me smiling or no more ficcy for you, you hoodlums!**

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**_Chapter Six: Do I?_**

He was at a loss as to why he had done such a thing.

It had just seemed fitting; he had left her without so much as a goodbye, and actions had always been better than words in his book. He supposed he meant it as more of a token of his gratitude than anything, but his thoughts were still in relative turmoil.

He decided to blame that troublesome corner of his mind.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Sakura couldn't recall how, exactly, she had gotten into her house. She couldn't even remember moving from beneath that tree. For a moment she imagined that it had all been a dream, but the feeling was too real.

She took a shaky breath, sitting up and looking out the window. She had been working for five long years to let go and move on, but now all of the carefully placed bricks were crumbling to dust.

_Do I still love him?_

She told herself the answer was no for the umpteenth time. She didn't love him, and she never wanted to again. He had caused her too much grief, shattered the lives of too many of her precious people. And while she couldn't blame him for what he did, because it had been something he had to do, she wouldn't forgive him, either. Nothing he did could fix the damage that had been done, to himself and the citizens of Konoha.

But that tiny, microscopic voice in her head that she had tried so hard to keep under lock and key since he had left kept asking her why she didn't just desert him like every other person in Konoha had, if that was the case.

"Because if I didn't care about my comrades, I'd be worse than trash."

Against herself, a small smile tugged at the corner of her mouth; she decided she didn't like the taste of scalene very much.

xXxXxXxXxXx

He always thought better under his tree, though he wasn't exactly sure why.

Sasuke leaned his head back against the trunk, closing his eyes; for some reason, he doubted it would be of much help to him tonight.

"What'd you do this time, teme?" yawned a rather recognizable voice from the fence. Sasuke opened his eyes, glancing over at the azure-eyed shinobi who was now looking at him quizzically, albeit tiredly.

Unsure of how he should respond, he settled on silence, as he often did, closing his eyes once more. Naruto sighed.

"She's at the training grounds," he said through another yawn. "You might wanna go to talk to her before she…" He trailed off, looking to his right as a loud snap was heard. Sasuke followed suit, in time to see a tree collapse onto its side in a cloud of dust. He blinked. Surely…

"Never mind," said Naruto, a small smile finding its way to his lips as he chuckled.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Her shoulders heaved, lungs trying to take in as much oxygen as humanly possible, and she fell back onto the grass, watching the stars as the sky lightened and, one by one, they snuffed out in the increasing brightness. After a moment her emerald eyes closed, breathing still relatively harsh. She couldn't remember the last time she had actually felled a tree while just training, let alone one that tall. She placed the back of a gloved hand over her eyes, trying to block out the dim light of dawn.

The tears she had shed, and was currently trying not to shed, had not been out of sadness or happiness, but frustration. After all her years of trying to convince herself that she felt nothing but sympathy for him, her resolve was finally breaking down again.

"Kuso," she breathed, clenching her teeth.

She took a deep breath, removing the hand over her eyes and opening her viridian orbs; she stared blankly at the lightening sky above, somber expression upon her face, breathing still slightly labored.

"You've changed," said that all-too-familiar voice from her left. She didn't bother to look in his direction; he hadn't concealed his presence from her on the way here.

"So have you," she replied softly.

xXxXxXxXxXx

He leaned against a tree nearby, regarding the damage she had done with curious eyes. There were quite a few craters in the earth; he couldn't help but wonder with a hint of amusement if she had made them with her little finger.

His obsidian orbs came to rest on her figure, and he wondered at how someone who looked like she did could possibly cause all this devastation to such a large area. He realized with mild surprise that there were a lot of things he didn't know when it came to her. She was a puzzle, as far as he was concerned. While he could read her emotions, he couldn't read her thoughts, and she confused him more than anyone or anything he had seen in his life. She was paradoxical, in that she looked so frail but held more strength than most people gave her credit for.

He realized that for a long time he had been one of those people.

Which brought him back to one of the most fundamental questions he often asked himself, but pushed away before he could brood over it: what was she to him?

They most certainly weren't comrades; he had left both her and Naruto behind long ago in search of power, and while they had mostly welcomed him back with open arms, he still wasn't comfortable thinking of them as teammates. Not anymore, at least.

They weren't friends; the closest Sasuke had ever had to a friend was Naruto, and that had been more of a rivalry than a friendship, not to mention the fact that it had been five years ago.

He supposed that the relationship they had, if it could be called a relationship at all, was undefined. There was no name for late-night conversations and watching the sunrise. They were simply…they. She was the only one who made any regular attempts to keep him connected to the village he had once called home. She was a constant; she always had been, and he hoped, against himself, that she always would be.

But when it came to what role he played, he was at a loss. He did nothing for her, and it suddenly struck him what a remarkable person she had to be to give so much, only to get nothing back.

He just couldn't understand how anyone, especially someone like her, could ever want to do anything for him, even something as simple as a conversation.

Some small corner of his mind realized that he had known what kind of person she was since square one, and his actions steadily started to make more sense, if only a little.

xXxXxXxXxXx

"You confuse me to no end; I hope you know that." She was surprised that she could form a coherent sentence, her throat was so tight.

"Aa," he replied after a moment, almost regretfully.

She didn't press for more than that, because she knew she wouldn't get anything better. Smothering the tiny, hopeful voice in the back of her head that was busily trying to come up with an explanation for what happened last night, she realized that he probably had no more of a justification for his actions than she did. If he had calculated which steps to take, he would stay for the end result. The fact that he had walked away only served to prove that he was as surprised by the incident as she.

She also realized that, where once she was simply trying to sort through the myriad emotions she was feeling, she was now struggling to stay afloat in a vast ocean of confusion, anger, love, and frustration.

Confusion, she believed, reigned supreme in the never-ending abyss she was drowning in. There were so many questions he seemed to stir to the surface of her mind. Why did he not push her away as he had all those years ago? Why did she sit with him each night? Why did he wait for her? Why had he left them? Why couldn't he have stayed to become stronger? She told herself the answers would come to her in due time, but deep down she wasn't really sure.

There was anger present, as well, constantly nipping at the back of her mind like an icy dagger. Anger for all of the pain he had caused her, caused everyone. Anger borne from her confusion. Anger towards him for being such an insensitive bastard, for ignoring her all those years ago, and anger for leaving everyone who cared about him behind.

But despite all that, despite all of the confusion and anger she harbored towards him, she knew that somewhere, in a small corner of her heart, she still held some form of love for him. She didn't like it, and she most certainly didn't want it, but she knew it was there, locked away in the deepest recess she could find for it.

And because of that little cage she held inside, she was frustrated. Frustrated with him for weakening her resolve to keep those emotions locked away, but mostly…she was frustrated with herself. Frustrated with herself for letting him, for not bothering to pull the plug before this ocean she was now struggling in grew too deep.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Her eyes were like a window to her soul. They told him everything, conveyed every emotion with perfect and complete clarity.

She was hurt, frustrated, and confused. He found it amusing, with his twisted sense of humor, that confusion was always the most obvious thing in those emerald orbs when she was around him. He wondered vaguely if he was really that vexing of a person. Only to her, he realized with a small frown. Only to Sakura could he be such an exasperating enigma, because she was the only one who cared enough to mull over it.

Again he was struck by how remarkable the girl before him was. They were opposites in almost every respect. While she worked on a day-to-day basis to save the lives of people she didn't even know, his entire existence had been based upon the hope of one day taking away his brother's last breath. She was cheery and full of smiles that could brighten anyone's day, while he said little and had not laughed wholeheartedly since his childhood.

If she were day, he would be the night; darkness and light, sun and moon. Pick any pair of adverse words, and it would describe them perfectly.

"I don't deserve your company."

Her head turned in his direction, brows creased lightly. Confusion, once again, was the most apparent emotion in her sea-foam eyes, he noted dully.

He had a knack for confusing people, he supposed.

She wasn't sure how to respond to the statement, so she just looked at him. He didn't seem to be awaiting her words, so she saw no need to give them. Where his proclamation had come from, she did not know. She didn't know a lot of things lately, it seemed, she realized dryly.

Yet there he went again, confusing her to no end, to his indifference or not.

"But I deserve yours."

She received a small, almost bitter, smirk, and turned her head away, entranced with the golden-violet color of the sky.

And she realized that she really did deserve it. After everything he had done, after all the heartache he had given her, all the sorrow, all the pain, she at least deserved his damned company. The least he could do is sit with her for a few hours, maybe give her a few explanations if he was feeling particularly adventurous.

She took a breath, and all of her anger drifted away on the wind as she let it out.

Suddenly the ocean she was drowning in seemed a little less vast.

xXxXxXxXxXx

It wasn't his place to stay, or take the company she was offering.

But he did it anyway, because he knew that without her to sit with him each night he would be at a loss as to what he should do with himself. He still was, but a year within the same walls seemed much more manageable when he wasn't completely alone; he had learned long ago that loneliness was even worse than the nightmares.

He sighed, leaning his head against the trunk of the tree he was currently sitting beneath, watching the leaves shift above him. She was his daily respite from an otherwise dull and tedious life, the only thing keeping him from going mad with the sameness of it all.

Why she would ever consider caring for, or even talking to, someone like himself was beyond his comprehension. She had friends and family that loved her and weren't afraid to show it, yet she always took time out of her day to sit with him, a brooding enigma that seemed to confuse her more than anything. And she must be getting something out of it, he realized, otherwise she wouldn't keep coming back. But exactly what she took away from each one of their conversations—if you could even call them conversations—he did not know.

Was it really worth her while, to just sit with him? What could possibly make her want to keep coming back, despite everything he had done to her in the past?

He really didn't deserve her company, her attention. Not in the least; but as long as she was offering, he would take it.

Because she was the only thing keeping him sane.

xXxXxXxXxXx

She found herself wondering how he had known where to find her; vaguely, she realized she didn't really care. He was here now, and that was all that really mattered to her at the moment. He was here, she wasn't alone, and though he was stirring up the feelings and sensations she had for so long tried to keep at bay, she found that she was minding less and less.

She closed her eyes, listening as the forest awoke with the rising sun. He confused her to no end. Then again…she supposed he always had. Everything about him was a puzzle in itself; but Sakura had always enjoyed solving puzzles, especially the particularly challenging ones.

A sigh escaped her as she lay there, staring blankly at the sky once more.

_Do I still love him?_

Deep down, in that small corner of her heart where she kept her most powerful emotions, she knew that the answer was yes.

xXxXxXxXxXxxXxXxXxXxXxxXxXxXxXxXx

**Submit Review can't seem to find his left sock…click Go to help him before the tea party. :)**

**Ja ne!  
_Dani-chan_**


	7. No Harm Done

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, because if I did, you would be watching stick figures poke each other. **

**Bwah. Sorry this chapter is a bit late; life has been a bitch these past few weeks. But then, that's life's job, isn't it? XD**

**But yeah…one of my friends was in the hospital with a concussion and temporary amnesia after some guys beat him up. He's okay now, but I'm sorry if this chapter isn't as good as it could be. That's the reason.**

**Anyway! Thanks to all of you who helped Submit Review-chan find his sock. He appreciates it, and he was only five minutes late for the tea party. :)**

**Special Thanks:  
****Sakura Uchhia, Soporific, YoungSasuke, Brandy Camel, Confuzzled239, kyubiluver, kazumi kyoshira, hushhushyou, Crystal Koneko, Slytherin Kunoichi, Hanyue-Chan, icygirl2, graviola, Zelha, Kineticfairy, runwithskizzers, animevivverz, liandrin, Soporific, Sasuke's Agony, mentally unstable X3, Kuro Chocobo, Chikata, curiousbrain, Kimyuri, little miss pissed off, FaitaGirl, Psyche-Wing, Marisa, Sya0ran, nejitenlee13, Sabrielle, Denied Love, emmamoonpotter, Sagitarious Devil, cottoncandyskies**

**ESPECIALLY:  
**graviola**, because no matter what kind of a shitty mood I'm in, your reviews always make me laugh. Your brain is, indeed, too powerful to be contained.  
**Soporific**, because I appreciate the time you take to write those beautifully long reviews and tell me what I'm doing that you like. Or don't like. Yay, constructive criticism. XD**

**Acknowledgements:  
**Kuro Chocobo**: Hehe, don't feel bad about the lack of creativity. Just the fact that you reviewed is good enough for little Dani-chan. XD  
**Soporific**: Of COURSE your name is in all three sections…you're a fantabulous author and I'm jealous of your vocabulary. If that isn't reason enough to be in all three categories, I don't know what is. Unless you don't intend to set out cookies for Santa on Christmas. In which case I will be forced to stab you in the jaw. :D  
graviola: Aw, you type in English just for little old me? How sweet. XD As far as the relationship development thing goes…I really don't know what I'm gonna do. As I've said before, I sit down and write each chapter without so much as a simple idea of which direction I'm going in. I just…write, because that's my thing. Yay, spontaneity. XD  
**Sagitarious Devil**: Ah…I feel so dense. XD Sorry about the mix up with chapter five and six…it's all better now. XD**

**Keep reviewing! I love reviews. L-O-V-E. Or, as Celine Dion would say, lurve. :)**

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**_Chapter Seven: No Harm Done_**

She had walked past him some time ago, and the sun had long since risen, but he remained as he was, pensive.

He was reluctant to leave this spot; as much as he tried to remain impassive, the constant murmur of 'snake' and 'traitor' was starting to get under his skin.

Sasuke heaved a sigh, leaning his head against the cool bark behind him. He couldn't stay here forever, he supposed. He had a few more demeaning tasks to take care of today.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Hours at the hospital were tediously long and remarkably arduous, especially considering she had, once again, gotten no sleep the previous night. She couldn't fathom how Sasuke could get by on one or two hours of rest here and there.

She washed her hands for what seemed the millionth time that day, watching as crimson fluid slid from her ivory flesh with fascination. Scarlet, just like his eyes.

She shook herself back into awareness, drying her fingers; glancing at the clock, she heaved a sigh. Three more hours.

How she was going to get by when fatigue was preventing her from even standing with ease, she did not know.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Training was the only thing that made his body feel less useless.

And so he trained, moving with a fluid grace and speed that was only achievable by him. His muscles and techniques had already fulfilled their purpose, so he really wasn't certain why he still bothered honing them further.

It was habit, he told himself. Habit was what kept him training until his limbs ached and his body was slick with perspiration.

But really, he wasn't so sure.

That troublesome corner of his mind that had been giving him so much trouble lately was screaming that he was desperately trying to fill the void in his chest that had formed once his goal had been accomplished. It said that he was looking for something, anything, to aim for, because without a goal he was just an empty shell.

Sasuke pushed himself further, moved faster.

He really needed to find something to do; before he hurt himself.

xXxXxXxXxXx

"Sakura-chan, you shouldn't work so hard," chuckled Naruto as he carried her home on his back.

"If I didn't work so hard, everyone would die, you baka," she mumbled, closing her eyes. Oh, how she ached. Naruto sighed.

"Then maybe you shouldn't stay up all night with the teme," he said with a grin. She opened her eyes, brow furrowing, as she looked in his direction. He didn't meet her gaze.

"Well, maybe it's all that ramen you force me to eat that's making me so tired," she said with a small smile, eyes drifting shut again. Even so much as a giggle was beyond her tired body, now.

"Either way, we'd better hurry or you'll be late," said Naruto with a mischievous grin. She frowned, opening her eyes once more.

"Late for what?" she asked. He looked at her, grin spreading.

"For the teme, baka," he chuckled.

xXxXxXxXxXx

She had seemed utterly exhausted when she had left the hospital, which explained why Naruto had been carrying her away from Ichiraku earlier than usual.

He found it mildly amusing that he was still surprised every time he saw them together. Years ago it would have been unthinkable for Naruto to even touch Sakura, and now he was carrying her home as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

He also found it amusing that he was still surprised the most by the two people he used to know like the back of his hand.

His brows furrowed slightly as he realized that they had all come to accept one another more than when they were teammates. Sakura used to push Naruto away as if he had some fatal disease, and he would do much the same to her. But now, for the most part, they were closer than they had ever been. They may not know each other as well as they used to, but the three of them were at least comfortable around one another. To an extent, at least.

Sasuke sighed, watching as Sakura rested her head on Naruto's shoulder, looking ready to pass out. He wouldn't blame her if she didn't come tonight; she needed sleep.

Maybe he would wait anyway. Just for a little bit.

xXxXxXxXxXx

She looked at herself in the mirror, small frown upon her face; her eyes were tired.

Tired in the sense that she had not gotten any decent sleep since around an hour ago when Naruto had deposited her gently on her bed, yes, but tired also in another way. Tired like the eyes of an old woman, one that has lived far too long and knows far too much. She closed her beryl orbs, sighing gently.

The hospital made reality seem so much more vibrant. Giving bad news was almost worse than receiving it, and no matter how hard she tried, the sobs of those once held dear never completely faded away. Life was so fragile; so easily snuffed out.

Oh, how she envied him, to be able to erect such thick walls of apathy around his icy heart.

She sighed again, pushing the pink tresses away from her eyes and peering at her reflection once more. She recalled a time when she used to twirl around before the mirror for hours, working out any flaws in her appearance. Now she sat in front of her clone just to see how much she had changed.

No matter how many minutes she stood here, she still found something new each and every time.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Sasuke had waited much longer than he intended to, but she had eventually come. Some part of him knew that she would, even if she had to drag herself here.

She took her seat beside him, not too close, but not too far, and gazed at the stars winking down at them. Silence settled between the two, as it often did, and his eyes returned to the swaying leaves rustling above.

"Three years ago…when we found you…"

She seemed uncertain as to how she should continue. She lowered her head, scrutinizing the fence across from her, small frown in place; he knew what she was referring to: the day when the newly formed Team Kakashi had tried to retrieve him. They had been fifteen.

"…were you really prepared to kill us? Kill Naruto?"

His breathing froze for a minute; his heart skipped a beat.

Slowly, he turned to look at her carefully, face as apathetic as it had been on the day she spoke of. When she didn't meet his gaze, he, too, turned to the fence for inspiration, as he often did when she asked him questions that required careful thought.

He remembered the events of that day; he had replayed them in his head often enough for three years after. He had claimed that he was ready to kill Naruto on nothing more than a whim. He had been prepared to attack Sakura.

But, given the chance, would he really have killed either of them? Or was it Orochimaru's twisted way thinking that had been instilled upon him?

At the moment, he honestly didn't know.

xXxXxXxXxXx

She was frightened that he was taking so long to answer the question. Normally, he would process her inquiry for a minute or so; usually, she could hold her breath easily in the time it took him to respond.

But she had let out the air in her lungs long ago.

Did that mean that he really had been prepared to kill them, as he had his brother? Was he just looking for a gentle way to tell her that yes, he was ready to kill them, and he would have if Orochimaru had not interrupted?

She bit her lip hard, preparing herself for the answer she thought for certain was going to come.

And she realized that he really had seemed ready. He was so apathetic, even when delivering an insult. There was no cocky smirk, no irritated tense of the jaw when he was blocked; just an emotionless face with eyes that both frightened and captivated her at the same time. So empty, so lonely, so desperate—though he would never admit it. There was nothing about his stance and tone that hinted he was even slightly bothered by the fact that he was using his most deadly attacks against former teammates.

His entire presence had held the serenity of a killer.

And it wasn't even serenity—it was apathy. And that was what hurt the most; he had looked as if he hadn't a care in the world that he had almost plunged his sword into Naruto's gut, or almost stabbed her in the shoulder rather than Yamato. As if it was none of his concern when his Chidori Nagashi paralyzed Sai and Naruto.

It hurt her, more than anything he had said or done in the past, to think that he may have actually been prepared to kill all of them, then and there, without a second thought.

"Iie."

By the time she processed the response, he was already around the corner and out of her sight.

xXxXxXxXxXx

He ran his fingers through his raven hair agitatedly.

It was irritating, to him, that she could perturb him so much with nothing more than a simple question or two. He wondered sarcastically if she had a plan of action that she executed each night.

Sasuke sighed heavily, slipping his hands into his pockets and glaring at the stars above him. He suddenly came to the realization that she managed to get under his skin so much because he let her. She stirred his thoughts into action because he allowed her to ask him her silly questions. His frown deepened.

As usual, he got to wondering about why she continued to sit with him each night. They rarely spoke; all she ever did was ask him questions, and he gave her the shortest answers he could. But why she kept coming back each night was beyond his comprehension. One of them always wound up walking away from the other. There were no words of gratitude, no goodbyes exchanged.

But then…between them, there had never really been any goodbyes.

xXxXxXxXxXx

For someone who had literally passed out on her bed just a few hours before, she most definitely was not tired anymore. It was odd, the way things worked out sometimes.

She watched curiously as he walked by her house; tonight, however, there was a scowl of confusion upon his face. She supposed she should take that as a good thing. Progress was being made.

Why she referred to it as 'progress,' she really didn't know. She wasn't progressing anywhere with him. Everything stayed the same, besides the fact that she was losing sleep. And that in itself didn't seem like progression to her.

But the fact that she had successfully gotten him thinking was progress, she thought. Because Sasuke had never taken any of the words she said to heart before their late-night conversations, and now it seemed he finally thought she had something worthwhile to say. And though she hated to admit it, it felt good to know that he was finally acknowledging her as something more than a hindrance that needed to be protected because it was too weak to fend for itself.

A sigh escaped her as she lost sight of him around the street corner; she gently slid off the bed and into her shoes.

She would go to work late tomorrow, if need be.

xXxXxXxXxXx

He was bewildered when she lay down to watch the sunrise with him.

Her eyes showed the exhaustion that she was obviously not feeling, and from the way that she wearily sank down onto the grass he could tell she hadn't even laid down since he had walked away hours before.

But he didn't press her, or shun her away, because she was offering her company yet again. And he would take it, even though he knew he didn't deserve it, because she was giving it to him.

A sigh slipped past her lips as the sky turned the familiar pink color, and she closed her viridian orbs.

How she could possibly seem so content and at ease around him, he hadn't a clue. He had lived for so long in an atmosphere of fearful respect, for him and his goals, that it seemed strange to him for anyone to be remotely calm in his presence. He had killed his own kin, and yet she had no trouble lying so close and unarmed beside him. Vaguely, he wondered if she was so trusting because he had once been her teammate, or because she was still as naïve as she had been.

He decided it was the former, because Sakura was anything but naïve. He had known since he woke up in the hospital bed that she knew more than she should for her age, had seen too much. She held more wisdom than anything, he could tell just from the way she carried herself and spoke. She wasn't thirteen anymore. She had proven that with all their late-night conversations.

She had gained his respect, as a person and as a kunoichi.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Sakura wondered briefly if he had refrained from saying yes because he could sense how frightened she was. Though her mind was sluggish from exhaustion, that didn't keep it from shouting out all her insecurities.

The sensible part of her mind argued that if Sasuke really had been ready, there was nothing stopping him from telling her so. He had been honest with her so far, why would he suddenly start lying? It had been three years ago; that day was in the past, now, even though it was still drilled quite clearly into her skull.

She took a gentle breath, listening to the comforting sounds of morning.

Her tired mind got to wondering about things she normally wouldn't bother with, such as their relationship. Did they even really have one? Could their late-night conversations really be classified as a relationship?

They weren't friends, and they most certainly weren't lovers; they weren't teammates anymore, and the two of them seemed to confuse each other more than anything. She prompted his thoughts, and he, in return, sat with her for an hour or two each day. Whether it was a fair trade or not, she had yet to figure out, but to her, every day he remained in Konoha was an accomplishment. Every night he did not shun her away was progress, every question he answered took her a step closer to her goal of chiseling away at the solid rock that had formed around his heart.

They were controversial, in that they were complete opposites but knew just what to say to make the other think. And they were pretty damn good at making each other think, she realized with a hint of twisted amusement.

As different as they were, they just seemed to fit—like the pieces of a puzzle. She helped ease the burden that loneliness had so kindly dumped on his shoulders, and he made her feel useful.

It was rather ironic, she thought, that she worked in a hospital, saving lives on a regular basis, yet he was the only patient whom she could walk away from with relative satisfaction.

It was also ironic, she realized, that, however much he had pushed her away when they were younger, sitting beside him seemed so natural to her now. Which brought her back to the question of why, exactly, he didn't push her away any longer. For all of the solitude he had wanted five years ago, it seemed that the lack of people without ill intent had finally gotten to him. And though it was so incredibly unlike him, she couldn't help but hope—pray, even—that she was a comfort to him in some way or another. Whether she was just a buffer to the loneliness or a reason to stay up longer, she really didn't care anymore. As long as she held some form of purpose in his life, she was okay.

She listened to the steady sound of his breathing, smiling softly.

So he did get tired, after all.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Sasuke couldn't recall the last time he awoke without provocation from the nightmares. Nor, he realized, could he remember the last time he awoke while the sun was in the sky.

He sat up, brow furrowed slightly at the golden globe of light hanging in the pale, blue-grey abyss above. His gaze shifted to the still-sleeping form beside him, observing her peaceful features for a moment. How she managed to stay asleep with the sunlight beating on her eyelids like that, he hadn't the slightest notion.

Lying back down, he frowned at the clouds lazily drifting past. He contemplated waking her up, but then he remembered how utterly exhausted she had seemed just hours before. No, he would let her sleep for now.

Next, he thought about leaving, but somehow he couldn't bring his limbs to move. He told himself that he had left her many times before when they sat together, that it didn't matter, but this time it just seemed different. She was asleep; it was too much like that time five years ago, and he couldn't bear forcing her to relive memories like that, because he didn't know what he would do with himself if she didn't sit with him that night. Or rather, that was the reason he made up for himself.

He sighed, closing his eyes.

Laying here for a few more hours wouldn't hurt anyone.

XXxXxXxXxXxxXxXxXxXxXxxXxXxXxXxXx

**Submit Review is looking for a way to spice up his life. Maybe you can help by clicking Go. :D**

**Ja ne!  
****_Dani-chan_**


	8. Satisfaction

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, because if I did, you would be watching stick figures poke each other. **

**HOLY SHIT. This chapter is on time. That's insane, especially considering I have had the biggest case of writer's block I've ever had this past week. As a matter of fact, all of this chapter was written today. My fingers are starting to cramp up.**

**In other news, I'm not sure if I'm entirely happy with this chapter. But meh. I'm rather tired, so I'll reread it again later. XD**

**Special Thanks:  
Sakura Uchhia, Soporific, YoungSasuke, Brandy Camel, Confuzzled239, kyubiluver, kazumi kyoshira, hushhushyou, Crystal Koneko, Slytherin Kunoichi, Hanyue-Chan, icygirl2, graviola, Zelha, Kineticfairy, runwithskizzers, animevivverz, liandrin, Soporific, Sasuke's Agony, mentally unstable X3, Kuro Chocobo, Chikata, curiousbrain, Kimyuri, little miss pissed off, FaitaGirl, Psyche-Wing, Marisa, Sya0ran, nejitenlee13, Sabrielle, Denied Love, emmamoonpotter, Sagitarious Devil, cottoncandyskies, Only Secret, MidnightRosebud, jaishe, une see, MeMe**

**ESPECIALLY:  
**Soporific**, because your wonderfully long reviews make me smile no matter how much of a bitch life is being.  
**graviola**, because your reviews can always manage to work a chuckle out of me. Oh, yes, I let a chortle or two escape me.**

**Acknowledgements:  
**cottoncandyskies**: Aaaah, tahnk you for that wondrously long review. XD And Submit Review certainly appreciates your help. P  
**Kineticfairy**: The unicorn is on his way…I swear… -hides under bed inconspicuously-  
**icygirl2**: As far as the relationship between Sasuke and Sakura, things are probably going to progress relatively slowly. Sasuke is Sasuke, after all. XD There will be other interactions with Naruto, but I don't know if he'll ever take the main stage. For some reason I always have difficulty writing Naruto. Others…humm…I'm not entirely sure. Maybe, maybe not. We'll see where this story takes me. XD Action scenes…probably not. XD I'm afraid I'm terrible at writing action scenes.  
une see: You most certainly did. XD And Submit Review-chan's, too.  
**Brandy Camel**: Aw…your review made me smile. Thank you much. :)  
**MidnightRosebud**: Ah, thank you much. Submit Review-chan says thanks, too. :P**  
Soporific**: I love you. XD Haha, and I have had a talk with Santa recently. I used to work with Dasher, so I think I can pull a few strings. ;P**

**Review, and someday you, too, can be like Estaban—err…I mean…**

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**_Chapter Eight: Satisfaction_**

It was remarkable, really, how quickly time could pass when one was not weighed down by fatigue and lack of sleep.

Sakura took a deep breath of the crisp evening air as she walked slowly home, hands clasped loosely behind her back. The sharp, sterile scent of hospital still clung to her clothing, but she didn't mind much. Hours of toil within the blindingly white linoleum walls had adjusted her nose to the smell.

She sighed, switching her gaze to darkening sky above. The sun was scarcely above the horizon, now, bathing the village in a strange purple-blue light; it wouldn't be long before the surreal orb disappeared entirely.

Upon entering her house, she changed into a fresh set of clothes, setting out for Ichiraku; Naruto would be waiting for her by now.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Vaguely, he wondered if she would even bother to come if he didn't walk by that stand every night.

Was it just the provocation of his glance that willed her to walk away? If that was the case, then it really wasn't fair to her, for him to coax her from the blonde each night. He wondered what she would do if he didn't stalk past Ichiraku. Would she panic? Go home?

He supposed he would have to find out another night, as he was already throwing her a curious look from across the street.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Naruto never questioned why she left each night, and he never complained.

Nonetheless, Sakura always felt a little bad after she fled from the ramen stand. It had been so routine for them to sit together each night; granted, they had always gone their separate ways after eating together, but it felt wrong to leave him there alone. She made a mental note to make it up to him as soon as possible, approaching Sasuke and taking her seat.

She closed her emerald eyes, taking a breath.

She was suddenly struck by how odd they must look to anyone walking by. Not that anyone would, because this street was one of the most desolate in Konoha, but what a sight they would be, nevertheless. She, with her shockingly pink hair and cheerful clothing, sitting next to a tall, brooding boy in black. What a stunning contrast.

She sighed, leaning her head back against the tree's trunk.

"Why do you wait here every night?" she asked softly. She felt his eyes on her face again, studying her carefully.

"Why do you come?" he replied after a moment, voice just as soft.

A small smile found its way to her lips.

"Because Naruto's too lazy."

She could sense his smirk without even opening her eyes.

But still, she was a bit disappointed that he didn't answer. Why he waited was as much of a mystery to her as it had been before, and judging from the silence that had settled again, it would be for some time. Another sigh slipped past her lips; she opened her eyes, staring at the ebony expanse above them.

"Are you satisfied?" she asked quietly.

xXxXxXxXxXx

He was sure she saw him stiffen from the corner of her eye.

Sasuke's brow furrowed slightly, gaze shifting to the fence across from him. Again, he wondered at how she managed to get under his skin so much with no more than a simple question.

But when he got to thinking about it, he wondered if he was really satisfied. His goal had been accomplished, so of course that brought him some form of satisfaction, but in the end he wound up more lost than anything. The loss of purpose to fulfill made him feel awkwardly lacking and rather empty; with nothing to strive for, it almost felt as if he was standing still as the entire world passed him by.

He blinked, small frown adorning his normally cool features.

Suddenly, he was struck with the odd realization that where once he had been the only survivor of the Uchiha massacre, he was now the only Uchiha left.

To say that he felt more alone than he had in years was an understatement.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Sakura took his long silence as a careful attempt at sorting through his inner turmoil.

Secretly, she didn't think he would have much success.

"You rid the world of a terrible man," she spoke suddenly, the words slipping out of her mouth before she realized she intended to speak them. "You should be satisfied."

He looked at her as if she were a stranger.

She turned her head, jade meeting obsidian.

"The end result might have been a little shitty, but you're alive." She gave him a small smile, gaze returning to the sky. He stared at her for a long time, uncertain, before continuing to study the fence carefully.

"You said I killed him for all the wrong reasons."

So he really had been listening to her; she let a little pride bubble to the surface. Knowing that he actually remembered each of their conversations made every night they spent together seem a little less pointless.

"You did."

Now, it would seem, she was the one confusing him. Sakura suppressed a smile as his brow creased further, staring at the fence with an intensity only seen in battle; it was a marvel they hadn't walked away from each other yet.

"Then why…" He trailed off, seemingly unsure of how to continue the question. But she understood, because all her years of trailing after him had helped her to comprehend the questions he wished to ask without him even asking.

"Because he deserved to die."

His eyes did not leave the fence across from him, and so she waited for him to speak.

xXxXxXxXxXx

With his twisted sense of humor, he had no trouble being amused at how long it was taking him to answer her question.

Was he satisfied?

Part of him was saying yes, but the sensible part of his mind knew that the answer was no. He wasn't satisfied. His brother's death had left him feeling empty, alone, and colder than ever. Sasuke came to the realization that he had never been satisfied, not since childhood. He was always a step behind; he had grown up too fast, shoulders weighted down with the expectations of everyone in the damned village. Satisfaction was something he had rarely experienced during the past eighteen years of his existence. Years of being the best had made him cold, antisocial, and arrogant. Even he knew that much about himself.

And Itachi's death hadn't done anything that he expected it to do. He was supposed to feel empowered, strong; he was supposed to feel at ease. Satisfaction should be in his grasp at last. But it wasn't, and he knew that it wasn't.

Again, his brother had deprived him of everything he wanted.

Sasuke clenched his jaw.

Suddenly, he felt as if all those years with Orochimaru had been a terrible waste; every technique learned, every muscle honed, all if it was a waste. Because in the end, for all of his skill and speed and strength, he had not gotten anything that he wanted out of it. His brother's life had come to a close; his goal had been accomplished.

But it had been for all the wrong reasons.

He had killed Itachi because he hated him, not because he was a vile man and deserved to die.

Though he had deserved to die. He had been a terrible menace, and his death meant one less member of Akatsuki to worry about. But Sasuke had not killed him because he was a threat to Konoha, to Naruto and Sakura and Kakashi; he had killed him because he thought it was the only way to rid himself of all his past demons, the nightmares, everything.

He really was a fool.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Sakura watched his face with fascination, careful not to turn her head too far in his direction or shift around too much, for fear he might notice her watching and ruin her observations.

Never before had she been able to read his emotions with such clarity. Anger, hate, frustration…regret. It was strange, to her, to be able to read his face like this. Sasuke had never let anything slip past his stony countenance before.

And so she watched, transfixed, as each though process was written over his face anew.

She was certain he didn't display his emotions as clearly as she did, but years of living as a shinobi had taught her how to read each tensing muscle, every twitch of the mouth, furrow of the brow. She was bewitched, regarding him with careful intrigue.

His jaw clenched painfully tight, and she blinked.

Furious would have been an understatement.

xXxXxXxXxXx

"It's over, Sasuke."

Sasuke had almost forgotten she was there, his head whipped around so quickly.

"Don't agonize over it. Be satisfied." A small smile reached her lips, eyes twinkling with knowledge. Her viridian orbs returned to the sky, but his onyx ones remained on her face.

He took her for granted.

Gaze switching back to the fence, he realized just how many times he had pushed her away, accepting her company only when he needed it. She had always been a constant; she still was, he reminded himself, but no longer was she always coming to him.

That overwhelming feeling of what a remarkable person she was came over him once more.

After all he had done to her in the past, for all of his cold mannerisms and icy retorts, she always came back. She always knew just what to say to make him think, calm him down, move his mind onto other things. Yet he realized that he knew virtually nothing about her anymore. All past understanding of the girl—woman, he reminded himself—beside him had been thrown out the window with that slap she delivered; she had changed from something weak and barely noteworthy to a strong kunoichi who refused to be passed up.

And, though he was reluctant to admit it, he was disappointed that he had not been there to watch her bloom.

For the first time in a long time, he regretted his decision to leave. His departure had brought nothing but pain to everyone—even himself. Granted, he hadn't exactly expected happiness; but he had expected to feel at least remotely satisfied.

Security was the most he got. He felt safe, which was rather odd, considering he was a shinobi and had made more enemies than friends in the last five years, but he felt safe, nonetheless. And for that he was grateful, because for once in his life he wasn't afraid to forge bonds with others.

"Iie." She looked at him, blinking confusedly. "I'm not."

A small found its way to her lips and she stood, glancing at him from over her shoulder.

"Hungry?"

xXxXxXxXxXx

The two of them walked together in silence, the village stained in the pale, blue-gold light of morning.

Sakura sighed gently, clasping her hands loosely behind her back as she inspected the clouds drifting steadily by; the hint of a smile tugged at the corners of her lips

"You're tall," she said suddenly. He smirked slightly, closing his eyes.

"Aa."

Silence settled once more, and Sakura found it strange that she really didn't mind the lack of conversation anymore. When she was younger, she would have gone to any lengths to get him talking; now, she almost preferred the quiet. He was her calming respite at the beginning and end of each day, a peaceful contrast to her normally hectic schedule.

And she knew that he must have felt the same way, to an extent, because if he didn't then he would have not only refused her offer of food, but stopped waiting for her long ago.

It felt good, she had to admit, that he was finally paying attention to her; and it wasn't to call her weak, or inform her that he wasn't interested in whatever date she was offering this time. He was paying attention because he finally thought she had something worth his while to say. He walked with her because he had finally accepted her as something other than a weak nuisance. They weren't quite friends; neither knew enough about the other to truly classify themselves as comrades, but they had something, and right now that was all that mattered to her.

He was paying attention, and she didn't have to throw herself at his feet to get it; for the first time in a long time, he was the one coming to her, not the other way around. Why he bothered, she had yet to figure out, but it honestly didn't make a difference to her at the moment.

He was here; he was home.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Again he was struck by how utterly undeserving he was of her company.

She was so innocent, so kind, so…everything he wasn't. His hands were stained with the blood of his kin, hers with the blood of everyone she had worked her hardest to save. She was warm while he was cold, bright while he was dark. Yet still, despite all of their differences, she was the one who always came back.

And he didn't deserve any of what she was offering. He didn't deserve the love she used to proclaim or the company she gave.

But he would take it, because she offered. Because, even with all their differences, the prospect of her companionship was somewhat alluring to him. She intrigued him to no end, what with her outrageous hair and welcoming personality.

It still struck him as odd, how someone so seemingly fragile could ever create the monstrous damage she was capable of. She was such a child sometimes, but he knew full well that she carried wisdom far beyond her years.

Sasuke sighed, looking up at the steadily brightening sky, now a dull blue color.

He found it amusing, that the only time he felt even slightly content was when he was with her.

xXxXxXxXxXx

"You never answered my question."

His eyes remained on the sky above, unblinking. She brushed a stray lock of hair away from her eyes, waiting. She had come to learn over the years that what Sasuke needed was patience, if anything.

The longer the silence stretched on, the more she wondered why he was taking so long for what seemed to be the simplest question she had asked him so far. She had brought up some of the most painful and angering subjects known to him, and he had answered her with little hesitation, albeit a lot of thought. And now here she was, asking him about why he waited for her each night, and he had carefully avoided the question once already.

He couldn't possibly do it for the company; he had made it quite clear innumerable times that he had no interest in her whatsoever. The conversation was anything but wonderful, and all of her questions must have been beginning to get under his skin.

She breathed a sigh, wondering dryly if he even remembered what her question had been in the first place.

xXxXxXxXxXx

"I don't know." He nearly smacked himself, his voice sounded so hesitant; she turned her head in his direction, green eyes bright with curiosity.

Vaguely, he wondered why he had answered so. He knew perfectly well that he came for her company, as much as he was loath to admit it. She was the only person in the village who even bothered with him anymore; without her, the loneliness would consume him like revenge had.

And he knew that she realized he was carefully avoiding her question yet again, from the spark in her eye. She knew full well that he was lying, but right now…he didn't want to tell her the truth. He didn't know why, but he didn't. Telling her that he needed her company more than anything would be to show a weakness, and weaknesses could not be tolerated.

He felt the sudden need to change the subject.

"Why do you come?" he asked again, glancing briefly in her direction. The words were out of his mouth before he realized he was even going to speak them.

She seemed to be expecting the inquiry, from the sad smile that graced her features. She turned her gaze back to the sky above, contemplating. He was startled, slightly, by the change of mood that took place.

"Because I still love you."

Sasuke's heart skipped a beat.

He really was an undeserving bastard.

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**Submit Review and Go are long lost cousins. They'd appreciate your help reuniting. :D**

**Ja ne!  
_Dani-chan_**


	9. Rain

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, because if I did, you would be watching stick figures poke each other. **

**ZOMG I dunno if I like this chapter. And sorry it's so late…I've been really sick lately. :/ But it is here, so don't bite my head off. XD But I kinda have to hurry because it's a school night and I need to be in bed in about….five minutes. XD**

**OMG did I mention I got 31 reviews for this chapter alone? That's insane. Like…really. It's insane. You have no idea.**

**OH! And the next chapter will be delayed by about a week. I'm going camping until Sunday, so I won't be able to type anything until Monday. :(**

**Special Thanks:  
****Sakura Uchhia, Soporific, YoungSasuke, Brandy Camel, Confuzzled239, kyubiluver, kazumi kyoshira, hushhushyou, Crystal Koneko, Slytherin Kunoichi, Hanyue-Chan, icygirl2, graviola, Zelha, Kineticfairy, runwithskizzers, animevivverz, liandrin, Soporific, RasenganXChidori, mentally unstable X3, Kuro Chocobo, Chikata, curiousbrain, Kimyuri, little miss pissed off, FaitaGirl, Psyche-Wing, Marisa, Sya0ran, nejitenlee13, Sabrielle, Denied Love, emmamoonpotter, Sagitarious Devil, cottoncandyskies, Only Secret, MidnightRosebud, jaishe, une see, MeMe, purplehairedwonder**

**ESPECIALLY:  
**Soporific**, because you're my favorite. XD  
**graviola**, because your reviews never fail to make me choke on my soda.**

**Acknowledgements:  
**Soporific**: Have I mentioned yet that I love you? XD Haha. Thank you for going so in-depth as to what you like about each chapter…you have no idea just how much I appreciate that. :P  
**NazailiaSan**: Well…I'm –attempting- to get one chapter up each week. Yeah…it's not going so well. XD Expect a new chapter once every one to two weeks. :P  
**Brandy Camel**: Haha…I really wasn't trying to write a cliffy here…I just sort of…ended the last chapter because I was at a loss as to how I should continue. XD**

**Don't forget to revvieeewww….:D**

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**_Chapter Nine: Rain_**

He stopped walking, regarding her back carefully from beneath a furrowed brow. She stopped a few steps ahead of him, eyes never leaving the sky.

He didn't know what to say.

"What?"

She lowered her head, turning slightly so that their eyes met for the briefest of moments.

"Did you ever think I could stop?"

It took him a minute to register that she had rounded the corner and was out of sight.

xXxXxXxXxXx

For the first time in a long time, Sakura was glad she had the day off.

She heaved a sigh, clasping her hands loosely behind her back and closing her eyes. Had it been right to tell him? She didn't know. But she had, and so she would take the advice they had given each other and not agonize over it.

Some small corner of her mind was again frightened at the possibility of losing all that she had worked so hard to gain, but she batted the thoughts away.

She had reprimanded him for leaving, bringing up subjects that she knew he loathed, and he had still waited for her each night.

That same corner hoped she hadn't pushed him to his breaking point.

xXxXxXxXxXx

He suddenly felt incredibly guilty.

He didn't deserve her company, her conversation, her love—any of it. She shouldn't love someone like him. She deserved better; someone like Naruto, who could smile and make her laugh. Not some arrogant bastard like himself.

She was such an extraordinary person, to be able to love someone like him. He was so cold, so dark; she was everything he wasn't and more. And yet, despite everything he had put her through, every insult he had thrown, every blow he dealt to her fragile heart, she still loved him.

And he would be lying if he said he hadn't been startled when she told him; so matter-of-factly, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. He found it amusing, in a twisted way, that when he had expected it, it wasn't there. And now that it was, he was stunned.

The statement had been so utterly mind jarring that he felt as if, once again, he had lost all understanding of the roseate-haired kunoichi. She always managed to shed light on something new when he thought he was finally beginning to understand the puzzle. She invoked thought; not just with the questions she asked, but with her very demeanor. She had so many habits, so many peculiarities, that it was almost impossible to discern just what she would do next.

She captivated him.

And it frustrated him, that he had yet to figure her out. He used to be able to predict her every move, know every word that slipped past her lips before she spoke them; but now, it would seem, she knew more of his mannerisms than he did of hers.

And he found it oddly frightening.

xXxXxXxXxXx

It was strange, how she had gone a full day without sleep and had yet to feel even slightly tired.

Sakura took a deep breath, reveling in the scent of pine that surrounded her as she opened her eyes. She had intended to get some training done, but the grass here was too luxuriously soft for her to even think about destroying it; so for now she was content to lie on it, watching the clouds drifting slowly by.

She laced her fingers gently atop her stomach, listening to the breeze as it shifted the leaves around her.

She found it oddly ironic that, for all the years she spent chasing after him when they were younger, she now knew more about him than she ever had before. The corners of her mouth curled upward slightly in twisted amusement. They had known each other since childhood, and she had only just begun to scratch the surface.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Ever since she had walked away, one word had been flitting through his mind.

Why?

Why would she love someone like him? Why would she even bother with a person like himself? The answer, as usual, was well beyond his grasp. He did not deserve the attentions of someone like her. He didn't deserve any of what she was giving him, and yet he took it anyway. He took it because she gave it to him willingly; she was a fount of everything he had been deprived of for the last five years, and he eagerly took everything she offered.

Sasuke was a greedy bastard, and he knew it.

She gave him everything, and he did nothing in return; he took all that she gave and waited for more. He did not return the gesture.

Again came that overwhelming feeling of guilt.

He did not deserve her company. He did not deserve her love. He did not deserve her. The only thing he had ever given her was heartache; she deserved someone better.

Heaving a sigh, he glared up at the clouds.

He wondered if she would have been better off, had he left again after returning.

xXxXxXxXxXx

She had long ago come to the conclusion that running helped to clear her mind.

And so she ran.

She ran until her limbs ached and her lungs screamed for oxygen—and then she ran some more. It wasn't until her head started to pound that she stumbled to a halt, leaning against a wall for support.

"What's wrong?"

Sakura opened her eyes, sliding down the wall and looking at Naruto questioningly.

"You only run when something's bothering you," he said with a smile, sitting beside her. She remained silent, staring up at the sky. No matter how many times they spoke, how many nights they sat together at Ichiraku, he never failed to amaze her.

Naruto was such an overwhelmingly good person; despite everything the village had ever put him through, he still did his best to help out. Regardless of whatever problems he had, he always took time out of his day to talk with her; and she was grateful.

She was grateful because he was the steadying hand that kept her balanced when she was ready to fall. He was so childish, yet at the same time so incredibly wise.

The clouds were steadily turning steely grey as they rolled over the sun. A small smile found its way to her lips, exhausted as she was.

"You're going to make a great Hokage, Naruto."

xXxXxXxXxXx

Thunder rumbled in the distance, evening sun disappearing completely behind the once white clouds above.

Sasuke closed his eyes as a breeze drifted by, carrying with it the scent of rain.

He didn't think there would ever be a time when he was worthy of her; he had committed too many crimes, had too many regrets. She was so innocent compared to him, so clean and warm, while he was dirty and cold; nothing could ever change that. They were complete opposites.

But as much as they could not alter, the allure of her company would not fade.

He was the moth, she the flame, radiating with warmth and comfort and everything his dark world did not offer. She was his respite from the loneliness and the nightmares, the one thing fighting to keep him sane in a village that despised him with everything it had.

She deserved someone better, someone who was as good a person as she was.

Sasuke sighed, opening his eyes and frowning at the street. He didn't even know what love was anymore; all understanding of it had been thrown out the window when he was eight years old. His only perception of love was hurt and betrayal.

"Che."

He ran a hand through his hair agitatedly.

He found it vaguely amusing that this was frustrating him more than anything she had thrown in his direction before.

xXxXxXxXxXx

It had already begun to drizzle by the time they sat down at Ichiraku. Sakura wondered briefly if he would even bother to come with the weather as it was.

She had almost finished her food; normally he came well before this time. She contemplated going after him on her own, but it seemed strange to do such a thing. He came to her first…that was the routine. That was how it had been since his return, and she was a little afraid to alter it. He walked past the ramen stand to let her know that he was ready. If he wasn't prepared, then she would wait.

Some small corner of her mind wondered if she had gone too far; would he even come?

Shaking such thoughts from her mind, she set her money on the table as his blue-black form cut slowly through the light rain.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Sasuke didn't really mind the rain.

He leaned against the tree, shoulders and hair damp from walking without shelter from the water now beating down on the village profusely, waiting. He watched with detached interest as droplets of water collected on the leaves he was so fond of watching before gently dripping to the earth below.

He sensed her presence approaching, and was immediately reminded of the first day he had seen her outside the hospital.

She was soaked to the bone, viridian orbs gazing at the heavens, unseeing. Her clothes were stuck to her pale, thin frame, arms hanging loosely by her sides. She stopped walking, lowering her head to look at him.

"Walk with me?" she asked quietly, water dripping from her rosy lips.

He looked at her uncertainly for a moment. He wondered vaguely if she realized the rain was still pounding her body relentlessly.

"Aa."

The rain was remarkably cold, though soon his clothes and flesh were soaked so thoroughly that numbness kicked in. Silence had always been their forte, but tonight it seemed more complete than usual, despite the hiss of the rain hitting earth and the resounding slap of their footsteps against wet ground. He shoved his hands into his pockets regardless of the moisture within, tilting his face upward and closing his eyes, reveling in the weather.

He hadn't walked in the rain in a long, long time.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Her eyes remained steadily on the pavement beneath their feet, watching the intricate patterns that wove across the surface of the puddles below, water never ceasing in its elaborate dance.

Sakura took a deep breath through her nose, shaking the limp, wet hair away from her eyes. She was surprised that he had come with her, to be quite honest. She had never taken Sasuke for one to go for walks in the rain. The corner of her mouth twitched upward.

She had never taken him for one to watch the sunrise, either.

She shivered, blinking. The water's fingers were icily cold, but she found it difficult to care. She had always liked the rain, and her body was mostly numb, now, what with the state of her clothing.

"Why do you love me?"

It was sudden, quiet; at first she didn't think he had even said anything. She looked up at him, uncertain. His eyes were open as he stared at the darkened clouds above passively, stance unchanged. Apple green eyes returned to the ground below, small, sad smile gracing her features.

"How could I not?"

He didn't press for more, not that she expected him to.

A sigh slipped past her lips, beryl orbs disappearing behind delicate eyelids.

"I don't deserve it."

She stopped walking, another sad smile adorning her lips as she opened her eyes once more.

"I know you don't," she whispered, though she knew he was already well out of earshot.

xXxXxXxXxXx

The rain had let up a little, and the cold was finally starting to get to him, but he continued walking anyway, pensive.

He was undeserving, and he was greedy, but he didn't think that he would ever stop waiting for her at the base of that tree.

She kept the loneliness from driving him insane; she gave him the company that he had been for so long deprived of, and he would be lying if he said that it didn't somewhat comfort him to see a friendly face at the end of each day. She was a flame in the midst of a forest of ice, the only person who even bothered with him anymore. There was Naruto, yes, but he doubted that the two of them would ever go back to being as they were.

He sighed heavily, brow furrowing slightly as he gazed up at the charcoal blue clouds above him, still raining.

As much as he hated to admit it, she was the only thing in his dull and perpetually meaningless existence that mattered to him. He had nothing; not a loving family nor friends that cared. He had no purpose, no goal to reach for. He had a beating heart that kept him alive, and he had her.

Greedy as he was, he found that he didn't mind all that much.

xXxXxXxXxXx

She had changed into some dry clothes, but her hair was still damp and her flesh smelled of rain.

Sakura watched as the clouds began to part slightly, patches of grey-purple sky appearing and disappearing as they shifted. A beam of gold broke through the darkness as the clouds along the horizon gently thinned, revealing a partially risen sun through the surreally glistening drops of water still dripping steadily down from the heavens.

She slipped out the door and into the refreshingly chilly morning air as Sasuke walked past her house for the third time that morning.

Jade orbs watched the puddles beneath her feet as they shimmered with the pale light of morning, reluctant to relinquish their grey-blue tones. She took a deep breath, lifting her gaze to the sky, still a mass of gray and blue and purple; the entire village was swathed in shades of grey, color fighting for dominance and barely prevailing.

She took her place beside him, never too close, and watched as the pale gold of the sun glistened from beneath the grey mass that was the sky, scarcely managing to stay in sight. Moisture from the grass beneath her soaked into her back, rain gently dampening her clothes.

It struck her how strange they must look, lying there in the grass while it rained, watching a sunrise they could barely see, in complete silence.

But the sunrise was theirs, and that damned tree was theirs, and she would be here no matter what the weather was; because even if he thought she was weak, and even if he only sat with her because he had nothing better to do, she would love him. Even if that love would forever go unrequited, and she had no doubt that it would.

She laced her fingers on top of her stomach, the clouds along the horizon now tinged with pink.

She would revel in it while she could, until he tired of her company and moved on to find another goal he could throw himself at. Because all that really mattered to her was getting through to him. She didn't require his love, nor want it—though that small corner of her mind told her otherwise. She wanted to show him just how stupid he had been, and that there were such things as second chances. She didn't care if he abandoned her after that, because as long as she reached her goal she was satisfied.

She had a family that loved her; she had friends that cared. But right now, she had him.

And she would be lying if she said that he didn't matter more to her than any of it.

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**Go is getting kind of lonely. Maybe you can make him feel better by setting up a playdate with Submit Review?**

**Ja ne!  
****_Dani-chan_**


	10. Hatred

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, because if I did, you would be watching stick figures poke each other. **

**Wow…it's been, what, about a month, now? Ah, hehe…sorry, guys. I've had this terrible case of writer's block lately. This chapter has been redone about three times now, and I _think_ I'm finally satisfied. XD**

**Anyway, thank you all for telling me how much you adore this…it felt really good to check my email and see that so many of you are just itching for more. XD**

**Terribly sorry about the delay, but between school and a social life and such, it's difficult to find time to write anymore. :(**

**Hope you don't hate me too much… XD**

**Special Thanks:  
Sakura Uchhia, Soporific, YoungSasuke, Brandy Camel, Confuzzled239, kyubiluver, kazumi kyoshira, hushhushyou, Crystal Koneko, Slytherin Kunoichi, Hanyue-Chan, icygirl2, graviola, Zelha, Kineticfairy, runwithskizzers, animevivverz, liandrin, Soporific, RasenganXChidori, mentally unstable X3, Kuro Chocobo, Chikata, curiousbrain, Kimyuri, little miss pissed off, FaitaGirl, Psyche-Wing, Marisa, Sya0ran, nejitenlee13, Sabrielle, Denied Love, emmamoonpotter, Sagitarious Devil, cottoncandyskies, Only Secret, MidnightRosebud, jaishe, une see, MeMe, purplehairedwonder, Manamoon, Serenity.Aglow, me and my story, Archerelf, une see, Kane Shi Megami, mad about books, xrose45623, Princess Attan, arham, xcrimsonwingsx**

**ESPECIALLY:  
**Soporific**, because I just _love_ picking favorites and your reviews make my day. :)  
**cottoncandyskies**, because you always take the time out of your day to help out Go and Submit Review-chan. :D  
**graviola**, because I'm lazy too. I think we're on a roll with the mutual likes/dislikes here. XD**

**Acknowledgements:  
**graviola**: I haven't had chocolate in a while, either…damn it, you always make me hungry. XD  
**xrose45623**: Thank you very much…it's always nice to receive reviews like yours. :)  
**cottoncandyskies**: Haha, Go and Submit Review-chan appreciate it. XD And the whole 'Sakura running because it helps her think' thing is actually something I do a lot…if I have loads on my mind I'll go jog around the block a few times to clear my head.  
**jaishe**: Considering your review, I think you'll like this chapter. Hopefully. XD**  
mad about books**: I actually am quite obsessed with eyes… XD I love taking pictures of my friends' eyes and such, so I think at times my obsession can kind of bleed into my writing. XD Thanks for pointing that out, though. :P**  
Sagitarious Devil**: Thank you, thank you. XD It's no big deal about the not reading thing…I understand very well the limitations that life can put on certain things. XD I'm just glad that you're reading at all. XD  
**Serenity.Aglow**: Haha…I'm really sorry…I've just been really busy lately, and then I got sick and then I had writer's block and…bah. It's been a bad month, let me tell you. XD**

**Don't forget to review. I love reviews. Therefore, if you review, I love you. :D**

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**_Chapter Ten: Hatred_**

The rain had ceased, and a strange hush had fallen over the village.

Not an animal had stirred in the early morning light—the only audible noises in the vicinity were those of their own calm breath. He observed her from the corner of his eye, taking in all the small details that he had never bothered with before.

Her face had a certain maturity that had long ago been far out of her reach. Her eyes had turned from dazzling apple green to deep and entrancing pools of emerald, nose curving gracefully to lips that rarely smiled at him anymore; the skin of her arms was smooth and paler than he remembered, but his musings came to an abrupt halt when he came to an abnormally light patch of skin on her upper shoulder, half-hidden by the sleeve of her shirt: a thick, jagged line of white traced into her flesh.

All shinobi had scars; they came with the way of life. But normally they weren't so jagged and brutally cut as the one on her upper arm. A small frown graced his features.

It looked like something his Chidori would give.

A beam of light broke through the clouds, illuminating her face; her eyes fluttered shut against the sudden brightness before reopening, a small smile upon her face.

It dawned upon him that she really must be a masochist, to love someone like him. After everything he put her through over the years, all of the hurt and insults, she just kept coming back for more. And yet, after everything he had done to her, she was now the only person he had left.

Life had a way of throwing everything back in his face, lately.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Sakura shivered slightly as a light breeze drifted by lazily, putting emphasis on the fact that she was soaked to the bone. She knew that she should probably leave and change into warmer clothes before she caught something, but she was reluctant to go.

She had come to the realization a while back that he was more fragile than he let on; he was afraid and alone and so incredibly easy to break that it was depressing, but he kept his head high and his back straight. Long ago she would have denied that he had any weaknesses at all, but now she realized that he had more than anyone should ever have.

For that reason, she was hesitant in her leaving.

She was cold and if not for the breathtaking beauty that was the scenery around her she would be miserable, but she stayed anyway. Because she knew that however cold she was, she would never be able to fully comprehend the sorrow and coldness that he felt.

"It's cold…we should go someplace warm."

When he didn't say anything she stood, knowing that he would follow.

xXxXxXxXxXx

He was cold; that was his excuse for following willingly behind her.

Subconsciously, he knew that he was lying to himself. If he was just cold, he could have gone home and dried himself off, but right now he felt the need for company with a pang in his chest.

It was odd, he thought, that for all his years of wandering alone willingly, he now hated the solitude he was almost constantly surrounded by. And so he clung to her company like a drowning man would a lifeboat, desperate for something to keep his past at bay.

It was a bit like trying to run from his own shadow, he thought with twisted, bitter amusement.

xXxXxXxXxXx

She found it difficult to remember just how long ago it had been since the last time they sat in Ichiraku together.

At least five years, perhaps a little longer; it felt like decades more to her.

They ate in silence, not that she ever minded the quiet they shared, water dripping from the stools upon which they sat. Again she marveled at how odd a pair they must look, both soaked to the bone in a tiny ramen stand just after daybreak. They were probably the only two adults in the village without the sense to get out of the rain.

"Well, well, what have you two been doing?" joked a voice from behind. Sakura smiled, laughing softly.

"Ohayo, Naruto," she replied as the blonde ninja sat down on the unoccupied stool to her left.

The memories hit her like a blow to the gut.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Sasuke never thought he would see the day that Team 7 sat yet again in that cramped ramen stand they had once been so fond of.

Once more that daunting feeling of regret overwhelmed him, buzzing about his head like a fly that refused to leave no matter how much he swatted at it. He found it both irritating and relieving at the same time that it still felt so familiar to sit with the two of them like this; he knew that in the back of his mind he had been afraid—afraid that he had forgotten how to function like a normal person. Or rather, however normal a person like him could function.

They were both truly remarkable people, to put up with his presence. It was still shocking to him, after living so long in a world with nothing but fear and anger, that anyone could be so remarkably compassionate as the two shinobi sitting next to him. A long time ago, he would have called them naïve and weak for being so kind, but now he realized that they were stronger than most of the shinobi in Konohagakure.

They had a purpose for living; they had something to protect.

xXxXxXxXxXx

It was too much, for the three of them to be sitting there together, just like old times. It brought back too many memories, too many wonderfully happy and tragic memories, for her to even think straight.

She was trying harder than she ever thought possible to keep the tears at bay while Naruto joked beside her, but she wasn't getting much of a reward for her efforts.

She could remember coming home from a long mission, exhausted and in desperate need of a shower, but finding the time to come back and sit here for a quick meal with the two of them. She could remember shoving Naruto to the side for the seat next to Sasuke, and trying to see Kakashi-sensei's face while he ate his food.

She could remember sitting alone with Naruto on the night Sasuke left.

Before either of them could see her cry, she threw her money on the counter and fled, nearly tripping over her own feet in her haste to get away. Her vision blurred, and this time there was no rain to mask the tears.

xXxXxXxXxXx

That damned tree was mocking her, she just knew it.

She had somehow, in her blind flight, found her way to the fence across from it, where she stood, holding herself, as she desperately tried to stop crying. But every time she looked up to wipe her eyes, there it was to cause a fresh flow.

She told herself she couldn't leave because her legs were too exhausted to carry her any further and if she ran anymore her lungs would burst from air deprivation, but she couldn't bring herself to sit down, either.

Sakura couldn't remember the last time she had cried this hard. After he had left, she had made it a point not to cry without a good reason anymore. Granted, she had slipped up a few times, but she had not, in a long, long time, ever had a breakdown as terrible as the one she was now experiencing.

But it hurt.

It hurt like it had when she had thought he was going to die during the chuunin exams; it hurt like every insult he had ever thrown at her put together, like the night he had left, and the morning when she had woken up on that bench.

The memories she held were so painful to remember that she had shoved them in the back of her mind for safekeeping. She realized with another sob that it had probably been a mistake to do so, as she was forced to let it all out now rather than a little at a time.

She slid down the fence behind her; her legs were shaking too hard to support her weight properly, and the cold was beginning to take its toll.

It was hard for her, to comprehend where the sadness ended and the anger and confusion began. She supposed they had all melded into one yet again, forming that massive sea she was so afraid of drowning in. She was sad for every memory that had been lost, but most of all she was sad for all the memories that had never had the chance to be formed. There were times with her, Naruto, and Kakashi-sensei, with Ino, Lee and Sai, but no Sasuke. And she couldn't help but wonder, as much as she tried to keep the 'what ifs' at bay, what would have happened if he had stayed. She wondered how many more joyous memories would have been created and just how much more happiness would have been in everyone's lives.

And that, she believed, was where the anger began to bleed into the picture. She was angry at him for leaving, and that would never change. She was angry at him for ruining the lives of so many of her precious people, for not staying with the people of Konoha when they needed him the most. She was angry at him for leaving her heartbroken and Naruto depressed and without a best friend.

But most of all, she was angry at him for ruining his own life. She was furious because he could have been so much happier here than off with Orochimaru, living in a dark maze without so much as a warm smile for the most important years of his life.

She was so mad at him for willingly tearing his life to shreds, just like his brother wanted. He consented to Itachi's wishes, he let go of everything he loved to ensure the death of a man he wasn't even certain he could defeat, let alone kill. He had so much potential, so much natural talent it was almost frightening…and he threw it all away. She would have killed to have as much talent as he possessed, she would have willingly gone to the ends of the earth to obtain it. And he tossed it aside like it was nothing more than a piece of trash.

That was about where, she estimated, the confusion began to swim into her thoughts. She was confused as to why he would ever want to give everything up, all for the sake of revenge. It ruined his life, it left him an empty shell without emotion or purpose, tearing him apart from the inside out.

She cried harder, swiftly losing the willpower to stop the tears.

He was so damn stupid she couldn't even fully comprehend it. He was supposed to be a genius, talented in the ways of ninja techniques, always getting high scores on his exams.

It struck her just how dense someone would have to be, to throw all that potential out the window for a chance to kill someone.

She found it enraging, that he would go to someone like Orochimaru for power. It baffled her beyond comprehension that Sasuke would leave with someone like that, knowing full well he was just looking for another body, all for the chance to kill his last remaining blood relative.

No matter what way she looked at it, the odds had always been against Sasuke; and yet he had strived and strived for an apple that had always been far out of his reach, despite the fact that at any moment he could lose his balance and fall back on the sword that threatened to end his existence with just one false step.

She couldn't even understand how anyone could be that stupid.

xXxXxXxXxXx

He gave her three minutes, and then he started walking after her.

His excuse was that she would probably get hurt if she continued to run blindly like that, this being a village filled with shinobi and all, but really he knew he was going after her because he felt it was the right thing to do.

It was odd, really, because his perception of right and wrong had long ago been shattered into pieces, crumbling at his feet just as everything else he had ever strived at had. He found it irritating that she was the only person in a long time that had ever caused him to act even mildly out of character. She vexed him and captivated him and left him desperate to learn more.

She annoyed him to no end.

But she was the only one he had, so he would try his best to patch her up and make things better again; because without her, he would have no one to lean on. Without her…

…he would have given up a long time ago.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Her chest was tight, and she didn't know if it was because of all the crying or because her heart hurt so much that it was making it hard for her to breathe properly.

She bit her lip, wrapping her arms around her knees and hiding her face from that damned taunting tree as a fresh flow of tears streamed down her face. There was a barely audible scrape as someone came to a stop before her; her head snapped up to see none other than Sasuke, looking down at her with a small frown upon his face and something in his eyes that couldn't possibly be concern because Sasuke didn't care about anything, and she stood.

She knew he saw the hand coming, but why he didn't block it was beyond her; the slap echoed along the deserted street.

"Why did you have to leave?" Her voice was louder than usual, hands balled into fists at her sides. His head slowly swiveled back around to look at her, a red mark clearly visible just below his right cheekbone. "You're so damn stupid! Why did you have to leave?"

He remained silent, even as she brought her small fists up to beat on his chest in frustration.

"You could have stayed! You could have been happy! You're such a selfish bastard…idiot!" She pushed him, and still he said nothing, looking at her with his small frown and ebony eyes with that unrecognizable something in them that did nothing but fuel her anger.

"Why won't you say anything? Say something, you bastard!"

She shook her head, furiously trying to get rid of the tears that wouldn't leave her face. She pushed him again, harder this time, beating her hands against his chest once more.

"Damn it! I wish…I wish I could hate you!"

His hands caught her wrists, and suddenly she found herself against the fence she could have sworn she had been pushing him away from.

"Don't ever say that again." His voice was dangerously low, and it took her a moment to register his mouth on hers.

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**Submit Review and Go feel like dancing…help get them partnered up, why don't you?**

**Ja ne!  
****_Dani-chan_**


	11. Definition

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, because if I did, you would be watching stick figures poke each other. **

**So it's a little late, but it's here. Huzzah!**

**Haha, you guys really hated me for leaving the last chapter where it was, huh? I felt kinda bad, reading your reviews. But I got 40 for the last chapter, so it was worth it. :D**

**I'm really not sure if I like this chapter at all. It was really late when I wrote most of this, and I'm rather concerned about whether or not it's too repetitive. Tell me what you think, because I'm sick and I deserve lots of reviews. :)**

**Special Thanks:  
****Sakura Uchhia, Soporific, YoungSasuke, Brandy Camel, Confuzzled239, kyubiluver, kazumi kyoshira, hushhushyou, Crystal Koneko, Slytherin Kunoichi, Hanyue-Chan, icygirl2, graviola, Zelha, Kineticfairy, runwithskizzers, animevivverz, liandrin, Soporific, RasenganXChidori, mentally unstable X3, Kuro Chocobo, Chikata, curiousbrain, Kimyuri, little miss pissed off, FaitaGirl, Psyche-Wing, Marisa, Sya0ran, nejitenlee13, Sabrielle, Denied Love, emmamoonpotter, Sagitarious Devil, cottoncandyskies, Only Secret, MidnightRosebud, jaishe, une see, MeMe, purplehairedwonder, Manamoon, Serenity.Aglow, me and my story, Archerelf, une see, Kane Shi Megami, mad about books, xrose45623, Princess Attan, arham, xcrimsonwingsx, The Reminiscent of Raen, Hidden Mikomi, NazaliaSan, pink haired kunoichi, remix-er69, Lil-Fluffy-Chan, aziangirl723, 2supersmart, Hanyue-Chan, Alucius, Sasuke-kunAikoka, 4everDestined,**

**ESPECIALLY:  
**Soporific**, because I look forward to reading your amazingly long reviews every time I post a new chapter. :)  
**cottoncandyskies**, because Submit Review-chan and Go couldn't dance without you.  
**graviola**, because Ultimate Wedding Bouquet Fighting is the best thing since sliced bread. XD**

**Acknowledgements:  
**Hidden Mikomi**: Well, thanks for being honest. XD I know it's a little slow, but I do appreciate you telling me what you think. :)  
**cottoncandyskies**: Well, Submit Review-chan and Go appreciate all your help. XD And I'm glad the chapter made you happy…I like making people happy. :)  
**Serenity.Aglow**: Haha…nicotine for the soul…I totally need to use that from now on. XD glad you liked the chapter, though!  
**Brandy Camel**: Your review made me laugh. Hard. It may have had something to do with the fact that it was 2:00AM when I received it, but I appreciate it, nonetheless.  
**remix-er69**: Oh, God, that episode makes me cry every time. XD Glad I could relieve some of the sadness, for you, though. :P  
**Soporific**: First of all, THANK YOU. It's in caps, because I love your reviews the most. Don't tell the others, though, they might hurt me. XD But anyway, as much as I would like to say that I put sentences in there like that completely and totally on purpose, because I have some ingenious stroke of brilliance, I don't. I just write, and whatever comes to mind I put down on paper. As for the review you gave on chapter nine, I appreciate that one, too. :) I knew there was something missing, but I posted the chapter anyway because I didn't want to miss my deadline by _that_ much. Thank you for pointing that out to me; and about the "I know you don't" line, I'm not entirely sure myself, actually. I just…I don't know. I never thought that he was really very deserving of her pouring her heart and soul into him when he gave nothing back. I dunno. But I type 'sunset' on accident ALL the time. It's rather annoying, and I have to pick apart my paragraphs pertaining to the sunrise very carefully, lest I miss one. XD THANK YOU VERY MUCH. It's in caps, because I love picking favorites. XD**  
Alucius**: Yeah…I feel a bit whiny, asking for reviews all the time. XD Thank you, though…that compliment totally made my day. :)  
**graviola**: Yes, yes, they can dance a tango…  
**Kuro Chocobo**: HAH! It wasn't a month this time! I win, I win! Haha. But really, I'm glad you liked the chapter. A lot of people did, actually… XD**

**I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER AND EVER IF YOU REVIEW. Who knows, maybe I'll even love you more than Soporific.**

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Chapter Eleven: Definition 

It was fierce and slow and sweet and it ended far too quickly for her liking.

Sakura told herself that she should be yelling after him about now, screaming that he had no right to kiss her like that and leave her speechless, but she found her body quite incapable of doing anything but watch him as he rounded the corner and was lost from her line of sight.

Sliding down the fence once more, she realized that she was still soaked from the rain and that she should probably be getting home, but her limbs didn't seem to want to cooperate with her brain.

He was so exasperatingly confusing, and she knew that if she continued with their little routine that she would probably just wind up getting hurt again; but she couldn't bring herself to leave him all alone anymore. That, she believed, would be more painful for her than anything, to see him by himself yet again. And even if she wanted to, she didn't think that she could ever let him go entirely—especially not after today.

She buried her face in her hands, resisting the urge to scream out her frustration.

All these years, she had worked her hardest to keep her feelings for him tucked deep inside; and now that he was back, her emotions were running over one another in their haste to escape.

But despite her love for him, she couldn't help but wonder what had been going through his head just a few moments before. Sasuke didn't show his emotions with the clarity that she did, if he showed them at all. But before, it felt like…

She shook the thought out of her head, standing and taking a deep breath.

She needed to go for another run.

xXxXxXxXxXx

He had changed into some fresh clothes and now sat idly by the window of his apartment, watching stoically as the village steadily dried itself in the pale rays of the morning sun. Despite his attempts at forgetting what had happened little more than an hour ago, his stubborn mind kept returning to the feel of her lips against his.

Sasuke bit the inside of his mouth as he watched her run by, still in her wet clothes. He wondered vaguely what the hurry was, staring after her pink tresses long after they had disappeared behind a building.

She confused him more than any person had in his life, which was saying something, considering the fact that he never really did figure out why his brother had gone on his psychopathic rampage. It irked him that she managed to get under his skin so much with no more than a sentence or two, that she managed to provoke something in his chest that he couldn't quite recognize when she was crying.

And, to be quite frank, it pissed him off that she could drag out everything he tried to hide from the world whether she meant to or not.

He could take the entire village spitting on his existence—as a matter of fact, he had to deal with it on a daily basis; he could cope with the insults and the glares from every last person he used to know as a child.

Except her.

He could handle her yelling and cursing, because he deserved it. He could handle her fists beating on his chest, because he deserved every hit—painless as they were—she dealt. He could even handle being shoved away from the one person in this place that still found it in her heart to give a damn.

But at the thought of her hating him, something inside broke.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Sakura fell, rather unceremoniously, onto her side in the grass, gasping and panting for the oxygen that her muscles and lungs were so deprived of.

She coughed, throat raw, realizing that it had probably been a mistake not to at least change out of her freezing attire before going for a run in the cool of morning. Unable to find the energy to sit up, she just lay there, basking in the thoughts she had yet to sort through, despite the lengthy set of laps she had run around the village.

She had seen him watching her as she sped past his house, and she couldn't help but wonder what, exactly, he had been thinking as he regarded her with that cool curiosity of his. She shook the thought away, rolling onto her back and slinging an arm over her eyes. It wouldn't do, for her to sit there contemplating what his thoughts were when she didn't even know what she was thinking.

He was so frustrating and exasperating and difficult to figure out that sometimes she wondered if he was really worth the struggle. He had caused her so much heartache, had confused her far more than she would have liked in the short time that he had been home, that she often asked herself if she could really love someone like him.

And it had become more of a rhetorical question than anything, because she always knew what the answer was before her thoughts even had the chance to form the letters.

xXxXxXxXxXx

It bothered him, that she managed to shatter his stony countenance without ever intending to.

She had been angry, and had said things she normally wouldn't have, and he had kissed her. She probably hadn't even expected a reaction, and normally he wouldn't have given her one. But she wasn't normal, and neither was the situation; and it bothered him more than anything that, the more he thought about it, the more he realized that he would do it again if he had the chance.

And he was scared.

He was scared because the last time he had ever cared about anyone, they had been ripped away with such force that his entire life had deteriorated into an irreparable mess. The last time he had ever let his emotions show, even a little, he had been so weak and unable to do anything to save anyone he loved.

So for a long time, he hid.

He hid behind a false façade of apathy and disdain that, should it ever crumble, would fall away to reveal a broken little boy of eight, desperate to gain back something of what was formerly his life and failing miserably. He hid behind a lack of emotion and a superior attitude that helped protect him from the hurt he had felt, and despite the fact that no more harm came, he kept those walls around him erect with painful care. It had worked so far, why risk trying something different? And so he remained, hidden inside his prison of loneliness, for a long, long time. But now that the walls had begun to crumble, a wave of panicked fear ran through his veins. He was afraid of what would happen, should he let the bricks fall away; he was afraid of what the holes would reveal, and desperately frightened of any hurt that might come to pass, now that his careful construction was collapsing.

He didn't want to open up again, only to find himself alone and aching once more. He had allowed himself a single sliver of freedom, in the form of that weak brick that was Sakura. And now, it would seem, he would pay the price, as those walls of apathy that had for so long protected his heart were finally coming down around him.

He never could seem to make things work forever.

xXxXxXxXxXx

She was blissfully warm, and her limbs were steadily losing their numbness as she sat, huddled in a blanket by the window, sipping on her tea absently.

Trying to sort out what had happened was leaving her with more failure than success, she realized with a rather dejected sigh. What had been going through his mind was a mystery to her, as it always was and always had been. How was she supposed to take something like that, when for years all she had been given was a cold shoulder?

She really did wish she could hate him, sometimes; it would make things so much easier on her part. She wished that she could hate him, so that she could get rid of all those years of pain and every tear she ever shed for him. She wished that some part of her were capable of resenting him, so that she would have been able to give Naruto all the chances that he so deserved.

But somewhere, in the back of her mind, she knew that if she were actually given the chance to hate him, she wouldn't take it. Because despite all the tears and heartache, loving him had turned her into the person she was today, odd as it was. If it hadn't been for him and her desperate want to bring him home, she wouldn't have become a medic, and she would never have grown up the way she did. As wrong as it was that he had influenced almost every decision she had made in the past when he wasn't even there, he had done it; and because of that, she was a successful shinobi with wonderful friends she wouldn't have otherwise had.

She sighed again, resting her chin in the palm of her hand.

She found it both ironic and vastly irritating that she owed almost all of who she was to the one man that wasn't there to influence her in the least. But he was Sasuke, and, as always, he had found a way.

He had been damn good at it, too.

xXxXxXxXxXx

The sun had finally begun to set, and he sat by the window, ever thoughtful.

He considered that he might, in fact, confuse himself more than she did. He had barely entertained the idea before pushing it out of his head, however. It was difficult to confuse oneself—or rather, it should be. She, on the other hand, seemed to have no trouble whatsoever baffling him.

At last, the orange globe sank below the horizon, turning the sky blood red.

He set off in the direction of that vile stand, telling himself that he really just wanted to make sure she wasn't angry with him.

xXxXxXxXxXx

He was earlier than usual, not that she minded too much.

Naruto said nothing as she left him all alone, and she started feeling guilty again. He was so understanding and kind that it felt wrong to leave him by his lonesome when it had been their routine to eat together for nearly four years.

Sighing, she slowed her pace a touch, clasping her hands loosely behind her back and looking up at the sky, stars reflected in her jade irises.

She was relieved that nothing had changed, and that their nightly conversations could continue; she wasn't sure what she would have done without this to count on.

She took a deep breath, sitting down beside him—never too close, never too far—and returning her gaze to the black abyss above.

The silence stretched between them, as it usually did, complete and total in this desolate part of Konoha.

"Was it worth it?" she asked softly. She knew he had turned to study her face even without looking. "Leaving, I mean. For your revenge." She felt the need to clarify, when he continued to observe her features carefully.

Sakura didn't think she asked particularly difficult questions. They were just common sense, really…they were logical things to want to know, in her book. Apparently, though, he found them quite demanding; and she could understand that, because Sasuke had never been one to open up to anyone, let alone her. It was probably quite a challenge, to pick apart his defenses enough to tell her the things she wanted to know. Knowing how difficult it must be for him to answer any of her inquiries, even the simple ones, she was suddenly very glad he allowed her so close. As a matter of fact, she realized, she was probably the only person in a long time he had ever actually talked to about anything relatively meaningful.

She watched, from the corner of her eye, as he studied the fence across from him with a slightly furrowed brow, small frown in place.

And she waited, because she knew that what Sasuke needed was, if anything, patience. She would have to give him patience if she ever wanted him to open up without the prodding and fishing for answers, and she was more than willing to give him that.

She was more than willing to give him a lot of things, she realized with twisted amusement.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Sasuke had known what she meant before the clarification, and he was dreading this question above all.

Had it been worth it to leave Konoha behind him? He really didn't know. Had it been worth it to leave his team behind? He wasn't sure. Had it been worth leaving every remaining scrap of who he was, all for the death of one man? Sometimes, he wondered.

In some ways, yes, it had been worth it. It had been worth it to leave his life behind, because in the end he had accomplished his goal. His brother, Itachi, the one man who had ruined everything to test his strength, had been killed. The Uchiha clan had been avenged, and he finally felt secure.

But then he got to thinking about the flipside of things; and then he realized that, in other ways, it hadn't been worth any of it.

It hadn't been worth every new scar he had on his body. It hadn't been worth it for one psychopathic brother. It hadn't been worth every broken heart and day after day of living in solitude within the confines of a dark labyrinth, and it most certainly hadn't been worth the emptiness he had felt after everything was finished.

His goal had been accomplished, but in the end everything was still in shambles.

"I don't know."

It was more of a bitter realization spoken aloud, than anything.

A fitting answer; she really hadn't expected a straight 'yes' or 'no.'

"I see." She was too tired to ask for anything more.

You really can't justify leaving your very existence behind to ensure the death of your last remaining blood relative. It's not a noble cause; it's a tragic storyline with an even more tragic finale, because in the end Itachi was dead and Sasuke was just as broken and bent as before. His life had never been normal, and she didn't expect that it ever would be; his story was one that you read about in novels, but without the happy ending.

She really hoped that he would find his happy ending, sometime.

He stood, and she watched him as he began to walk away.

"Get some sleep…you're exhausted."

She smiled slightly in mild amusement; so he did notice other people, after all.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Sasuke found it vaguely funny that he had half-expected hopeful glances on her part.

But she had changed far beyond his comprehension, as he was constantly reminded, it would seem, and he was surprised yet again when her attitude towards him remained the same as it had been since his return; he didn't think that he could ever fully understand her, try as he might to connect the dots.

She was the only person to ever give him as much trouble as she did, when it came to perception of character. Naruto was loud but wise beyond his years and maturity level; Kakashi was quiet, skilled, and a closet-pervert.

But Sakura…

Sakura was soft yet harsh, graceful yet awkward, immature and wise, all at the same time. She was understanding and strong and talented, but she had her fair share of imperfections—it would take him years to list every mannerism and trait that she had.

For someone like her, to love someone like him…it was remarkable.

She was either an overwhelmingly good person, or a masochist.

He opted for both.

xXxXxXxXxXx

After much contemplation, she had decided that Sasuke was right and that she should get some sleep.

So there she lay, head resting on her pillow as she watched the blades of the ceiling fan spin around monotonously. She rolled onto her side, watching the night sky through her open window.

It was odd, that now she was in bed she had no desire to sleep.

She realized that it probably wasn't a good idea to meet him in a few hours, as her body was in desperate want of the rest she refused to give it, but she couldn't just leave him alone, either. They had a routine, and she could always go to work late or pretend to be sick.

She smiled softly, closing her eyes.

She hadn't feigned illness for anything but Naruto's birthday.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Apparently, she hadn't let herself sleep for very long; he cursed her stubbornness halfheartedly as he lay down in the grass, waiting.

She was most definitely a masochist, to force her body to stay awake for him when it most blatantly did not want to. He sighed, closing his tired eyes against the sudden light as the sun broke the horizon line, bathing the village in a golden-red light. He resisted the urge reopen them when she lay down beside him.

The familiar silence stretched between the two, never uncomfortable, as the sky steadily turned grey-gold.

"What are we?" came her quiet voice, soft and questioning.

Ebony eyes opened, regarding her carefully; she was staring steadily at the sunrise, delicate fingers laced atop her stomach.

What were they, indeed. No matter how many times he asked himself that question, he had yet to figure it out. They weren't friends, and they weren't comrades; their relationship was about late-night conversations—if what little they spoke could constitute conversation—and watching the sunrise. It was routine and strange and it was the only thing that kept him sane, but she got nothing out of it. Their relationship was both planned and random, soft and harsh. He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath of the crisp morning air.

"I don't think we have a definition."

Normally he would have walked away, but he blamed his lack of movement on two nights without sleep.

XXxXxXxXxXxxXxXxXxXxXxxXxXxXxXxXx

Submit Review wants to go fishing…oh, look! Go just bought a new boat. :)

(It is getting increasingly difficult to think of these…)

**Ja ne!**

Dani-chan 


	12. Every Day

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, because if I did, you would be watching stick figures poke each other. **

**HOLY SHIT. I'm alive. Insane.**

**So, ah, basically, the last three months (has it really been that long?) have been absolute HELL, and I won't go into detail, there, but you get the point. Family stuff kind of piled up and manifested into a massive case of writer's block, and blah. But whatever. At least I wrote the chapter, and found the cure for my writer's block in the form of a rather wonderful playlist. :D**

**Special Thanks:  
****Sakura Uchhia, Soporific, YoungSasuke, Brandy Camel, Confuzzled239, kyubiluver, kazumi kyoshira, hushhushyou, Crystal Koneko, Slytherin Kunoichi, Hanyue-Chan, icygirl2, graviola, Zelha, Kineticfairy, runwithskizzers, animevivverz, liandrin, Soporific, RasenganXChidori, mentally unstable X3, Kuro Chocobo, Chikata, curiousbrain, Kimyuri, little miss pissed off, FaitaGirl, Psyche-Wing, Marisa, Sya0ran, nejitenlee13, Sabrielle, Denied Love, emmamoonpotter, Sagitarious Devil, cottoncandyskies, Only Secret, MidnightRosebud, jaishe, une see, MeMe, purplehairedwonder, Manamoon, Serenity.Aglow, me and my story, Archerelf, une see, Kane Shi Megami, mad about books, xrose45623, Princess Attan, arham, xcrimsonwingsx, The Reminiscent of Raen, Hidden Mikomi, NazaliaSan, pink haired kunoichi, remix-er69, Lil-Fluffy-Chan, aziangirl723, 2supersmart, Hanyue-Chan, Alucius, Sasuke-kunAikoka, 4everDestined, silverkage-chan, Masked and Dangerous, DesslerAlmeida, Claud-kun, TwistedAttraction, Nyaro, darklace15, Inuzuka Nin, Incognito Temptation**

**ESPECIALLY:  
**Soporific**, because you've stuck with me even though I'm terrible at updating on time.  
**cottoncandyskies**, because Go appreciates your efforts.  
**runwithskizzers**, because your reviews always make me laugh. (and your story is amazing, don't even lie)**

**Acknowledgements:  
**Masked and Dangerous**: God, your review totally made my day. Sorry I haven't updated in ages! I'll try harder. XD  
**Brandy Camel**: Ahaha. Just for you, I'll rack my brains to think of more. XD  
**Serenity.Aglow**: I'm sorry you feel that way, but I'm just not good with writing action. And besides, speeding things up and making everyone all happy-go-lucky just doesn't seem right to me. SasuSaku is a slow-paced thing…it takes some work. I won't alter my writing style to make everyone happy.  
**cottoncandyskies**: Bahaha. Your reviews always make me chuckle. Glad you liked the analogy, by the way. I wasn't too sure if I was happy with that. :x  
**TwistedAttraction**: Thank you, for your wonderfully nice review. And thank you, also, for the criticism. As for your comment about the lack of dialogue, I don't know…somehow, the silence just seems right to me. But, hey. Maybe it's just me.  
**Soporific**: You, my friend, are wonderful. Haha. But really, your reviews always make me smile from ear to ear, despite however shitty I might be feeling. Mucho gracias. :D  
**Nyaro**: Submit Review-chan and Go appreciate your kindness, and they hope you'll keep reading, even if you have to scroll down to the bottom to see what they're doing this time first. :D  
**darklace15**: I seem to have a rather eerie obsession with eyes. Thanks, though. XD  
**Incognito Temptation**: In reference to your inquiry about the scar, I'm really not sure if that will have any significance later on or not, to be quite honest. I just kind of…put it in there, and now I'm stuck with all these questions about it. XD Oh well, we'll see. :P**

**REVIEWS ARE LOVE. :D**

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**_Chapter Twelve: Every Day_**

Sakura smiled softly, watching his chest rise and fall with the deep breathing of sleep, wondering vaguely how many hours of rest he had had this week. She yawned, closing her own eyes; lazily, she wondered how many hours of sleep she had gotten, too.

xXxXxXxXxXx

It was strangely comforting, for him to wake up and realize he wasn't alone.

She was observing him sleepily with serene green eyes, head propped up on one elbow; granting him a small smile as his head turned in her direction, he found himself wondering yet again why she was here, next to him, when all it could possibly do was bring her hurt.

He turned back to the sky, sun hidden behind a large white cloud drifting slowly by. Next to him, she sat up, stretching.

"Tea?" she offered, after a moment.

How could he refuse?

xXxXxXxXxXx

The teahouse was quiet this time of day, not that she minded much; sitting here with him was enough, enjoying the breeze as it rifled through the tiny building.

It was strange to her, to think that what seemed only a few years ago, she would have been chattering up a storm beside him, trying to get him to speak to her.

And now, it would seem, the very silence that she used to try to break as a child was the main source of her contentment.

She took another sip of her tea, watching him openly over the rim of her cup. He really was quite handsome—but then, she had always known that. He had very aristocratic features…a strong jaw, a noble nose. By comparison, she felt like an awkward toddler, with her face that was never pretty enough, legs that were never long enough. He was a full head taller than she, and she sat up a little straighter, unconsciously, setting her cup down and frowning slightly at the remainder of its contents.

If he was perfection, then she was a disaster.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Sasuke had felt her eyes on him, sensed her sudden change of mood as she placed her cup quietly back onto the wooden surface of the table. He finished his own swiftly, looking at her with just a hint of curiosity in his eyes, studying her slightly furrowed brow and noting the way she traced patterns across the wood with her nails.

How those delicate fingers were capable of both making craters and healing the most gruesome of wounds, he didn't think he would ever know.

His eyes traveled up her arm to the area where her sleeve covered the scar, over her shoulder and up her neck, eventually landing on her face. Her mouth was drawn into a slight frown, though smiles had always suited her best, and though she was looking down he could still see a sliver of jade beneath her black lashes.

Vaguely, he wondered what she was thinking; almost immediately, the corner of his mouth twitched up slightly.

He used to always know what she was thinking.

xXxXxXxXxXx

About an hour later saw Sakura sitting cross-legged under a tree outside the Hokage's tower, pen in hand, with a clipboard on her lap and a stack of papers sitting in the grass next to her, held away from the clutches of the slight wind by a slightly lumpy rock.

She took a deep breath, blowing out through her nose as she read through another long-winded medical report, scribbling notes and signing off on the bottom when she was finished, reaching for the next paper rather dejectedly.

"Sakura-chan?"

She smiled slightly, not looking up. She had sensed him coming.

"Yes, Naruto?"

"Why are you doing baa-chan's paperwork outside?"

She continued to write neatly across the page, filling in the blanks.

"Because, Naruto, it would be a waste of a perfectly nice day to sit in my office and do it." She could feel him smiling as he sat down in front of her. She looked up at him with a smirk, mischief in her eyes. "Besides, it's easier to get distracted out here."

Naruto chuckled, giving her a grin.

"Ah, Sakura-chan, I think I'm rubbing off on you." She smiled, turning back to her papers.

"Maybe."

For a long moment, there was nothing but the faint sounds of the village and her scribbling between them…not that she really cared. These days, she didn't need conversation to enjoy the company of someone she loved.

"You know," he began after a moment, and she could hear the slight smile in his voice, "I would offer to help you, but my handwriting isn't worth shit."

She laughed, continuing her notes.

"Naruto, even if you had the best writing in the village, you still wouldn't offer to help me."

He smiled sheepishly, scratching the back of his head.

"Ah, Sakura-chan…you know me too well."

xXxXxXxXxXx

Sasuke watched his two former teammates from afar, a slight frown adorning his lips as he realized yet again that she only ever seemed as she had in the teahouse this morning when she was around him.

It was to be expected, he supposed. He had left her on a bench, of all places, with nothing more than a few words of gratitude. Coming back and expecting everything to be the same was just foolish and naïve.

He glanced at the sun, realizing with a start it was a little past two o'clock. If he didn't hurry, he would be late for another pointless task.

He sighed, turning and starting off through the trees.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Sakura set the stack of completed papers down on the left side of Tsunade's sleeping head, careful not to knock over the empty sake bottles and wake her mentor.

Slipping out the door, she closed it quietly before walking down the now-deserted hallway, stretching her arms above her head and yawning widely. Normally, she had to pull a few all-nighters at the hospital for fatigue to set in, but the steady accumulation of hours without sleep since Sasuke's return was leaving her exhausted.

Stepping outside into the fresh air, she took a glance at the sun steadily sinking below the horizon and set off towards Ichiraku, ready—despite the tiredness she felt—to stay up all night once again.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Taking her seat between Sai and Naruto, it took her a moment to notice the fourth person sitting around the orange and black jacket to her left.

She leaned forward, cupping her chin in her palm, a small smile on her face, as she observed the shock of sliver hair buried behind mask and book, meal already finished before him.

"What, so you don't even say hi to me now, Kakashi-sensei?"

He snapped his orange book shut, feigning surprise, smiling beneath the fabric of his mask upon seeing her.

"Yo," came the characteristic greeting, his hand raised in a little wave.

"And for once, you're not late, either."

"Yeah, well. I wanted to see my adorable students before anything else." The corner of her mouth curved upwards knowingly before she turned to the bowl of ramen being set in front of her.

"You don't have your mission report ready for Tsunade-shishou, do you?"

"What can I say? I got lost on the road of life."

"Liar," Naruto managed between slurps.

xXxXxXxXxXx

He didn't know why it stung so much to see the four of them sitting together. Hadn't he told himself countless times that to expect everyone to be moping over his absence was foolish?

Sasuke's fists clenched and unclenched within his pockets as he strode by the stand silently, rounding the corner more quickly than usual.

He remembered a time when he was always the one sitting to Sakura's right, never wanting to be beside her but afraid to move near Naruto or Kakashi, lest he seem to be seeking companionship. Eventually, though, he had formed the very bonds he had been afraid of from the start and, as he had expected, they had caused him more harm than good.

It was still ironic and strangely humorous to him, to think that, while once he had done nothing but push her away, she was now his only remaining tie to the place he once called home.

Sitting down at the base of the tree, he gazed up at the shifting leaves as he so often did, wondering at how their delicate stems kept them from being swept away by the wind. If he were the leaf, he thought, doomed to be forever rattled by whatever breeze came by, then Sakura would be the stem, doing her best to keep him steady and anchoring him to sanity, though she herself was in danger of snapping off with him if the wind became too strong.

He sighed, eyes drawn down to watch her approach him, white throat exposed as she gazed at the stars, her pace slow. She was tired. He had been keeping her awake, and though he knew this, he said nothing as she sat down to his right, as always.

His selfishness really astounded him, sometimes.

xXxXxXxXxXx

On a normal day, she would have been asleep by now, or at least on her way home to get some sleep.

Leaning her head back against the trunk of the tree, she closed her eyes, feeling the fatigue wash over her body and yearning for her nice, soft bed at home.

Sakura realized, with a vague, twisted sense of amusement, that Sasuke had always managed to coax her away from her normal routines. She also realized, however, that as much as their encounters aggravated her and deprived her body of rest, she secretly took comfort in the fact that she had him all to herself for a few hours every day.

It wasn't a happiness like in her genin days, when the only way she was ever really cheery was when she was latched onto his arm…it went deeper than that.

It was more like a sense of contentment, achievable only by sitting next to him—exhausted or not—or watching him sleep, or simply drinking tea together, as they had done this morning. For so long, he had been so untouchable. He had been so far away, even when he was still in Konoha, and even though they had been on the same team, they had never been on the same wavelength.

She remembered the way he always used to call her weak with a pang in her chest, hoping that she was good enough now and berating herself for it a heartbeat later.

Their expertise lay in different fields entirely. Who was he to judge her, when he knew so little about her line of work? Who was he to judge her, when he had been gone practically all her life?

Deep down, she knew that she still sought his approval.

Because she loved him, and because his constant put-downs when they were younger had been the lone source of fuel for her determination to prove herself.

xXxXxXxXxXx

As the minutes stretched by, he realized dully that this was probably the longest they'd gone without saying anything.

Well, when they weren't sleeping, anyway.

Sasuke wondered for a moment if she had fallen asleep, but dismissed the thought quickly. Her breathing wasn't quite deep enough for unconsciousness, and her chakra signature would have dimmed more than usual if she had.

As if on cue, her head tilted toward him and he shifted his gaze to look into her tired eyes.

"Care to go for a walk?"

She always asked, as if he might have somewhere else to be.

xXxXxXxXxXx

He was walking beside her tonight, something he hadn't done before—not that she was complaining.

Sakura really didn't have a clue where her feet were taking her until she strode past Ichiraku and rounded the corner, a rather familiar road coming into view. She was actually rather proud of herself, when her steps didn't falter upon seeing the bench—even more so, when she sat down and the tears didn't come.

She turned to look at him, standing a little ways off, confused; her beryl eyes carried with her look a silent plea. After a moment's hesitation, he took a seat beside her, and silence engulfed them.

As did the memories, like she had both dreaded and hoped.

xXxXxXxXxXx

It hadn't taken him very long to figure out where she was taking him; what he couldn't figure out, however, was why she had taken him here.

But when he sat down, he knew the reason why.

This was the road where everything had stopped, where he had been abruptly thrust into the world of adulthood, a world full of malice and grief. This was where everything had begun its steady trip back around to smack him in the face, where he had given up on Konoha and surrendered himself to what he had thought then would be his demise. This was where he had corrupted himself beyond help, said his silent goodbyes to Kakashi and Naruto.

Where she had professed her love, and he had left her on the very bench he was now sitting upon.

She had brought him here because she wanted him to remember.

xXxXxXxXxXx

His stoic façade was still carefully in place, but Sakura could tell by the way his black eyes stared at nothing that he was lost in the memories, as she usually was when she came down this road.

She always felt strangely masochistic when she sat here.

She reveled in the pain, the thoughts, the agonizing remembrance, because for a very long time it was all she had to hold onto. Remembering his face on that night while she sat here always made it a little more tangible, made the idea of getting him home a little more believable.

She took a deep breath of the cool night air, tipping her head back and gazing at the constellations whose names she could never seem to memorize.

"Do you ever regret it?"

xXxXxXxXxXx

Drawn out of his mini-reverie, Sasuke had no trouble finding the question amusing, with his twisted sense of humor.

He had often asked himself the very same question during the laps he took past her apartment in the hours between day and night, when the nightmares chased him from his own home.

Needless to say, he had never found the answer.

There were plenty of things to regret in his life, he supposed, from a normal perspective, and he would be lying if he said that he hadn't felt remorse for leaving now that he had returned. He had thrown his life away, submitted to the wishes and plans of someone he had grown to hate, all for this hole in his chest that didn't ever seem to disappear.

On the one hand, he had completed his goal and obtained power that had—for a very long time—seemed far out of his reach. He had learned things most shinobi could only dream of mastering, killed a Sannin and an S-Class criminal, and he was still alive to talk about it. There was a lot there to envy, from someone else's point of view, he realized.

But there was also a lot to be ashamed of.

He had abandoned everything he had once cherished, ripped apart the people he had come to see, however grudgingly, as friends from the inside out. Hell, he had nearly killed Naruto—twice.

And sitting here, with her, made him realize how much of a sick joke the past five years had been.

He had told himself time and time again while he was away that he was doing what he wanted to be doing, that every step was his choice. But every step he had taken, Itachi had wanted him to take. There had never been a time in his life when he hadn't strived to be better, yearned for more strength so that he could one day face off with the person he had sworn to kill, just as that very person had wanted him to do. Every muscle honed, every piece of information stowed away, every technique perfected it was all for his dear brother.

For the first time, he was utterly disgusted with his body.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Beside her, Sasuke stood, shoving his hands into his pockets; Sakura looked up, confused, to see him gazing at the starry abyss above them as she had been doing just moments ago.

"Every day."

And as he walked away, in the opposite direction in which he had left her all those years ago, she realized that what they had now—this lopsided relationship without a definition—was more important to her than anything had ever been in a long, long time.

XXxXxXxXxXxxXxXxXxXxXxxXxXxXxXxXx

**Submit Review-chan needs some sugar, but she doesn't seem to have any. Oh, dear…guess she'll have to get some from Go. Care to walk her over?**

**Ja ne!  
****_Dani-chan_**


	13. Worth Living For

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, because if I did, you would be watching stick figures poke each other. **

**AAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!**

**This shit was a pain in the ass. I'm not even kidding. BUT IT'S HERE, DAMN IT! Even if I reallyreallyreally hate it, especially the end, but oh well. I'm honestly not in the mood to fix it. I've tried reworking it…and I can't. I'm too lame.**

**Uhhh, sorry about the…how long has it been? Like, six month delay. Damn. Has it really been that long? Shit, I'm really sorry. Haha. But between starting high school and going to England and juggling a social life, it's kind of difficult to find the time to write anymore.**

**SPEAKING OF ENGLAND, it was a total blast. I had loads of fun. And guesssss what? My birthday is soon! Yay! Fifteen:D**

**In other news, I'm pretty sure this is the longest I've ever made this. So I'll stop rambling and get down to business.**

**Uh, I intend to edit this as soon as I'm finished with it. Because, honestly, going back and rereading chapters 1-9, they sucked. Major balls.**

**Also, the end is near…quite literally. I woke up one morning and I was like "WHOA! INSPIRATION ATTACK!" So I got out of bed and started writing on my whiteboard, and its been there for about three months. Haha.**

**OH! And if you're looking for updates on how I'm doing as far as progress on the next chapter, seriously, guys, add me on MySpace, haha. I talk more about where I'm at as far as this story goes than I do anywhere else. Just send me a message first so I know you're not some creepy pedophile dude from Atlanta or something. Links are in my bio.**

**Uhm…that's about it. Recommended songs for reading: "Love Song Requiem" by Trading Yesterday, "Your Love Song" and "Surrender" by Angela Aki, and "Window" by The Album Leaf.**

**Special Thanks:  
****Sakura Uchhia, Soporific, YoungSasuke, Brandy Camel, Confuzzled239, kyubiluver, kazumi kyoshira, hushhushyou, Crystal Koneko, Slytherin Kunoichi, Hanyue-Chan, icygirl2, graviola, Zelha, Kineticfairy, runwithskizzers, animevivverz, liandrin, Soporific, RasenganXChidori, mentally unstable X3, Kuro Chocobo, Chikata, curiousbrain, Kimyuri, little miss pissed off, FaitaGirl, Psyche-Wing, Marisa, Sya0ran, nejitenlee13, Sabrielle, Denied Love, emmamoonpotter, Sagitarious Devil, cottoncandyskies, Only Secret, MidnightRosebud, jaishe, une see, MeMe, purplehairedwonder, Manamoon, Serenity.Aglow, me and my story, Archerelf, une see, Kane Shi Megami, mad about books, xrose45623, Princess Attan, arham, xcrimsonwingsx, The Reminiscent of Raen, Hidden Mikomi, NazaliaSan, pink haired kunoichi, remix-er69, Lil-Fluffy-Chan, aziangirl723, 2supersmart, Hanyue-Chan, Alucius, Sasuke-kunAikoka, 4everDestined, silverkage-chan, Masked and Dangerous, DesslerAlmeida, Claud-kun, TwistedAttraction, Nyaro, darklace15, Inuzuka Nin, Incognito Temptation, olhai.lirios, fleeting thought, insaneteacup, charl, kinomoto blossom, lepetitchat, pinkLaLa-o3, Whii-chan, Kawaii IceCream, the blanket, Darkofthenight, Sienna Maiu, clenalyn, serenitydreemz, SnowballoC, sakura9898, DeviouslyEeyore, nhix, 00vixey00,**

**ESPECIALLY:  
**Soporific**, because super long reviews are totally bomb.  
**cottoncandyskies**, because you work a chuckle out of me every time.  
**runwithskizzers**, because Dani misses you. D:**

**Acknowledgements:  
**insaneteacup**: Thank you for the very nice review. And I know things have been getting a touch repetitive…that's the only downside to having to write a new chapter each…well, whenever I get around to it: I always forget about what I wrote. Haha, seriously, I have the worst memory ever. Thanks again, though. And I enjoyed the chocolates.  
**Whii-chan**: AAAH! You made me feel wonderful with that last review…seriously. I will proudly flash around your first review to everyone, hahaa. XD  
**cottoncandyskies**: You always find a way to make me laugh with your tiny Submit Review-chan and Go stories, haha. I love it.  
**the blanket**: Well…I sure hope I can make you cry, haha. That means I'm doing my job, because only good books ever make us cry, right? Like the last Harry Potter book. I was freaking bawling, I swear…  
**Sienna Maiu**: I'm so glad you took the time to read my story…all of your reviews made me smile, haha. I'm glad you think I'm funny…because, honestly, people tend to mistake my humor for weirdness. Not that that's a bad thing…maybe it's a little of both? Idk. But thanks for the reviews anyway, haha! And I'm sorry I'm not answering any of the questions you asked but I'm damned tired and lazy and you are a _very_ curious person. Haha. XD  
**Sagitarious Devil**: Thank you sosososoooo much for all your wonderful reviews. They make me smile super big. Like, 'ouchohgodmymouthhurts' big. Haha.  
**serenitydreemz**: Aw, I feel special to be on your favorites list at all. I will send you a fruit basket someday to express my eternal gratitude. :D  
**SnowballoC**: Uh…I don't think that particular topic will be brought up by either of them anytime soon, haha.  
**runwithskizzers**: I miss your writing, lovely. FOR REALZ. D:  
**xrose45623**: So sorry I haven't been updating very frequently. It's just hard, you know? Uh, I'm not sure exactly how many chapters. But honestly, probably only a few more.  
**00vixey00**: I LOVE YOU. Hahaaa, but really, your reviews totally made my day. Week. Whatever. I can't remember, it was a long time ago, but I do love you and that is final. C:  
**Soporific**: Agh, I love tea, too. I'm going to have terrible teeth stains when I'm older, haha.And…I'm pretty sure Sakura's eyelashes are black. They are in the anime, haha. XD  
**Brandy Camel**: You always find a way to make some form of beverage come out of my mouth. Or nose. THANKS A LOT, BRANS. NOW MY KEYBOARD IS STICKY. **

**So many acknowledgements…aaaah. Uh…reviews get you free Starbucks. No lies. Or smoothies if, y'know, you're crazy and don't like coffee or something.**

xXxXxXxXxXxxXxXxXxXxXxxXxXxXxXxXx

**_Chapter Thirteen: Worth Living For_**

Sleep eluded her.

Sakura sat on her bed before the window, forehead pressed against the glass as she watched the water drain in rivulets before her eyes.

She had always enjoyed the rain—the smell and taste were something she always looked forward to. But sitting here, in her empty room, staring out past silvery streams of water into the blackness of night, she suddenly felt very lonely.

Closing her eyes, she pressed her palm flat against the cool glass, feeling the heat leave her fingers.

For the first time since his return, she felt utterly chilled to the core. With all noise drowned out by the rain—even the ticking of the clock behind her on the wall—one could truly be convinced that they were completely alone in the world.

Opening her green eyes, now shimmering with a silver all their own, she stared into her opaque reflection and wondered vaguely if this is what Sasuke had felt like so many years ago.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Sasuke woke with a start, choking on his own panicked breath before leaning over the side of his bed and emptying the contents of his stomach onto the floor.

He shut his eyes tightly, clenching his teeth as he propped himself on one elbow, breathing deeply and trying to force down the bile continuing to rise in the back of his throat.

He had to admit, it was much harder to concentrate with the face of his dead mother burned into his eyelids.

xXxXxXxXxXx

The rain had slowed but not let up as the sun crept steadily over the horizon behind the grey clouds, bathing everything it touched in a pale blue light.

Sakura stood beneath the awning outside the main hospital doors, peering out through the haze of rain. If she strained her eyes hard enough, she could barely make out the crimson top of the Hokage tower.

Taking a deep breath, she stepped out into the icy drizzle and headed towards the outskirts of town, ignoring the cries of the receptionist telling her she had forgotten her umbrella.

Sakura smiled softly, suddenly feeling quite warm.

She never used it, anyway.

xXxXxXxXxXx

The last time he had sat on this dock he had been eight years old, making a vow that he would someday kill his brother.

Back then, he had spent days staring at his reflection, seeing nothing but a scared little boy without a family—a weak excuse of a shinobi, afraid to care and hiding behind a mask of false indifference.

Standing here today, hands deep in his pockets, Sasuke stared down into a face half-obscured by rainwater but still quite clear.

Secretly, he didn't think his reflection had changed all that much.

He sighed deeply, tilting his head back and staring up at the grey sky above. He was soaked to the skin and chilled to the bone, but he ignored the discomfort as he had ignored so many things in his life. You learned to live with what you didn't like, to surpass and master it. In the shinobi world, it was one of those things you just knew and did.

Now, thinking back on this lesson in the academy, Sasuke frowned. His entire life had been about surpassing and mastering, becoming stronger and learning new and deadly techniques so that, one day, he could fulfill the vow he made to himself so long ago.

And just where had he wound up?

He was still in almost every bingo book out there, labeled as an S-class criminal. Here, in the village he had grown up in, he was regarded as a traitor—trash, even, and subjected to menial tasks far below what his rank should be.

Lowering his head, Sasuke snorted softly.

No, not trash…he was far worse than that.

xXxXxXxXxXx

It was strange, seeing Sasuke like that. He was sitting on the edge of the dock near the old Uchiha district, hands loosely gripping the edge and shoulders slumped. He looked so small, so…defeated.

Sakura was used to Sasuke standing tall and erect—back straight, shoulders back, chin up. It was just…to be expected of him. He was a prodigy, he was supposed to be perfect. Everyone perceived him as such, and Sakura knew what a heavy burden that could be.

In the hospital, everyone was always fawning over her skills as a medic-nin. It was always _Sakura-san's so great_ this and _Sakura-san's so wonderful_ that…having everyone think you're perfect makes it so hard not to be, makes the smallest mistakes the greatest disasters.

She found herself wishing that he had had the chance to have a normal childhood—without the extra expectations. She found herself wishing he didn't have those goddamn eyes of his, that the fan on his back was just the latest trend.

Maybe then he could have been happy, and maybe then he wouldn't have had to suffer.

She smiled bitterly to herself.

Maybe then she wouldn't have fallen in love with the wrong boy.

xXxXxXxXxXx

"You're going to catch a cold if you stay out there in the rain."

Sasuke straightened himself, looking over his shoulder in surprise. Sure enough, there she stood, hands clasped loosely behind her back, watching him with those cool green eyes and soft smile.

He remembered when he had used those same words on her his first night out of the hospital. He noted, dully, that at least this time she wasn't carrying an umbrella when she wasn't going to use it.

His eyes followed her as she slowly made her way up to him, sitting down. She stared off across the water, and he studied her face. Their knees were touching, but he didn't mind. It was bitingly cold in these wet clothes, and for once he was grateful for her closeness.

Dragging his eyes back to look across the lake with her through a screen of water, Sasuke asked the question that had been eating away at him yet again.

"Why do you bother with me?"

She turned her face to look at him, a curious look on her face.

"I've already answered that question."

"And I still don't understand."

xXxXxXxXxXx

Sakura felt her brow furrow, lips drawn into a small frown. He wasn't looking at her, so she peered out across the water again.

She had asked herself this question many, many times during the silences they shared, and especially during the nights when she came home and found no sleep. And each time, she always came back to the same answer.

"Because I love you," she said quietly, so soft even she almost didn't catch it over the rain. But she knew he would. He always did.

"Why?"

She turned to look at him, eyes softening. Love, she realized, was not something that Sasuke had ever—or would ever—have the chance to fully comprehend. For him, love was disappointment and hurt. Love was something to be avoided. He didn't realize the feeling or warmth it could give because he had never had the opportunity to really think about it.

He was only eight when Itachi had murdered their family. Sasuke had been a frighteningly smart little boy, but he was, underneath it all, just a little boy, and little boys didn't bother themselves with thinking about things like love until they were much older.

But, Sakura thought, Sasuke had never really grown any older at all. Because, honestly, underneath all of his coldness and underneath all of his harsh remarks, he was still just that same, scared little boy who had come home one night to a dead family and a harsh, cruel reality.

She smiled sadly at him, turning slightly to press a hand over his chest.

"Because of who you are in here."

He looked at her strangely, then, as if it were the most confusing thing she had ever said to him. And, of course, it probably was; Sasuke knew little of love.

"Are you sure…there's something there anymore?"

xXxXxXxXxXx

His voice was slow, steady. He didn't trust himself enough to speak any more than that, lest his tone waver.

Her smile spread, a warmth sparking in her eyes that he wondered at. How she could be so cold, wet and miserable, and in the worst company she could ever be in, and still have that shine in her cool eyes, he didn't think he would ever know.

"It's still beating, isn't it?"

And maybe it was her smile, or her words, or the fact that his heart was, in fact, still beating, but Sasuke felt that wall he built around himself falter, just a little. And he cursed himself, for allowing this one little weak brick in the form of the girl across from him to get so close, because she was breaking down all his defenses just so easily, as if he hadn't worked hard at all to put them up. He blamed her for working her way in, for tearing everything down.

But a second later, he took it back.

Because, honestly, she was probably the best thing that had ever happened to him.

xXxXxXxXxXx

It was the first time they had come here during the day.

It was also, Sakura reminded herself, the first time they had come here together, and the first time that they had sat back against the tree, side by side, shoulders touching.

She watched the now light rain gently fall into the puddles spread before them in the street, each drop leaving intricate patterns in the tiny bodies of water. Transfixed, she followed each ripple as it spread, hit another, and bounced back, over and over again. It was almost a dance—languid, slow, and monotonous, but beautiful in its own unique way.

Every so often, however, a ripple would go on, uninterrupted, and meet the other side of the small puddle, making it larger.

Sakura wondered that such a small drop could have such a big effect. The puddle was made of millions of drops, but that last one always manages to set all the others off, make the biggest difference yet.

She hoped, silently, that she could make a difference like that for him.

xXxXxXxXxXx

The leaves above gently dipped and bounced back up as water slithered down their lengths and dropped from their tips in perfect little ovals.

Sasuke wondered if the leaves were always curved like that, to catch and deposit the water below them, for the roots of the tree to absorb. Or did they just gradually, over time, bend from the relentless weight of the water, resigned to their fate?

He thought for a long moment, staring up into the grey-green canopy above, before he realized that he was thinking entirely too small.

The leaves weren't a single body, all their own. They were connected to the stems, which in turn connected to branches, which connected to the trunk, which led down to the roots far below. The entire tree was a system, evolving and working on its own to survive and live and compensate for the goals of each part. The leaves wished to capture sunlight; the stems, to support the leaves; the branches wanted to support life; the trunk, to grow; the roots, to make everything above them thrive.

A tree was like a shinobi village—everyone working together to make things right. The villagers hired ninja who needed the money, and the ninja did the work required of them while protecting everyone around them.

Sasuke frowned, dipping his head to stare at the fence across from them.

A tree was like a team of ninja, supporting and helping each other, compensating for goals and aspirations.

It would seem, he realized, that he had always been thinking too small.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Sakura took a deep breath, savoring the fresh scent of rain as the damp air filled her lungs.

She wrapped her arms around herself, the cold wetness of her clothes finally becoming almost too much to handle. She turned her head too look at him, indifferent or just ignoring his discomfort as always, though she knew he must be freezing.

"Let's go someplace warm," she said softly, standing.

She didn't hear him get up, but she knew he would follow her.

xXxXxXxXxXx

They were sitting side by side at a small table, steaming cups in their hands and water dripping onto the teahouse floor beneath them.

The small man behind the counter kept giving them odd looks, and as Sasuke took another long drink he asked himself whether it was because they were soaked or because of who they were.

Either way, he honestly didn't care.

Setting his cup down silently, he watched as her hand began to trace patterns over the tabletop with her nails again; he wondered when she had picked up the habit. It had to have been sometime after he left, he reasoned, otherwise he surely would have noticed.

The corners of his mouth turned down, faintly.

He had missed so much.

It was strange, how many things could happen in such a small amount of time. How many moments had passed between his departure and his return, how many small details had he not noticed in his absence? Five years was a long time…a very long time. Sasuke had known all along that she was different, that nothing was really the same.

But he had never really realized just how much she had changed until now.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Sakura stared down into the bottom of her cup, one hand gently sloshing around the contents as the other absently moved across the table.

She had never really liked coming to teahouses in the past. They had either been too quiet or loud for her liking, and she honestly couldn't understand how someone could sit for hours with their companion, drinking tea and eating dumplings.

Sitting here now, however, she thought she finally understood. When you had the right company, nothing else really mattered as long as you were in their presence.

She smiled slightly, a gentle quirk of the lips.

Some good tea helped, too.

She took a sip of hers, reveling in its warmth, before slowly setting her cup down and gazing out across the street through the slight drizzle of rain.

She had the right company…but, really, she was only fooling herself. Sasuke was here because he had nowhere else to go. She was really his only remaining link to the place he had once called home.

Naruto, she knew, would love to be spending as much time with Sasuke as she was…but with his recent promotion to jounin status, he was just so busy. And as far as Kakashi-sensei went…he felt too guilty to simply walk up to his former student and start a conversation.

Which left her, his last resort, and surely the last person he'd want to be stuck with.

Sakura nipped at her bottom lip, fingers curling around her small mug of tea.

"Sasuke…what will you do now?"

xXxXxXxXxXx

He looked at her curiously, but it soon became apparent that she was neither going to meet his gaze nor clarify her question.

"What do you mean?" he asked quietly, continuing to watch her. Silence continued to hang between them for a long moment before she gathered herself together enough to look up at him.

"Everyone needs something to live for."

xXxXxXxXxXx

Sasuke blinked, somewhat taken aback.

Something to live for? He didn't have anything like that, not anymore—all of his aspirations had died along with his brother. His goal had been accomplished, and now he had nothing but nightmares and a cold house to show for it. Hell, if anything, he just felt dirty…he had killed his own brother, the one person he was supposed to look up to.

He snorted softly.

So much for that.

Sasuke turned away from her bright eyes, staring across the street through the drizzle of rain. Something to live for…surely, he could find something. He would strive to regain his ninja rank? To be a better person? To…what?

And then it hit him, like a blow to the chest.

It was a wonder he had managed to get by, his stupidity was so great.

"I've…already found something to live for."

She seemed surprised.

"And…what's that?" she asked him, voice soft, hesitant.

He made it a point to look her in the eye, gaze unwavering.

"Do you honestly need to ask me that?"

XXxXxXxXxXxxXxXxXxXxXxxXxXxXxXxXx

**Submit Review-chan would really like a copy of Monster Hunter 3…BUT IT'S NOT GOING TO BE RELEASED IN AMERICA! OH NOES!**

**Howeverrrr, there's a rumor that Go has two tickets to Japan…you should be nice and help her verify it. :D**

**Ja ne!  
_Dani-chan_**


	14. Strength and Weakness

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Not even a little tiny blonde hair. **

**WOWZA! Okay, only a two month delay this time! HUZZAHHH!**

**Anyway. Yeah. Well, I've had a lot going on lately, what with finals and all. And then, somehow, I wound up with a World of Warcraft character and loaddddds of free time over winter break and…yeah. Well. You know how that goes.**

**And then we had to put my dog to sleep, and I've had her since I was but a wee little thing, so that was really hard. And of course, we all know I'm susceptible to writer's block like…well. I was going to come up with something witty to write here, but I can't think of anything.**

**But the good thing is, CHAPTER FOURTEEN IS HEREEEE! Yeah:D  
****I'm afraid to say that I'm actually satisfied with this chapter, because I know that as soon as I say that you're all going to tell me you hate it, but whatever. I AM SATISFIED. RAAAR.**

**My musical inspiration varied over the two weeks it took me to finish writing this. It started with "Umbrella" by The Postal Service, then "Sleep" by Azure Ray, and lastly (most importantly) "Your Love Song" by Angela Aki. Damn…that song always gets my flow going. :D**

**Oh…and, uh, Happy New Year, everyone. Welcome to 2008….what's your resolution?  
****LEAVE ME A REVIEW TELLING ME. :D**

**Special Thanks:  
****Soporific, YoungSasuke, Brandy Camel, hushhushyou, graviola, Zelha, Kineticfairy, runwithskizzers, Sagitarious Devil, cottoncandyskies, MidnightRosebud, jaishe, Masked and Dangerous, DesslerAlmeida, Claud-kun, TwistedAttraction, Nyaro, darklace15, Inuzuka Nin, Incognito Temptation, olhai.lirios, fleeting thought, insaneteacup, charl, kinomoto blossom, lepetitchat, pinkLaLa-o3, Whii-chan, Kawaii IceCream, the blanket, Darkofthenight, Sienna Maiu, clenalyn, serenitydreemz, SnowballoC, sakura9898, DeviouslyEeyore, nhix, 00vixey00, Only Secret, jami16, Alucius, hibiscussummoner, Captain Stu, xrose45623, 20 Thousand Leagues, Pure Essence, RLO, keigojin, icygirl2, DeepFreeze, yourdarkdesire, tarzi-kins, nhix, BastetAzazis, Sabaku no Senshi, PrincessLazyPants, Arella, eeeee.eee.eeee, Pearl Drop Rain, Dattabayo, Teefie, fuu-nk, mak0-ch1, Ribs On The Run, Bea.., FlamedraSeer7213, iFo0l**

**ESPECIALLY:  
**Soporific**, because I love your reviews.  
**cottoncandyskies**, because I love the mini romances you write for Go and Review-chan, haha!  
**runwithskizzers**, because you always manage to make me laugh (and smile with both glee and pride). And because you're a really great author.**

**Acknowledgements:  
**Only Secret**: Well…if I update in two months instead of six can I still have the brownies:D  
**runwithskizzers**: So I think you're one of those people who's really cute and funny and charming on the outside, but really you're just plotting to destroy the world. That's my theory, anyway. Haha, thank you sososo much for your support and your reviews…I'm always looking forward to what you have to say. Seriously. And you really need to write more often, too.  
**xrose45623**: Your review was very much appreciated…and I have no intentions of leaving this story to rot and die when it's so close to the end, so no worries.  
**Kineticfairy**: Wow…when I read that I was pretty much giddy like a little schoolgirl. That was really…wow. Haha, I'm glad you like this so much…reviews like that one give me the drive to keep going even when I'm trying to balance out too many things at once.  
**Brandy Camel**: THERE YOU GO AGAIN. You and your effortless funny…pfft…  
**RLO**: Yay! Glad you've enjoyed it so far…but you're actually pretty lucky that you never found this until now, because I'm, like, terrible with deadlines. Haha!  
**Nyaro**: Your review made me smile ridiculously big. I was like "Aw, shucks…" and then I realized "CRAP! Now I have to work hard to make the ending really, really good!" Haha, thank you very much. And glad you liked the song.  
**Sagitarious Devil**: I know it was cliché, I know…but I couldn't help it! It was just so perfect, haha! And I'm a sucker for the sweet stuff, despite the nature of this fic. XD  
**cottoncandyskies**: You still make me laugh, every time. Haha. Thank you for the wonderful reviewsssss!  
**Dattabayo**: Thank you! And…yes. A happy ending is in store, I promise.  
**Teefie**: I love you. Haha! No, but really, I was so happy when I read your review. :D  
**FlamedraSeer7213**: I'm glad you've enjoyed it so far! I really hope the rest will live up to your expectations. Thank you sooooo so much!  
**iFo0l**: Thank you for the review…I'm sorry, again, for the repetitiveness. For a while I was honestly getting really tired of this story, so I was just trying to get chapters over and done with. I'll try to work on that.**

**Reviews are love, sooo….SEND ME SOME LOVIN'!**

xXxXxXxXxXxxXxXxXxXxXxxXxXxXxXxXx

**_Chapter Fourteen: Strength and Weakness_**

It had stopped raining about an hour ago, but it was still cold and the vestiges of mist hung around damp alleyways and a heavier fog flowed in through the two red entrance gates of the village.

Before these gates stood Sasuke, a lone, dark figure in the mist.

He was still soaked from the earlier downpour, but now Sakura was gone and nearly all the villagers were huddled around their fires in their homes, leaving an aching sense of melancholy loneliness about the normally cheerful place.

He sighed heavily, staring off into the forest just beyond the gates. For Sasuke, freedom had always been so close…yet so painfully forbidden. Even before he had abandoned Konoha, he had always felt tied to this place. They had suppressed him and bound him to a teacher with the sharingan in the hopes that he would remain here, always watching, always scolding him for thinking about his dead family and brother.

Sasuke turned from the gates, walking back in the direction of his apartment.

His chains were even tighter, now.

Oh, the irony.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Her clothes were fresh and dry, but her unusually pink hair was still wet and dripping down the nape of her neck.

She cupped her chin in one hand, staring at the glass before her, unseeing, even as her other hand formed shapes in the condensation there.

Sakura was certain that Sasuke had been genuine in what he had said to her, but she couldn't help but worry over their last conversation. The more time they spent together, the closer she felt to him, the more time she wanted to spend with him. She had never been any less in love with Sasuke, regardless of all the years she spent denying it. But now that it came down to it, she wasn't so sure she was ready to take the plunge again.

Unrequited love is meant to remain that way, after all.

The pot of water on the stove in the kitchen gave a sharp, sudden whistle, breaking her from her reverie.

She stared for a long moment at the ghost of a familiar fan in the misted window before swiping her hand across it and making her way down the hall.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Sasuke almost never meditated.

It was supposed to relax you, make your mind sharper, and, in some forms, was meant to help you sleep.

Sasuke hated relaxing. It made him feel vulnerable. His mind was already quite sharp, and he could never sleep well anyway, so what was the point?

But, hell, there was nothing else to do in his apartment.

He focused on breathing, first…in and out, nice and slow…long, deep breaths to oxygenate the blood and deliver more air throughout his system. Once he had that down, he moved on to chakra control.

You were supposed to move it in gentle waves throughout your chakra highways. Let the energy steadily ripple through your body; let it flow out and in, back and forth. However, during the rare occasions when he did meditate, Sasuke just liked to let it go. He let his control slip, let his energy roam throughout his body freely. It felt good, just letting go, in general, for one minute or one hour. It wasn't a rush, all that power rippling through him; it wasn't exciting or dangerous, it was just…easy. Calming. Rejuvenating.

Suddenly, his chakra sucked back to its normal web of controlled power, his breathing returned to normal. Sasuke opened his eyes, frowning.

It was how he felt when he was around Sakura.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Sakura made a sour face as she took a sip of her tea, wondering why it was so bitter…she made it just the same as she always did.

Setting the cup back down on the surface of her tiny kitchen table, she curled her fingers tightly around the warm porcelain, staring at her small hands. A lot of people gawked at the size of them after seeing her strength, but Sakura had never really classified it like that—power.

It was just a matter of knowing when to release your chakra…more brains than brawn, really. She had always been that way, ever since Team 7 first formed. A lot of people would also gawk at her when she told them she was a medic after she had just punched her way through a wall. To Sakura, however, the two things were nearly the same…careful chakra manipulation, precise control, and release at the right moment.

Some people would call it an amazing power.

Sakura, usually, would tell them to look at Naruto.

She wrinkled her nose as she finished her bitter tea, staring down at the dregs distastefully.

Vaguely, she asked herself if things would ever go back to normal.

Snorting softly, she realized she really didn't want them to.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Sasuke stared down into his small mug of tea and wondered when, exactly, it had started tasting so bad when he drank it alone.

He sighed softly and poured the remainder down the sink, filling a glass of water instead. He faintly remembered his father scolding him for wasting anything, when he was small. Then again, he also remembered his father always favoring Itachi, so it was rather hard for him to care, these days.

He had nearly made it down the hall and into his bedroom when a sharp rapping sounded at his door. He stood there for a long moment, staring at the dark wooden surface and wondering why someone would be visiting him and how they would know he was home before he realized that, whoever it was, it was substantially rude to just make them stand there. Swinging the door ajar, he opened his mouth to ask his visitor what they wanted only to find the landing before his apartment quite empty. Brow furrowed, he stepped outside, the cold touch of metal brushing against his bare feet in the process. Automatically he stepped back, head snapping down.

He stared at the object for a long moment before bending down and taking it in his hands with a soft smirk, running his thumb over the familiar scratch in his old forehead protector.

He exhaled sharply through his nose.

"Dobe."

xXxXxXxXxXx

The tiny ramen house was blissfully warm compared to the chilled night behind them.

Sakura pushed her face far closer than necessary to her steaming bowl of half-gone noodles, trying to warm her face and coax away the flushed pink of her frigid nose.

"It's not supposed to be this cold yet," she muttered sulkily to no one in particular. "It's still spring!"

"Hm," Naruto managed thoughtfully through a mouthful of his favorite food, glancing out at the low mist that still clung to the unusually cold village. His cobalt eyes narrowed, and the boy turned back around in his seat, crossing his arms in what she knew was supposed to be a pose of serious contemplation. She hid her smile behind a small hand, thinking that it was rather hard to take him seriously with his cheeks puffed out, full of soup.

After a moment he swallowed, nodding wisely.

"It's a metaphor, Sakura-chan."

She lowered her hand, smile cracking wider as she watched him pick up his chopsticks once more.

"For what?"

He looked at her, his serious façade beginning to crumble. There was mirth in his eyes and his lips were quivering from trying to hold in one of his famous grins.

"Well, the teme's practically a walking icicle so—"

"Naruto!" she laughed, swatting his arm playfully. "You're awful!"

"Aw, Sakura-chan," he pouted, "you know it's true, though…"

"_Naruto!_"

xXxXxXxXxXx

She was smiling as she walked up to him.

It wasn't the usual soft smile she gave him, nor was it one she plastered on in a vain attempt at keeping her thoughts to herself.

Her cheeks were pink with cold and laughter; her eyes were glittering, lips parted in what was the most genuine smile she had ever given him.

Secretly, he thought it suited her quite nicely.

She stopped in front of him, glancing down the street before her eyes came back to his, green and bright in the moonlight.

"Walk with me?" she asked him, the same as she always did. He found it mildly amusing, that she still gave him the choice, as if he might have somewhere else to go, some other engagement.

But that didn't stop him from nodding as he stood, because he knew that somewhere, deep down, he was grateful that she always gave him the option to refuse—despite the fact that he knew he never would.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Sasuke had expected her to lead him to many places, but the old bridge was not one of them.

He leaned against the railing to her right, watching her face carefully as she stared across the shallow water. The smile still lingered at the corners of her lips, quirking them upwards slightly regardless of the horrible weather; laughter still glimmered somewhere in the depths of her soft green eyes.

She seemed so at ease, so comfortable and carefree.

Suddenly, he felt like he shouldn't be there. He didn't belong in her life—she deserved far better than him…whatever he was to her. They were at different ends of the spectrum entirely, in every aspect of life. She was everything he wasn't and everything he could not be, and he was…

Hell, he didn't even know what he had that could possibly appeal to her. He was a selfish bastard, and he knew it—everything he had done in his life had been for his own purposes, up until now. And when all was said in done, all he had left was Sakura.

His brow furrowed, the ghost of a frown passing over his face as he averted his eyes out across the gurgling stream.

No…no, that wasn't true. Sakura wasn't a last resort, wasn't something to pass the time with, wasn't a buffer for his loneliness.

She was just…just…

He turned to look at her again, only to have their eyes meet.

Honestly…he couldn't find the right words to describe exactly what she was to him. And strangely, it was suddenly a lot harder to think while she was looking at him.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Sakura could see his confusion in the tiny furrow between his brows and the slight downward tilt at the corners of his lips.

His eyes, however, were as unreadable as they had always been.

It was funny, that she had never been able to see anything in his eyes—just their dark color, bottomless pools of black. Once, a long time ago, she had thought them to be the most beautiful eyes she had ever seen; but if all they ever were was a blank canvas, then what was the point? Sakura had often heard that eyes were supposed to be the window to a person's soul, so…what exactly did that mean?

She offered him a small smile, turning her eyes back out across the water.

Sasuke wasn't soulless, nor was he as cold as some people made him out to be—or, really, as cold as he'd like to be. He was just quiet and thoughtful, more keen on keeping to himself than seeking conversation.

Honestly, Sakura didn't blame him.

Everyone he loved had been taken from him once already—it was only reasonable that he wanted people to stay at a distance. And now that his brother was gone, he was the only person he had left. He was a lost little boy again, a lonely orphan without a family or any real friends.

And then she stopped herself, looking back at him looking at her.

That wasn't entirely true…he had her.

And as much as she was loath to admit it, he would always have her whether she was wanted or not.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Sasuke watched her emerald orbs as the happiness in them slowly melted away, replaced with a tinge of sadness and something else he could never quite read.

He averted his gaze to once more watch the moonlit water sifting past them, wondering how he always managed to take all her cheer without even saying anything. She truly was one of the strangest girls he had ever met—her mood was constantly changing, her expressions never quite the same each time you looked. In contrast, he had always worn a stoic mask of indifference; even now, it was rare to find him when his guard was down. But Sakura…

There was just a certain air about her, something that radiated warmth despite the cold weather and mist. He was a selfish man, to take everything she offered him, everything he did not deserve.

But he knew that, despite this, he would still keep all that she gave.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Sakura gently brushed her small fingers over the back of his left hand, frowning at the numerous scars that laced their way from fingers to elbow. She could feel his heavy gaze on her as she gingerly took his hand in hers, turning it over and tracing her fingertips across his palm.

"This is from your chidori, isn't it?" she asked softly. Even though she wasn't looking, she could feel his nod.

"Normally chakra keeps the skin intact," he spoke, voice soft and smooth, "but when you run out, this happens."

Sakura knew this. She was a medic, and knew what overused jutsu could do to the body—especially when it was an elemental technique. But for some reason, looking at his scars and knowing there were so many more—inside and out—that she couldn't do anything about hurt.

It hurt to know that she hadn't been there, hurt to know that if this was from his own jutsu then that meant what his brother had done to him had been so much worse. It hurt to know that she hadn't helped to bring him home, that she hadn't been there when Naruto dragged him into the hospital.

It hurt to know that he was still hurting, whether or not he chose to admit it.

And suddenly there were tears slipping down her cheeks, slowly, and to the already dampened wood of the bridge they stood on.

She gently curled his fingers, pressing her lips to his knuckles.

"I'm sorry," she hiccupped, closing her eyes and trying to stop crying. "I'm sorry for…not being there."

xXxXxXxXxXx

He stared down at her for a long moment, tears running down her porcelain cheeks and onto his hand as she held it against her lips.

Watching her cry and apologize over something that had nothing to do with her frustrated him, more than anything. They were just scars; yes, his arm had hurt like hell at the time, but what was the point in worrying over something that was already done?

Her fingers tightened over his fist, and something in his chest lurched, suddenly, in a feeble attempt at life.

Sasuke had always looked at emotions as more of a weakness, than anything. They had always been nothing but a burden to him, leaving an ache in his bones when he was small and a hole in his chest as he grew older. Attachment to someone was a one-way ticket to pain, something that would only wind up leaving him in misery. So why bother, he had often asked himself, if he would just wind up regretting it later? Why bother with emotions, with bonds, with love?

But now, as he looked at her, he realized that keeping those feelings intact over the years was her greatest strength. It didn't matter that she still loved him when he didn't deserve it. What mattered was the fact that she still did, that she still had the ability to love, to form bonds with other people.

She had persevered over the years, lost many and gained many, too. And in the end, he knew that she would keep persevering, keep loving, because that's just the kind of person she was.

He gently took his hand from hers, brushed her hair back and pushed her chin up to look at him.

Her eyes opened, green and shimmering with tears, and that same something he couldn't name in his chest lurched again.

"Why do I always make you cry?"

xXxXxXxXxXx

His voice was soft and hesitant, questioning. It was the first time she had ever heard his voice sound like this, and she tried not to cry harder, taking a deep breath through her nose and shutting her eyes tightly as she tried to find the right words.

She didn't want to tell him that she was crying because she loved him, or because it hurt to know that he would never love her. She didn't want to tell him that it hurt just to be here with him tonight, knowing that.

She just wanted to go home, curl up beneath her covers and forget his scars and his face and her love for him and just start over.

Sakura reopened her eyes and looked into his, ready to tell him that she really needed to go and that she was sorry, so sorry. But as she stared into those pools of obsidian, normally so hard and unreadable, she saw something flicker across them—something she couldn't quite describe. It was something akin to…loss. Or pain. Or caring.

And suddenly she could think of nothing else to say or do but hold his firm shoulders and crush her lips to his.

XXxXxXxXxXxxXxXxXxXxXxxXxXxXxXxXx

**Submit Review-chan didn't get her kiss under the mistletoe this year…maybe Go can help remedy that situation…**

**Peace,  
_Dani_**


	15. Beginnings

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Not even a little tiny blonde hair. **

**So I haven't been alive since New Years, which means it's been about four months, but whatever.**

**At least this time I'm not posting at, like, 2AM Arizona time! Whoooo!**

**Well, I'm blaming the lateness on my new puppy, this time, because he's adorable and so terribly distracting. He's four months old today, actually, and he's half German shepherd and half Siberian husky and he's all white and his name is Yukon andandand he hasoneblueeyeandonebrownandhe'sadorableandandand…YEAH. :D**

**Ahaha, well, there isn't a whole lot for me to say about this one except that IT IS THE FINAL CHAPTER. No more after this. Chapter fifteen is here, and it is THE END. I do not intend to write any sequels. I am satisfied with this chapter and its ending, and if you're not…well, too bad for you.**

**Read! And please review, it makes me feel so giddy.**

**Uh, as far as music goes, the Shinichi Osawa remix of "Pogo" by Digitalism is responsible for most of this chapter. Songs like that are the reason I'm alive.**

**And you can probably tell where I got really into writing this, because the paragraphs are fatter and nicer. Haha.**

**I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER AND EVER if you leave me a review. It doesn't even have to be a nice one.**

**Special Thanks:  
****Soporific, YoungSasuke, Brandy Camel, hushhushyou, graviola, Zelha, Kineticfairy, runwithskizzers, Sagitarious Devil, cottoncandyskies, MidnightRosebud, jaishe, Masked and Dangerous, DesslerAlmeida, Claud-kun, TwistedAttraction, Nyaro, darklace15, Inuzuka Nin, Incognito Temptation, olhai.lirios, fleeting thought, insaneteacup, charl, kinomoto blossom, lepetitchat, pinkLaLa-o3, Whii-chan, Kawaii IceCream, the blanket, Darkofthenight, Sienna Maiu, clenalyn, serenitydreemz, SnowballoC, sakura9898, DeviouslyEeyore, nhix, 00vixey00, Only Secret, jami16, Alucius, YoungSasuke, hibiscussummoner, Captain Stu, xrose45623, 20 Thousand Leagues, Pure Essence, RLO, keigojin, icygirl2, DeepFreeze, yourdarkdesire, tarzi-kins, hushhushyou, nhix, BastetAzazis, Sabaku no Senshi, PrincessLazyPants, Arella, eeeee.eee.eeee, Pearl Drop Rain, Dattabayo, Teefie, fuu-nk, mak0-ch1, Ribs On The Run, Bea.., FlamedraSeer7213, iFo0l, s&sforever, xxCrex3int-, Erica, Roses of Sharon, Haruka Kokoro, Light Me Up, Pearl Drop Rain, divinemystique6**

**ESPECIALLY:  
**cottoncandyskies**, because, let's face it, anyone who can fit a tiny romance novel into a review has to be pretty amazing.  
**runwithskizzers**, because when you update, I have to update. Asshole. Hahaaa, jaykay, jaykay…**

**Acknowledgements:  
**runwithskizzers**: I won't lie to you, the minute you updated I was like "Shit! Now I really have to get to work!" Haha. You probably don't remember your review by now, but I really appreciate it.  
**xrose45623**: Thank you, dah-ling! I'm so honored you consider this one of your favorites.  
**Brandy Camel**: BRANDY CRIED? AHAH! Success! Lol, only joking. Thanks for all the wonderful reviews, and the humor, too.  
**PrincessLazyPants**: Well, I'm certainly glad that you couldn't find me thanks to my ninja skills, because I would've been totally dead if you saw how much procrastination I was doing as far as this story went. It wasn't my fault, though! It was WoW, and my puppy, and boys!  
**Serenity.Aglow**: Ohhh…thank you so much. I'm so glad that you like this and I am definitely grateful you've stuck with me 'til the end!  
**Kineticfairy**: You certainly have my sympathy, and I hope your situation gets better soon. Thank you for all of your reviews, and thank you, especially, for not giving up on me and my sporadic updates.  
**FlamedraSeer7213**: Haha! A bright shining star in a sea of darkness, eh? Well, it certainly made me laugh. Thanks so much.  
**hushhushyou**: Well, now you know how many are left…just this one. I promise I'll have another multi-chaptered fic out soon, though.  
**Dattabayo**: Oh my, you check daily? That's a lot of days. Sorry for the delay! And thank you for your glorious reviews.  
**yourdarkdesire**: You broke your elbow? Ouch. Thanks for the lovin'. :D  
**Haruka Kokoro**: You've summarized it more beautifully than I ever could have. Thanks a bunch.**

**And here it is (drumroll please), the final chapter…**

xXxXxXxXxXxxXxXxXxXxXxxXxXxXxXxXx

**_Chapter Fifteen: Beginnings_**

It was then, on that bridge in the moonlight, pouring everything she had into that one contact of lips, that Sakura realized there would never be room for anyone but Sasuke in her heart.

She was still crying as she kissed him, still aching inside, even when he took his scarred left hand and buried it in her hair. He would forever be her everything and nothing, her weakness and her strength. He was her reason to live, to love and hate, to laugh and weep.

The fingers of his other hand tentatively brushed her hip, gentle and unsure, so terribly tender.

He didn't even love her back.

A horrible sob wracked through her bones and she drew back from him; their noses were touching, breath mingling. She stared into his hard black eyes with glittering jade ones, tears endlessly sliding down her cheeks.

"I love you so much," she whispered against his lips, pausing only to swallow the lump in her throat, "that it hurts."

And Sakura ran, because she could never think rationally otherwise.

xXxXxXxXxXx

She slipped through his fingers easily, like the water that so freely flowed under the bridge.

It was ironic, that after all those years of chasing him across land and sea he was finally home—and all they could do was run away from each other.

Sasuke stared down at the scars that laced their way jaggedly over the back of his hand and up to his elbow. Faintly, he could still feel her lips on his knuckles, could still taste the saline, could still see the way the stars made her tears glitter as they slid down her face and clung to her eyelashes.

And then he realized that perhaps they weren't running away from each other so much as what they had steadily built between them since his return.

Their undefined relationship had turned into a mutual bond, something stronger but still so ambiguous. He wouldn't lie to himself any longer—that bond intimidated him. He had worked hard to sever all of his ties to this place the day he left the village, but the fact that she had so easily cut down his defenses and worked her way back in only served to prove that all his work had been for naught.

No matter how hard he had tried over the years he had been gone, this place would always be home.

He hadn't thought of her very often during his time with Orochimaru and his time searching for his brother, he couldn't lie about that. He had expected her to remain the same, somehow—weak, small, insignificant.

He had seen her once, that time nearly three years ago when they had found him, tried to bring him home. She had changed, certainly—but she still looked at him like a lovesick puppy.

And when Naruto finally managed to drag him home—bloody, beaten, burned by his own techniques and his brother's Amaterasu—she had morphed into someone completely different. No longer was she a pompous little girl, but a serious kunoichi. She had been apathetic towards him, and perhaps he had deserved it.

But he hadn't expected it to sting as much as it had.

Sasuke closed his eyes, blocked out the stars and moon—he had anticipated the cool darkness of his closed eyelids.

Instead he saw the shimmering brightness of her watery green eyes.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Sakura lie on that precious hill in the most deserted section of the village, staring for the first time at the stars instead of a sunrise.

She had stopped crying some time ago, but the tracks down her cheeks were clearly visible, eyes still slightly puffy. Her knee was scuffed from where she had stumbled during her blind flight away from him, and she couldn't help but let out a derisive bark of laughter.

Even now, his presence only served to bring out the worst in her.

Shivering as the damp chill of the grass beneath her began to seep into her flesh, Sakura asked herself what had come over her on that bridge tonight.

She had always been so careful, up to this point, never to shove any unwanted physical contact upon him. Theirs was a fragile bond, newly formed and still trying to use its legs properly—the tiniest breeze could set it off, and Sakura may as well have created a hurricane.

She rolled onto her side and pulled her legs up closer to her body, arms crossed over her chest for warmth.

She felt like a stubborn child, sitting out there in the cold when she should've been home in bed, though she knew sleep would not come even if she did return to her apartment. Her body and mind were still buzzing with what had occurred only moments ago.

That indiscernible something in his eyes…what had it been? It had come and gone so quickly that now she wasn't so sure she had seen it at all. Probably, it was just a trick of the moonlight across the water. Reflections.

Despite her attempts at rationalizing, something in the back of her mind whispered that agonizing question:

_Then why didn't he push you away?_

Why not, indeed.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Leaning against the railing of the bridge as the sky's reflection glinted below, Sasuke watched the river flow languidly by.

The sound of water had always managed to calm him in a way that he neither understood nor questioned, even in the months and years after his family's massacre. It filled him with a sense of tranquility that meditating never could, alleviating his mind—if only temporarily—of the memories constantly floating at the back of his brain.

He had seen her cry many times before, but something about her display of emotion tonight set something loose in him, deep beneath his ribcage, that he had thought long dead.

It was something weak, something indefinable yet incredibly lucid. He had felt its gentle whispering when she had told him she wished she hated him, felt it trying to break free when he kissed her afterwards. He had pushed it out of his mind for a while since then, but now that it had stirred within him he couldn't just forget about it.

Sasuke could remember this unrest in his chest when he was very small. He hadn't understood what it was, back then.

And he still didn't understand it now.

What he did know, however, was that it had something to do with Sakura. That almost painful lurch in his chest earlier had been for her, and right now he wasn't sure how he felt about that.

He took a deep breath of the cool, damp air, feeling it travel through his nose and into his lungs. His blood needed the oxygen to operate his body, but the oxygen also needed his blood in order to circulate.

It seemed like a rather uncanny match, blood and oxygen. But it was just common knowledge that without the other, the first simply couldn't function properly.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Her keys were in her hand, but Sakura had sat instead upon the cold concrete of the last step before her apartment door.

She ran a small hand through her mussed pink hair before leaning back on both palms, tilting her head back to stare at the thick branches of the tree that formed a great umbrella over the roof of her apartment.

She had never really given how old the tree was much thought, but it was huge. It's girth was about four times the size of Naruto, and tall enough that you had to crane your neck nearly all the way back to see the top. Trees like this didn't just pop up over night…they were centuries old, strong and thick. They were the trees that had seen each and every Hokage the village had ever had, the kinds of trees that, if they could speak, you would imagine to be incredibly wise.

Sakura was a very smart girl. She could counteract poison with her own chakra, could measure out the correct amount of antibiotic just by looking at a patient. She could recite every shinobi rule verbatim, could tell you the best way to set a broken bone. Hell, she could even teach you how to make a sling with nothing but a shirt sleeve and two senbon.

She had graduated at the top of her class and nearly surpassed her mentor in medical skill.

One thing she did not have, however, was the wisdom to work through the situation she had landed herself in.

She sighed softly, tracing her eyes down to the middle of the tree's trunk, where she knew a great knot resided. Naruto had told her that if you squinted and turned your head to the left just slightly, it almost looked like an old woman.

"What should I do?" she whispered to the knot.

A breeze fluttered by, and the branches creaked in response.

Sakura groaned, pulling her knees closer to herself and burying her face in her hands. Sasuke probably hated her, and now she was talking to trees.

How glorious.

xXxXxXxXxXx

At night, everything green turned to a most mysterious shade of inky black.

Tree leaves, signposts, painted doors, grass…all of it, from the most vivid shades of beryl and viridian to clear, all encompassing dark. Sasuke pushed his hands further into his pockets as he walked down the deserted streets, glancing up at the sky. It was beginning to turn from midnight blue to deep, royal purple.

The sun would be rising soon, and where would she be?

Sasuke faltered in his steps before stopping altogether, staring uncertainly down the street where he knew her apartment resided.

All this time, he had gone there every night when the sky turned this color. The period of time it took for him to make three laps was enough, usually, for the sun to barely lurch over the horizon, painting that lonely hill with the grey but bright light of early morning. He would be there first, and she would follow.

They would watch the sunrise, and most of the time they would wind up falling asleep.

For the first time, however, since the day when she had first followed him, Sasuke didn't know whether or not to make that trip past her apartment. She looked exhausted all the time lately, and would probably be glad if he skipped on this particular ritual.

He glanced back up at the sky, which had lightened from a near-indistinguishably dark purple to a clearer shade of plum.

He could turn left here, wind his way home instead.

But Sasuke had always known he was selfish, and as he made his way down her street he was rather surprised to find her sitting outside her apartment, watching his approach with tired and wary eyes. She was tense from the shoulders upward, but she was slumped at the waist and her legs bowed inward to touch at the knee. Even if he hadn't seen the weariness in her eyes, he would have known that she was completely drained.

But once he did glimpse those orbs of jade, he found himself incapable of doing anything but staring into their clear and unfathomable depths.

At night, everything turned from the brightest of green to the darkest of black.

Sasuke pulled to a stop near the bottom of the small flight of stairs, never looking away.

Everything, that is, except her eyes.

xXxXxXxXxXx

His dark eyes were smoldering with something unreadable, and Sakura didn't know quite what to make of it. It wasn't the same something she had seen on the bridge earlier tonight—that something had been fleeting and heartbreaking, but this…this was entirely new to her.

She closed her eyes briefly before reopening them, despite the effort it took to keep her eyelids from drooping back shut.

"I'm…"

It came out as a dry croak, her throat still tight from her meltdown on the bridge. She cleared it softly before trying again, closing her eyes once more.

"I'm sorry," she spoke softly, voice hoarse with exhaustion, "about earlier."

He was silent, and a moment later when she found the courage to force her eyes back open she was silently relieved that he was looking away. Somehow, dealing with Sasuke became a hell of a lot harder when he was looking right at you—especially with those eyes.

"You shouldn't be," he said quietly after a moment, returning his eyes to hers for the briefest of moments before turning back around. That one, fleeting look sent her heart pounding for reasons she couldn't quite understand, and Sakura inwardly cursed herself for acting so foolish as she pressed her forehead to her knees.

What was she, five? A look meant absolutely—

"Sakura."

Her head shot up to find him stopped a few yards away, back to her.

"Aren't you coming?"

Those three words filled her chest with more relief than she could properly comprehend.

xXxXxXxXxXx

The sky was just beginning to turn the shade of a rather dark pomegranate by the time they crested the hill.

On the horizon directly in front of them, in a low, wide half-circle, the stars faded into nothingness and the sky was tinged wine red. They were lying close enough together that their shoulders nearly touched, but the space between them felt like miles. She was distancing herself for reasons he didn't know, and that bothered him more than her tears.

There was a twinge in his stomach that wouldn't go away.

It had always seemed like he was the one putting that space between them. He told her what he wanted to, and refused to say anything more, most of the time. Even he, however, wasn't blind to the fact that he probably felt more comfortable around her than he had around anyone else in a very, very long time.

More surprising than that was the fact that he knew, deep down, that he didn't mind the closeness. He liked having her around, liked having something stable in his life when for so long nothing had ever been certain. Sakura was a constant.

And now she was trying her hardest to disengage herself from everything they had built up.

When it came to emotions, Sasuke was usually clueless, and this time was no exception. She had told him that she loved him—many times, in fact. She sat with him, walked with him, drank tea with him, gave him her affections—she had even kissed him, earlier this evening. And now, it seemed, all she could do was run away and apologize, again and again, for things she shouldn't be apologizing for in the first place.

Those scars weren't her fault. And she had apologized for kissing him, when he himself had kissed her several times before.

Unbidden, he felt a tiny bubble of anger beginning to twist to life somewhere in his chest.

Whether it was for himself or her, he didn't know.

xXxXxXxXxXx

"You never smile when you're with me."

Sakura opened her eyes, frowning. Where did that come from?

She turned her head to look at him, but he was staring resolutely at that lightening strip of red where sky met earth. She opened her mouth slightly, on the verge of denying it, when she realized, quite suddenly, that it was true.

Her frown deepened as she lifted her eyes to look straight above them, where the sky was still untouched by the waking sun. It was a deep shade of indigo, the color of his hair and, if you ever got close enough to tell, the color of his eyes.

It wasn't that he as a person made her unhappy. As a matter of fact, she was probably most content during the few hours they spent together each morning and night. She was so happy that he was home, so happy that he was comfortable enough around her to talk. She knew that somewhere, in the far reaches of a heart long forgotten, that he cared about her, to an extent. Bonds like the ones Team 7 had didn't just disappear overnight.

No, it wasn't Sasuke that took the joy from her.

It was the fact that she knew, one day, that everything they had built up since his return would all have to come to an end.

"I'm sorry," she said, because it was all she could say. She couldn't bear to explain her gloom, couldn't walk away, couldn't ignore it because it was the painful, righteous truth.

She hadn't even realized that her eyes had refilled with tears until she shut them tightly, sending cool droplets running down the sides of her face and into her pink hair.

She heard him shift beside her, but refused to open her soft green eyes.

"Stop apologizing," he said, voice quiet but steely, "for things you can't control."

Lower lip trembling, she took a shaky breath. His tone demanded that she open her eyes and look at him, and quite against her will she found herself obeying. Now sitting up, he was staring down at her with those same smoldering chips of anthracite she had seen at the bottom of her apartment steps this morning. Those eyes sent her heart pounding all over again, and this time she sucked in a breath that had nothing to do with the tears.

Sakura hadn't the faintest clue what that fire was, lighting up his eyes like that. And that frightened her more than anything.

She pushed herself to her feet with a swiftness that belied her exhaustion, but she didn't even make it two steps away from him.

xXxXxXxXxXx

The sun broke the horizon line just as his hand grasped her wrist.

That one contact froze her in place and set in motion something entirely different from everything the two of them had formed over the past weeks. The indefinable something in Sasuke's chest lurched more powerfully than ever before, and Sakura felt something travel through her bones that felt an awful lot like longing.

He wasn't going to let her walk away this time.

It seemed like an eternity passed in which they just stood there, her wrist caught in his unrelenting grip. He felt more than saw her as, finally, she slowly turned back around to face him, tears still rolling silently down her cheeks. It took several more minutes before she took a tentative step closer, her arm relaxed in his firm hand.

Sasuke still didn't release her, still stared down at her with a tight sensation in his stomach.

The vast, luminous globe of the sun inched steadily higher over the horizon, bathing her in a crisp, golden light that set her skin glowing and her pink hair ablaze. A gentle, teasing wind brushed past them, playing with her clothes and moving across her face in a way that turned her short mane into the waves of a pink ocean. The tears on her cheeks were transformed into glimmering crystal in the first rays of the sun, and her eyes…

Her eyes remained a clear, stunning green, bright and gleaming with water at the edges. They were shimmering in a way he had never seen before as the pale golden light of dawn brought out the vividity of her irises.

Sasuke wasn't sure when his hand had relinquished its hold on her wrist, nor was he certain just when, exactly, he had taken a step closer. All he knew was that he was now holding her face as if afraid he might do harm if he pressed any harder, kissing her more gently than ever before as that something beneath his ribcage filled him with a strange sense of contentment.

He drew back slowly, searching her eyes for something he knew he would not find; things between them could never be the same after this moment, but right now Sasuke really didn't care.

"I think," he said in his quiet voice, absently watching a final tear make its way down her smooth cheek, "that I could love you, if I knew how."

XXxXxXxXxXxxXxXxXxXxXxxXxXxXxXxXx

**Go hasn't a clue where Submit Review-chan has gone! Maybe you could help reunite them. **

**Sooo this is it, the last chapter, the last Submit Review-chan and Go joke. I think I might cry. I'M GONNA MISS YOU ALL!**

**No worries, though. I'll definitely be back soon with an entirely new story to keep you kiddies interested, and I've actually got a couple chapters pre-written already. Leave me a review, tell me if you liked the ending, and definitely forgive me for all of my lazy updates.**

**Down and out,  
_Dani_**


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